shotgun wedding to fix a problem

[TTSQ]

My long distance boyfriend who also believes in christ says he cant do without sexual intimacy. its been 5 years yes i kno 5 years a long time but before that i was not repentant so we were sexual. However he now says he wants to marry me next week so it wont be a problem anymore, but am I wrong for feeling a little shocked and not ecstatic. Its way too soon couple months yes fine but he says if i dont agree to next week then its over. he says hes not willing to give up anymore for me hes already giving up sex. its as if he thought i was forcing him to propose to me when he said i want to wait till marriage. this is so painful yes marriage would mean we avoid fornication but still 1 week?

sorry for the grammar just so sad right now

 

[NiobiumTragedy]

He's very selfish to demand such a thing. Tell him he can take his relationship and shove it and move on to find someone who will actually respect you. Obviously you don't mean too much to him if he is willing to break up because you won't sleep with him.

You don't just jump into a marriage.

 

[SnappleX]

Since you have already engaged in sexual acts you are already "married"
Matthew 19:6 states "So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

(God hath joined together - Συνεζευξεν, yoked together,)
[that thing that God enjoined; i.e., knit together. aorist tense The (denoting the occurrence of an event at some past time, considered as a momentary act) ]

In laymens terms the Aorist is a class of verb forms that generally portray a situation or an 'undivided' event. A marriage is an undivided event! Now, I have not read any literature that suggests it HAS to be in the past, even though it is an indicative aurorist I am not sure what type of mood class it would fall under declarative or past present or future, it really depends which semitic translation you are using.

Hath is the third-person singular simple present indicative form of have.

Basically, A biblical marriage is nothing like it is these days. Even if you sleep with a Harlot you are joined as one! So I would say in this day and age if you have had sexual intercourse that you are "united" as one. And unless she commits a foolish act you must provide for her according to [1 Corinthians 7:11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.]

Hope this helped

 

[SnappleX]

Although she is not the head of the relationship and I Tim. 2:11-12 states"She shall have no dominion over a man". since your the Male, you must still honor her as yours since she gave up her name for yours!
1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Focus on scripture that teaches husband and father responsibilities


Enjoi
-- Snappy SNAP

 

[LinkH]

Having sex isn't the same as getting married. In the Old Testament, if a man took a virgin's virginity, he was required to marry her if the father would allow it. Either way, he had to pay the bride price for virgins. They had sex but weren't married yet.

It sounds like your BF might have said this when he was angry, something spoken during an argument. Let him cool down and see if he is more reasonable. I can understand why he would want to marry soon, but 1 week isn't really usually enough time to notify family and invite guests, etc.

5 years is a lot time to date. After 5 years, you should know if marriage is a serious consideration.

 

[mina]

I would say don't marry him. Especially if he's pushing marriage for this reason alone. or he's threatening to break up with you if you won't sleep with him or won't marry him to sleep with him. If it were me; I'd probably break up with him.

 

[Puptart]

Two thoughts:

1) After five years there should be absolutely no reason why you aren't married or at least engaged and trying to make plans to have a non-long-distance life together. If you've dated for five years and still "aren't sure", maybe it's best you date other people because I don't think this guy is the one, long distance or not.

2) He's being a jerk so I'd break up with him anyway. Even though I think 5 years is way too long to be dating, ultimatums are entirely and positively ugly.

 

[Catherineanne]

My long distance boyfriend who also believes in christ says he cant do without sexual intimacy. its been 5 years yes i kno 5 years a long time but before that i was not repentant so we were sexual. However he now says he wants to marry me next week so it wont be a problem anymore, but am I wrong for feeling a little shocked and not ecstatic. Its way too soon couple months yes fine but he says if i dont agree to next week then its over. he says hes not willing to give up anymore for me hes already giving up sex. its as if he thought i was forcing him to propose to me when he said i want to wait till marriage. this is so painful yes marriage would mean we avoid fornication but still 1 week?

sorry for the grammar just so sad right now

Traditionally, the man proposes, the woman sets the date (within mutually agreed parameters).

He is out of order.

 

[LinkH]

Btw, a shot-gun wedding usually involves a pregnant bride or a bride who has lost her virginity, and her father or other relatives putting pressure on the groom to marry her.

 

[blackribbon]

What happens if you do marry this guy and something happens that prevents you from having sex...maybe you have to be apart of for a period of time or something like a high risk pregnancy where sex is prohibited...would he walk or think this gives him permission to seek sex elsewhere?

I'm hoping that he was just talking from a place of frustration and not reality....I'd think really hard before I'd marry this man if he is serious because life does have a way of handing out many difficult situations.

I'm sorry that he has put you in a place where you have to make a decision like this. Be careful...as painful as it is to walk away from someone you love, being stuck in a bad marriage is worse.

 

[twins15]

Two thoughts:

1) After five years there should be absolutely no reason why you aren't married or at least engaged and trying to make plans to have a non-long-distance life together. If you've dated for five years and still "aren't sure", maybe it's best you date other people because I don't think this guy is the one, long distance or not.

2) He's being a jerk so I'd break up with him anyway. Even though I think 5 years is way too long to be dating, ultimatums are entirely and positively ugly.

Yep. Agreed completely with both of these points.