Sexy 2

[corvus_corax]

And what is hurricane hair?

Insane bed hair
Ya know, standing out all over the place, seemingly in non-compliance with physics...........lol
Seen it, had it (having long hair like I do lends me to having "hurricane hair" in the morning)

 

[Washington]

I'm having a little difficulty with this OP. Are you simply referring to dressing provocatively? Because sexy is different things to different people.

Whatever a person thinks makes them more sexually alluring. See the list of helpful (?) "sexy" sites I made in post #5.

 

[OphidiaPhile]

That would be the end result of a night's sleep on about 2 1/2 feet of extremely thick & very curly hair. In short, quite frightening - think finger-in-electrical-socket-type hair.

I think I understand now, the tangles must be hell to get out.

 

[Caitlin.ann]

["Sexy 2" because the first "Sexy" thread didn't post properly. I ask that the thread be removed.]

Anyway, the question: Anything wrong in deliberately being or trying to be sexy? If not, what do you see as its limits, if any?

Nothing wrong with taking care of your body and feeling good about it. Nothing wrong with showing your body off.

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

Take a look at these.

THIS ,"Subtle ways to be sexy every day" article goes into the following four aspects:

1. Soft and sexy
2. Simple and sexy
3. Sassy and sexy
4. Strong and sexy

HERE is another piece titled, "Sex Tips For Geeks: How To Be Sexy."

And HERE is one called, "How to be a sexy woman? Tips and ideas for women to be sexy, seductive, and stylish "
LOL! This one actually mentions posture! It also says having a messy purse is a no-no.

Then there's THIS one his titled, "Feel Sexy in a Flash."

And how about "How To Dress Sexy (Without Looking [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth])" HERE?
​

I'm thinking of Webster's definition:

"1 : sexually suggestive or stimulating"

​

I watched the video at the last site - I didn't see anything I would find offensive. (I also didn't see anything I found particularly appealing or sexy, but that's neither here nor there)

I don't think that there is anything wrong with trying to dress in a attractive manner that is flattering to your body type. Some folks might find it sexy; others won't.

I do think there is a point at which so much is revealed it is too much - but that's just my personal opinion and is likely influenced by the fact that I'm now 45 years old and I'm a mom.

(OphidiaPhile - the tangles are dreadful. I actually do not brush or comb my hair at all when it is dry; I wash my hair every morning and brush through it while I have a couple of handfuls of conditioner in it.)

 

[Verv]

Christians are what ever they "choose" to be. Want to sound like Eb? Go right ahead.

I think that in such a small thread where everyone is so willing to be ultra-critical of Christians it is unfair.

How about if they consider their looks coming in second to these other features you have in mind. Are they then permitted to be sexy?

Permitted is not the right word. This isn't a legal question, Washington.

Any attempt to portray oneself as sexually appealing hints at a baser human urge that is unneeded unless it is for your spouse. It is not the right way to meet people and not the best way to gain respect for oneself as this is all based on vanity.

So others shouldn't try to be sexy in case they happen to come within your field of vision. Gotcha!

Do I have permission to make a sarcastic response at this, or is that flaming?

I have a sarcastic response I want to make but I am wondering if it is "flaming."

Not to you perhaps, but others are quite moved by my sexiness.

....

Sorry about distracting you like that.

Sorry you feel like you need to gain attention through your body. You seem like smart enough of a person to be able to express oneself positively in other ways and get the attention that your ego craves.

For instance, get a giant tattoo that expresses something about what is on the inside.

Ah ha! What else has god told you lately? Anything about the less than admirable tactics of today's creationists?

...

I disagree wholeheartedly with your post and I am beginning to get the idea that you are a very miserable human being.

Actually, I am a 'lifelover.' Do you see my signature?

My life is very fulfilling and I do not even have to dress sexy or have casual sex with others.

I play in an awesome thrash metal / thrashcore band; we rock out frequently; I have the best friends and really, I am thankful to God.

You know, life can be happy without breaking Christian morals.

In summation, pursuit of natural behavior is wrong.

God apparently creates us sick and then commands us to be well...

No, the pursuit of natural behavior is not wrong but the overindulgence in base, animalistic behaviors is wrong.

Sexuality in marriage is fine; outside, not.

But you are right: God did create us with a sickness and then commands us to resist it and prove our Faith by becoming disciplined.

In mastering our sins we understand ourselves better; we are tempered and pass through the crucible, made into gold.

Have you ever done anything that required great discipline and then was rewarded?

Do you understand discipline?

Hmmm ...while I haven't much to say about the topic I sure wish that you'd spell 'Scrooge' the correct way.

I am sorry.

 

[cantata]

I think that in such a small thread where everyone is so willing to be ultra-critical of Christians it is unfair.

People are only being "ultra-critical" of you, and that's because you turned up and accused people of criticizing Christians before anyone had had a chance to say their piece. It's kind of pathetic, actually.

 

[Washington]

I think that in such a small thread where everyone is so willing to be ultra-critical of Christians it is unfair.

??? You were the first one to bring up Christians. In post #6

Permitted is not the right word. This isn't a legal question, Washington.

And not all permission is based on law.

So choose the word you prefer to establish the uncriticized ability to be "admired for superficial features." In as much as you consider it "harmful to the person who values their good looks and their body over their other features and desires to be admired by others for superficial features" I figured that, like other harmful practices, which no reasonable person would permit, this one too would not be permitted.

Any attempt to portray oneself as sexually appealing hints at a baser human urge that is unneeded unless it is for your spouse.

So sexual baseness is okay if it's for one's spouse. Gotcha.

It is not the right way to meet people and not the best way to gain respect for oneself as this is all based on vanity.

And, of course, this form of "right" is quite subjective, which means your "not right" is no more correct than my "right," which gets you nowhere here.

Do I have permission to make a sarcastic response at this, or is that flaming?
I have a sarcastic response I want to make but I am wondering if it is "flaming."

Flaming? Absolutely not. It was sarcasm at your presumption that people should not be " assault[ing you] with sexual images" when you don't want them to. As for making a sarcastic response, you don't need my go-ahead. Be as sarcastic as you can. In fact, I rather appreciate good sarcasm, even at my own expense

Sorry you feel like you need to gain attention through your body. You seem like smart enough of a person to be able to express oneself positively in other ways and get the attention that your ego craves.

I was kidding . *eye-roll*

 

[Verv]

People are only being "ultra-critical" of you, and that's because you turned up and accused people of criticizing Christians before anyone had had a chance to say their piece. It's kind of pathetic, actually.

... OK. That's nice.

??? You were the first one to bring up Christians. In post #6

It was easy to see your entire post from the start is meant to bait Christians.

I knew immediately that whatever I wrote would result in:

Look how anti-fun and anti-happiness Christians are!
Look at how guilty they feel! Look at how sad they are!

It was going to work out as a stupid thread from the start.

And not all permission is based on law.

So choose the word you prefer to establish the uncriticized ability to be "admired for superficial features." In as much as you consider it "harmful to the person who values their good looks and their body over their other features and desires to be admired by others for superficial features" I figured that, like other harmful practices, which no reasonable person would permit, this one too would not be permitted.

No; why would you control someone else's actions who does not think it is immoral? We live in a free country and it is this freedom alone that promises me my own freedom, to let you be free, blah blah blah, I do not believe in theocracies.

We were given free will.

So sexual baseness is okay if it's for one's spouse. Gotcha.

Yes. You are supposed to be able to release your sexual urges with your spouse so you do not burn from temptation.

Flaming? Absolutely not. It was sarcasm at your presumption that people should not be " assault[ing you] with sexual images" when you don't want them to. As for making a sarcastic response, you don't need my go-ahead. Be as sarcastic as you can. In fact, I rather appreciate good sarcasm, even at my own expense

I just have been reported like, 4 times in the last week. I am not interested in doing it and I even forgot it, now.

 

[cantata]

So, is there anything wrong with trying to be sexy?

No.

But there is something wrong with the pressure on people to be sexy, and the way that most of that pressure falls upon women.

The links that Washington posted were a bit of a mixture. The first one was talking about sexiness and appearance as if it were a woman's duty to look attractive. And much of the discussion about trying to look sexy focused on the idea of attracting a man (rather than enjoying dressing up, feeling "at one's best", or even, heaven forbid, attracting a woman). And you know what? It's your fault if men find you intimidating because you're not smiling a lot, you silly cow.

The one aimed at men - the geek one - you'll notice focuses less on physical appearance and more on behaviour. (Also, excuse me while I hate on people who excuse obnoxious behaviour on the basis of "biological imperatives". Grr. I dislike very much the way that all these articles suggest that the opposite sex won't be able to help themselves if you just wear xyz and do pqr.)

I approve slightly more of this one, because of this:

"You don't have to be sexy for a man. You can be one just for your own happiness. You can also be one even when you are alone and no one is looking at you. It is not something that you do to please others; you can do it for yourself - this is a lifestyle."

It's much less prescriptive and seems to talk about being a pleasant and kind person as well as looking good, which I can go along with.

The "sexy ideas" one was mostly pretty good, and clearly aimed at couples, although there were a few solo ideas thrown in, which confused me slightly - the ratio of sexy-by-myself to sexy-with-my-boyfriend was very much skewed in the direction of needing someone else around to feel sexy, but maybe I'm just being picky now. I do also think that if you did everything on that list you'd be a complete doormat (not to mention seem kind of weird to your partner, frankly), and I noted the conspicuous absence of demanding that he do things for you that you might actually enjoy, as opposed to demanding he do things in order to assert your sexy female dominance! (Because all powerful women must also be sexy. It's the law.)

The last one is another one of those "You must look like this or no man will ever touch you!" jobs. Apparently, "You want to look like you wake up, eat and sleep sexy." I do? And we are obliged, ladies, to suck in our stomach and stick out our chest at the gym. Because a man might see us, and we don't want to burn his precious little eyes with our hideous flab, do we?

Honestly.

 

[cantata]

... OK. That's nice.

Well, what do you expect? What would you expect if someone turned up in a thread by you that was intended to be an open question and said, "Oh, I can see where this is going! I'm going to get PERSECUTED here!"

Sorry, but preemptive whinging is pathetic. I expected better.

 

[Washington]

It was easy to see your entire post from the start is meant to bait Christians.

Every OP I make is made in hopes of creating a discussion (pretty much the basic reason for CF's existence). In that Christians tend to have more outlandish responses to the subject of sex than others I was certainly interested in seeing what kind of discussion they might create---often there remarks are the most interesting. But more importantly, there was no intent to be "ultra critical" or even critical, but simply to get a good exchange going. If you take exception to this feel free to sit on the sidelines.

Look how anti-fun and anti-happiness Christians are!
Look at how guilty they feel! Look at how sad they are!



It was going to work out as a stupid thread from the start.

Okay, now you're making me fell bad for your misunderstanding here. Don't do that.

No; why would you control someone else's actions who does not think it is immoral? We live in a free country and it is this freedom alone that promises me my own freedom, to let you be free, blah blah blah, I do not believe in theocracies.

Not immoral, but HARMFUL. That's the word you used.

We were given free will.

No we're weren't. No one has free will. We just act as if we do.

Yes. You are supposed to be able to release your sexual urges with your spouse so you do not burn from temptation.

So what happens to the good Christian that has no spouse? What outlet for her/his sexual urges has god provided for them? Or is this just a "tough luck, buddy. Burn." situation?

 

[Verv]

To Cantata: First, I find it ironic that now you have to defend the notion of being sexy when you disapprove of the pressure created. I would think that someone who is against the superficial would be against the notion of people trying to be sexy as it is a fundamentally superficial act.

I think that the most "sexy" thing is usually a woman who is intellectually or emotionally stimulating to myself as opposed to physical appearances. Physical appearances promise nothing. Mind and emotion is eternal.

Second: I think you do not realize that these days, especially, men do have burdens to present themselves as sexy. Of course it is more present for women but yeah, you know.

To Washington: an unmarried Christian who is burning with passion should find other outlets. You can never just say "Hey, go be sinful!" to someone.

If someone is very angry all the time you do not tell them that it is fine for them to go out and pick fights.

My sympathy to everyone who is struggling. I wish there was more to say -- I would recommend looking for spouses and trying to get fulfillment in other things.

 

[cantata]

To Cantata: First, I find it ironic that now you have to defend the notion of being sexy when you disapprove of the pressure created. I would think that someone who is against the superficial would be against the notion of people trying to be sexy as it is a fundamentally superficial act.

I have no problem with the superficial. I quite cheerfully embrace the superficial, actually.

I have a problem with the idea that you can only be sexy by being superficial, or that looking sexy is the thing that makes one "a real woman".

I think that the most "sexy" thing is usually a woman who is intellectually or emotionally stimulating to myself as opposed to physical appearances. Physical appearances promise nothing. Mind and emotion is eternal.

So you like sexy women. Thanks for clarifying.

Second: I think you do not realize that these days, especially, men do have burdens to present themselves as sexy. Of course it is more present for women but yeah, you know.

Yeah, I know. It is absolutely more present for women.

 

[lisah]

Take a look at these.

THIS ,"Subtle ways to be sexy every day" article goes into the following four aspects:

1. Soft and sexy
2. Simple and sexy
3. Sassy and sexy
4. Strong and sexy

HERE is another piece titled, "Sex Tips For Geeks: How To Be Sexy."

And HERE is one called, "How to be a sexy woman? Tips and ideas for women to be sexy, seductive, and stylish "

Then there's THIS one his titled, "Feel Sexy in a Flash."

And how about "How To Dress Sexy (Without Looking [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth])" HERE?
​

I'm thinking of Webster's definition:

"1 : sexually suggestive or stimulating"

​

Well, I don't know Washington. Glancing over that first article, it's more about looking nice, than it is looking overtly sexy. You know, doing it tastefully, which can also be sexy. Attractiveness is naturally also sexy. I think they are just using the word 'sexy' in that article as a selling point to get readers attention to be drawn to read it.

What is sexy? People are sexy. Haven't you ever been extremely attracted to someone at first glance? That person is sexually appealing, whether they try to be or not. There is just something about that person. Maybe it's how they dress, but maybe it's something else?

A person's mind can be very sexy.

Anyway, people are attracted (or repelled) by what it is you are presenting. If what a person is doing is not something natural for them, it will not work for very long. I think it's okay to take fashion tips, but keep in mind what it is you want.

I had an experience once after meeting this man. It was at work, and it was his smile that attracted me. He was sexy. He did not have to flirt. All he had to do was to look at me and smile. My entire body flushed.

That is sexy.

 

[Verv]

I have no problem with the superficial. I quite cheerfully embrace the superficial, actually.

I am glad that you do. On some levels the superficial is appealing because it is simple and easy to understand.

But the second we are being superficially immoral by ignoring others and by glorifying the vain, superficiality is a disease on the spirit of the person.

I have a problem with the idea that you can only be sexy by being superficial, or that looking sexy is the thing that makes one "a real woman".

Why is sexiness a virtue?

So you like sexy women. Thanks for clarifying.

I try not to think about sex unless it is in the context of marriage.

Yeah, I know. It is absolutely more present for women.

Do you think that it is shifting at all? I think the balance will always have it more emphasized for women but I think that it has dramatically become more important for men since the dawn of the 1990s.

I blame Zack Morris from Saved By The Bell.

 

[Beanieboy]

To me, if someone is trying to be sexy, they usually aren't.
If someone is oblivious to how sexy they are, they are irresistible to me.

 

[stan1980]

All in all, I don't see anything really wrong with wanting to make yourself look better as long as it doesn't become unhealthy, no one says anything if you want to make yourself more intelligent. Presentation is important to virtually every person in the world, only a fool would say otherwise.

I'm not too concerned about these articles giving tips on how to make yourself sexier either. It's a circular effect, everyone wants to look (or behave) more appealing. That's been the case for thousands of years. These articles just provide the reader with "helpful" tips. So is it these magazines and cosmetic companies that are too blame for pressuring people to look good? I don't think so, they're just cashing in on a demand that's been bubbling around for probably all of human history.

Maybe for health reasons, slim is sexy is the most objectionable idea though.

I actually think women overall are the lucky ones as far as looks go though... I'll explain... We're all a little vein, men and women, and we all want to look good (most of us anyway).

You have a naturally attractive male and a naturally attractive female. Neither are going to have to make much of an effort to look great, so lucky them.

Then you have the average looking male and the average looking female. The average looking female can still make herself look stunning with the help of cosmetics, I'm not so sure if the average looking male can, he'll generally look weird or alternative if he goes for the makeup option, probably not sexy to most people.

Then you have an ugly male and an ugly female... The ugly male is screwed, his options on making himself look good are severely limited, the chances are he'll live his life with little or no attention from the opposite sex, fewer friends (unless he has an outstanding personality or money), he might get depressed, maybe even commit suicide. The ugly female on the other hand with the right makeup can still make herself look pretty presentable if she decides she wants to make the effort. She doesn't have to, but at least she has that option! The guy is mainly stuck with his ugliness!

Some will say that makeup doesn't actually make women look sexier, they might be right in some cases but I'm not quite buying that in general. Here are some celebrities without makeup, how many look better? http://www.topsocialite.com/celebrities-without-makeup/

Bear in mind, this is only really facial looks I'm talking about. Facial looks are probably the first thing most people notice, so if you're trying to work out what is sexy, the face might be the place to start. There are lots of other kinds of sexy of course, sometimes it's just a person's mannerisms, or their accent, their body, personality, money to some, the list goes on...

If anyone disagrees with anything I've said, as you might, I'm all ears!

 

[stan1980]

Do you think that it is shifting at all? I think the balance will always have it more emphasized for women but I think that it has dramatically become more important for men since the dawn of the 1990s.

I blame Zack Morris from Saved By The Bell.

I think there is probably more pressure, but still not that much pressure. I don't really do a lot to make myself look good apart from buy clothes that fit me and exercise sometimes... even then, that's not too look, so there can't be that much pressure on me, but that's just my own perspective.

I think the pressure on men is to get a good job, and not be a "bum" so that he can provide, the pressure on women is more to look good. I don't think that's a new thing, that's probably been the case for thousands of years.

 

[bria0128]

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