Sex: Entering into this physical union.....

[Amélie Unbound]

All geniuses are dangerous people you know! And you went and married one!

He's not dangerous! Physically unfit, yes. Dangerous, no.

He's a sweetie.

 

[danlutgen]

Tried that. It doesn't work. It's not that he doesn't want it. It's that he doesn't want it more than once a week, which is frustrating for me. I've tried acting seductive and tried dressing up in sexy lingerie, and nothing happens. It's incredibly humiliating to dress up like that and be rejected, so I won't do that again. We've done lots of talking about it, and he says he finds sex too tiring to do more than once a week. He's very affectionate, likes groping me and stuff on a daily basis, but will only have actual sex once a week.

How old is your husband; 80. ha ha. At 42 in a week being tired is not an excuse

 

[MoodyBlue]

......is the best way a woman can encourage her husband.

Enough said.

That's a great line you've got there. Is your wife/signficant other buying it? I'm quite sure my wife wouldn't.

 

[seamonster]

......is the best way a woman can encourage her husband.

Enough said.

That's awesome.
I'm going to go encourage my husband now.

 

[beehoney]

That's awesome.
I'm going to go encourage my husband now.

LOL!

 

[Mrs. Enigma]

Wrong. You can't encourage a man with sex. You can have sex with him everyday, but that will not solve any problems. The more we give, the more you guys take, and it doesn't accomplish anything except satisfying your needs. That's a very selfish way of looking at a relationship. I pity your poor wife if she has to act like this all the time.

You are right. Sex alone will not work. You also need to respect and honor your man. If you berate him, control him, challenge him, and fight with him- sex is not gonna solve anything very well. (I am not talking about your marriage, as I do not know what it is like, I am just speaking in general here.)

However, in a healthy marriage, I think sex solves almost everything!

 

[Mom to 5]

However, in a healthy marriage, I think sex solves almost everything!

As much as I like sex with my husband, it does not solve anything. It may make neither one of us care about our problems anymore for awhile, but it does not solve them!

 

[Mrs. Enigma]

As much as I like sex with my husband, it does not solve anything. It may make neither one of us care about our problems anymore for awhile, but it does not solve them!

It seems to work for me. It reminds me that he is the boss, that he is smart, that he loves me, and that whatever he thinks is right. Sex is his best (and only)arguement. It can convince me of anything!

 

[Cordy]

It seems to work for me. It reminds me that he is the boss, that he is smart, that he loves me, and that whatever he thinks is right. Sex is his best (and only)arguement. It can convince me of anything!

Sex reminds you that he is the boss? That sounds so...

 

[Mr.Cheese]

What on earth does sex have to do with encouragement?
*is confused*

 

[InTheFlame]

Argent... I'm wondering if you misunderstood me in the thread that this one came from.

Sex has been WAY too distorted in this society of ours. To me, sex is something that both people in a marriage enjoy, and share regularly. I don't use sex to reward or encourage my husband, because sex is an integral part of our marriage. To reward or encourage him, I do MORE than have sex with him... generally things that I'll enjoy only vicariously through watching HIM enjoy it.

Where I think you've misunderstood me is this - you're thinking I'm advocating LESS than you... whereas I think I'm advocating MORE. In my model, both hubby and wife enjoy fulfilling sex AND extra loving gestures. In your model... hubby just gets sex.

 

[Argent]

Argent... I'm wondering if you misunderstood me in the thread that this one came from.

Sex has been WAY too distorted in this society of ours. To me, sex is something that both people in a marriage enjoy, and share regularly. I don't use sex to reward or encourage my husband, because sex is an integral part of our marriage. To reward or encourage him, I do MORE than have sex with him... generally things that I'll enjoy only vicariously through watching HIM enjoy it.

Where I think you've misunderstood me is this - you're thinking I'm advocating LESS than you... whereas I think I'm advocating MORE. In my model, both hubby and wife enjoy fulfilling sex AND extra loving gestures. In your model... hubby just gets sex.

I don't really think we are that far off from each other. You might have gotten the impression that a husband only gets sex, is only interested in sex, can only value sex, etc., because that is the subject of this thread and an imortant aspect of the other one.

I agree with you that sex is to be enjoyed by husband and wife. That in it, each is actually there to serve the other, and by that sacrifice of self, intensify the bond between them.

My point here, in this thread, is that for a man, sex is a profoundly powerful physical need. Its emotional component, which does indeed exist for men, is secondary. Men need to have regular, satisfying sexual intercourse. He needs to have the physical need to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] (can I say that here? ) satisfied on a regualr basis, in order to feel at his best physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.

Look at the men who don't have this need satisfied. They are frustrated. We use that word a lot these days because we live in a frustrating world, but think about what it really means. It's the psychological state we find our selves in when we need something essential to our well-being and that need isn't being met. That psychological state of frustration is very uncomfortable.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying men cannort control their sexuality. They certainly can and must. I'm not saying that a man cannot function if he isn't having regular sex. We know that often men are required to perform at their best even though sex, other than masturbation, isn't available to them, i.e. military deployment.

I'm saying God created the male with a very strong need to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]/[bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] on a regular basis (Believe you me, men and boys are taking care of this need constantly. Just look at the multitude of masturbation threads and the issue of porn addiction.) They do this because there is a build up of seminal fluid and sperm, and an increased testosterone level, that is a major physical/mental distraction. The slang term for this is "horny". I won't speak to the needs of women. I'm completely unqualified. I also don't mean to belittle the needs women. Their needs are real too. That's actually why I started the other thread; to give women a chance to tell men what they need and hopefully some guys learned something.

What it comes down to, and every guy knows what I'm talking about here; when a man is getting sex on a regular basis and that physical/mental distraction is quelled, it is much easier for him to take on the responsibilities that God has put on him in this world. That's what I mean when I say "encourage".

I hope this helps.

If you would like to start a thread on how a man can best encourage his wife, please do. I would be interested in the responses.

 

[newyorknewyork]

good point! i completely agree

sure men like sex

but marriage is a relationship argent

My husband would agree that his first need would be sex. But sex without any encouragement and respect would leave him a very unhappy but sexually fulfilled man. Sex is very important but not all there is to marriage.

 

[GutterRat]

Excellent post Argent!! Reps to you! I couldn't have said it better - well - not much better.

As for the OP -

Sex is very encouraging - and I HIGHLY encourage it!

 

[ILoveYeshua]

My point here, in this thread, is that for a man, sex is a profoundly powerful physical need. Its emotional component, which does indeed exist for men, is secondary. Men need to have regular, satisfying sexual intercourse.

Well, men would like to have, "regular, satisfying sexual intercourse". If you consider it a need, try fasting. Then you'll know what "need" is, when you start feeling those hunger pangs. =) Just a side note anyway.

Look at the men who don't have this need satisfied. They are frustrated. We use that word a lot these days because we live in a frustrating world, but think about what it really means. It's the psychological state we find our selves in when we need something essential to our well-being and that need isn't being met. That psychological state of frustration is very uncomfortable.

Jesus didn't have sex and he wasn't frustrated. =) but yes, anyway. sometimes we need to satisfy that frustration with something higher than sex, like, say, worshipping the Father? for those of you frustrated about sex, how much time do you spend a day or even a week worshipping? an hour? more? less? i'd say i spend less, and i feel bad about that. but i've been doing more recently. its satisfying on a level sex can't reach.

in fact, worship is one of the most satisfying experiences a man can engage in. its humbling, grateful, and glorious. anyone can do it, just get on your knees! we always seem to expect our women on their knees , but men should get on their knees too... =)

I'm not saying men cannort control their sexuality. They certainly can and must. I'm not saying that a man cannot function if he isn't having regular sex.

i'm just saying its niiiiiiice =) and if once is good, twice is better. eh?

We know that often men are required to perform at their best even though sex, other than masturbation, isn't available to them, i.e. military deployment.

was that a real sentence? never mind. i dont want to even think about soldiers masturbating. darn it. sigh

I'm saying God created the male with a very strong need to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]/[bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] on a regular basis (Believe you me, men and boys are taking care of this need constantly. Just look at the multitude of masturbation threads and the issue of porn addiction.)

if we worshipped more, we'd wack it less. its like our very own asherah pole. but really, isnt it silly? if youve ever watched yourself in the mirror while wacking it, you know you look ridiculously silly. i know i do! so i stopped. i figure, between God watching me, and the multitude of angels watching me, and there are even demons watching, though they are all invisible, they are still watching. i'd rather spend my time praising Christ than wacking it. but sex was ordained by God as something good for a husband and wife, and it should be engaged in as frequently as possible. the very opportunity to do that act is a gift, and its a gift that should be given often. sex is fun. masturbation is something to do to pass the time. worship is best of all though. next time you're about to wack it, stop, and go worship instead. God'll appreciate it, what do you think?

They do this because there is a build up of seminal fluid and sperm, and an increased testosterone level, that is a major physical/mental distraction.

deadly sperm buildup? i've heard that theory too. heh, i dont buy it, but ive heard of it. its been a while since i've had sex, and i feel fine. maybe some males are gifted with a release valve. yknow sperm gets absorbed back into the body if it doesnt get used right?

i'm enjoying this thread =) its helping me to think through some of these issues. back in august i got dumped from a 6y relationship. so thats all a little fresh in my mind. it was like i was married, so thats why i feel ok posting here even tho im currently single.

The slang term for this is "horny". I won't speak to the needs of women.

what would you say if you did?

I'm completely unqualified. I also don't mean to belittle the needs women. Their needs are real too.

yes, just like they're real people with real feelings that can get hurt. so please, if you wouldn't want someone saying _____ to you, don't say _____ to them. love one another as Christ has loved you. the truth is gentle, not brutal.

forgive my bluntness and hypocrisy. its late, 150am, and im tired. tomorrow will be better... this is a very interesting topic tho and i hope everyone sticks around til we come to some reasonable conclusion

That's actually why I started the other thread; to give women a chance to tell men what they need and hopefully some guys learned something.

guys? learn? hehe. only if we can keep our hands off ourselves for a few minutes.

What it comes down to, and every guy knows what I'm talking about here; when a man is getting sex on a regular basis and that physical/mental distraction is quelled, it is much easier for him to take on the responsibilities that God has put on him in this world. That's what I mean when I say "encourage".

with that, i'd have to agree. when yer gettin laid on a regular basis, thats one less thing you have to worry about and other things do seem easier. you feel like you can conquer the rest of your life if you can feel like a conquerer in the bedroom. i only use that expression loosely. oh i also think that if yer married, you shouldnt be wackin it. it just aint fair to her, especially if she's beggin you for sex.

If you would like to start a thread on how a man can best encourage his wife, please do. I would be interested in the responses.

would you really be? sorry, never mind. its late, i should stop writing now before i say anything else stupid =) gnite all, love in Christ.

 

[Mom to 5]

.i'm enjoying this thread =) its helping me to think through some of these issues. back in august i got dumped from a 6y relationship. so thats all a little fresh in my mind. it was like i was married, so thats why i feel ok posting here even tho im currently single.

The origional poster is single too. . .

 

[seamonster]

Jesus didn't have sex and he wasn't frustrated. =)

And that's where in the Bible?

 

[ILoveYeshua]

which part?

 

[seamonster]

which part?

that Jesus was never frustrated by not having sex

 

[MERCY@GRACE]

He's not dangerous! Physically unfit, yes. Dangerous, no.

He's a sweetie.

He could also have low levels testoserone.