Sex: Entering into this physical union.....

[Argent]

......is the best way a woman can encourage her husband.

Enough said.

 

[Amélie Unbound]

Unless the husband doesn't want it.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Unless the husband doesn't want it.

In that case you have to romance him.

 

[ChristianCowgirl77]

lol! Now that's probably the truest comment I've heard in a while.

 

[Amélie Unbound]

In that case you have to romance him.

Tried that. It doesn't work. It's not that he doesn't want it. It's that he doesn't want it more than once a week, which is frustrating for me. I've tried acting seductive and tried dressing up in sexy lingerie, and nothing happens. It's incredibly humiliating to dress up like that and be rejected, so I won't do that again. We've done lots of talking about it, and he says he finds sex too tiring to do more than once a week. He's very affectionate, likes groping me and stuff on a daily basis, but will only have actual sex once a week.

 

[FaithAlone]

My husband would agree that his first need would be sex. But sex without any encouragement and respect would leave him a very unhappy but sexually fulfilled man. Sex is very important but not all there is to marriage.

 

[c1ners]

......is the best way a woman can encourage her husband.

Enough said.

Wrong. You can't encourage a man with sex. You can have sex with him everyday, but that will not solve any problems. The more we give, the more you guys take, and it doesn't accomplish anything except satisfying your needs. That's a very selfish way of looking at a relationship. I pity your poor wife if she has to act like this all the time.

 

[Argent]

Wrong. You can't encourage a man with sex. You can have sex with him everyday, but that will not solve any problems. The more we give, the more you guys take, and it doesn't accomplish anything except satisfying your needs. That's a very selfish way of looking at a relationship. I pity your poor wife if she has to act like this all the time.

Sister, as much as I symathize with your situation and tribulations, I don't really think you are in much of a position to make judgements about how other's marriages work.

Peace

 

[ILoveYeshua]

Tried that. It doesn't work. It's not that he doesn't want it. It's that he doesn't want it more than once a week, which is frustrating for me.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I've tried acting seductive and tried dressing up in sexy lingerie, and nothing happens. It's incredibly humiliating to dress up like that and be rejected, so I won't do that again. We've done lots of talking about it, and he says he finds sex too tiring to do more than once a week.

... tiring? is he older or out of shape? I'd reccomend you both sign up for yoga classes if you got the money. The strength and flexibility it builds goes well with a plan to improve one's sex life, and it helps give you some extra energy. But don't get into the pagan "yoga philosophy".

He's very affectionate, likes groping me and stuff on a daily basis, but will only have actual sex once a week.

What about stuff like sex, but not exactly sex? As a man, I cant ever see myself turning down a bj or whatever, but i'm young.

My husband would agree that his first need would be sex. But sex without any encouragement and respect would leave him a very unhappy but sexually fulfilled man. Sex is very important but not all there is to marriage.

Cuddling is key. Sex is just the final act in a string of emotional bonding and communication, hopefully. The key is to just open up and allow yourself to be vulnerable, and treat your partner with respect.

Wrong. You can't encourage a man with sex. You can have sex with him everyday, but that will not solve any problems.

You can encourage any animal with that which rewards him. Be it food, sex, or whatever tickles the reward centers of his brain. Think pavlov. If your husband is depressed, sex does help. Maybe he's insecure??? I know thats a problem i have, insecurity, and lots of other males do too. You gotta make him think he's DA MAN, the best hunk o' flesh that God ever put on this earth. But I've never been a female so I know that might not be easy to do.

The more we give, the more you guys take, and it doesn't accomplish anything except satisfying your needs.

Sorry, what's wrong with satisfying someone's needs again? Whatsoever you would have men do unto you, do ye also unto them. Just because someone has needs doesnt make them NEEDY. The only person who can legally meet a husband's sexual needs is his wife.

That's a very selfish way of looking at a relationship. I pity your poor wife if she has to act like this all the time.

You and he are one flesh. When you pleasure him, you are pleasuring yourself. When you make him happy, it should make you happy. To see that joy in his eyes or what have you, should bring you some joy, to know that you have given him that gift of a wonderful experience which flows from the love in your heart for him.



Maybe i'm talkin outta my a** but really, i don't think so. Sex is more than just stick it in and get er done, its a form of communication that only you two can engage in, another way of expressing the love that is overflowing from your heart for your beloved.



Perhaps try reading song of songs... get ya in the romantic mood of giving love. shrugs. good luck, and may God bless you and your spouses.

 

[ILoveYeshua]

Sister, as much as I symathize with your situation and tribulations, I don't really think you are in much of a position to make judgements about how other's marriages work.

was that really necessary?

 

[Amélie Unbound]

... tiring? is he older or out of shape? I'd reccomend you both sign up for yoga classes if you got the money. The strength and flexibility it builds goes well with a plan to improve one's sex life, and it helps give you some extra energy. But don't get into the pagan "yoga philosophy".

He's not old (unless you think 30 is old) but he is out of shape. He's not exactly fat (although he has put on weight since we got married) but he is definitely not fit. He has a very mentally intense job and sits at a desk all day. So his mind is fit but his body isn't. He gets no physical exercise whatsoever. I work out at the gym regularly, but he says he doesn't have the time to work out. I would love to do some kind of exercise together, but he won't do it.

Sigh.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Tried that. It doesn't work. It's not that he doesn't want it. It's that he doesn't want it more than once a week, which is frustrating for me. I've tried acting seductive and tried dressing up in sexy lingerie, and nothing happens. It's incredibly humiliating to dress up like that and be rejected, so I won't do that again. We've done lots of talking about it, and he says he finds sex too tiring to do more than once a week. He's very affectionate, likes groping me and stuff on a daily basis, but will only have actual sex once a week.

Does he have congestive heart failure or something?

 

[Amélie Unbound]

Does he have congestive heart failure or something?

No.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Wrong. You can't encourage a man with sex. You can have sex with him everyday, but that will not solve any problems. The more we give, the more you guys take, and it doesn't accomplish anything except satisfying your needs. That's a very selfish way of looking at a relationship. I pity your poor wife if she has to act like this all the time.

Not all men are your husband C1ners. Sometimes all that is necessary to make a man come round to a woman's way of thinking is sex. Sometimes the opposite is true. Of course if there are serious problems underly the marriage they have to be hashed out before the two people can fully give of themselves without keeping score and engaging in malcontentment.

 

[Autumnleaf]

No.

Working a mentally demanding job on your bottom all day can tire you out if you don't exercise before or after work. I've been there done that. Now I exercise at least 20 meager minutes every morning.

 

[bliz]

......is the best way a woman can encourage her husband.

Enough said.

Translation:

"Sex is the best way for my wife to encourage me."

 

[Cordy]

......is the best way a woman can encourage her husband.

Enough said.

No offence, but that is a rather egocentric comment. Perhaps you feel encouraged that way, but not all men, or women, or any human group, are the same. People feel loved and encouraged in different ways. Sex has different levels of importance for different people. My husband would not feel loved or encouraged simply by this. Sex to him is the result of knowing that things are well between us in other ways. He needs verbal affirmation and quality time for encouragement.

 

[Dim]

Working a mentally demanding job on your bottom all day can tire you out if you don't exercise before or after work. I've been there done that. Now I exercise at least 20 meager minutes every morning.

Isn't it amazing what 20 minutes will do for you though?
I think that's what the guy needs. Excercise.
Sex is great excercise by the way.

 

[Amélie Unbound]

No offence, but that is a rather egocentric comment. Perhaps you feel encouraged that way, but not all men, or women, or any human group, are the same. People feel loved and encouraged in different ways. Sex has different levels of importance for different people. My husband would not feel loved or encouraged simply by this. Sex to him is the result of knowing that things are well between us in other ways. He needs verbal affirmation and quality time for encouragement.

That's a good point. Different people have different needs and are encouraged in different ways.

The whole "Five Love Languages" concept is a good example of that.

 

[GQ Chris]

I have to wait, darn it.