Sex before marriage..

[lawtonfogle]

I think people should wait until they are mature enough to handle any complications that comes with an active sex life. Not wait until marriage. I see a lot of immature 18 and 19 year olds getting married so they can have sex because the church says it's "ok."

So why not get married? Is the emotional burden that much worse following a non-married but sexually intimate relationship verses following a married and sexually intimate relationship?

Personally, it would seem that the most emotional investment, at least for most people, is given in sex. While there is more in marriage, the amount more is insignificant.

 

[moonkitty]

So why not get married? Is the emotional burden that much worse following a non-married but sexually intimate relationship verses following a married and sexually intimate relationship?

Personally, it would seem that the most emotional investment, at least for most people, is given in sex. While there is more in marriage, the amount more is insignificant.

I think if you are not emotionally or financially ready to take care of a baby then you have no business having sex, married or unmarried.

If a person is not emotionally ready for a serious intimate, sexual relationship then they should not be having sex, married or unmarried.

If a person is not able to understand that sex can transmit deadly diseases, that having unprotected sex can mean you are putting your life in the hands of someone else; then they should not be having sex--married or unmarried.

If one is emotionally mature, and understand the risk involved in sex and can handle the possible life changing events that sex can bring (strong emotional attachments, needing to really trust your partner and not just making a booty call, possible pregnancies etc....) then I don't care if they are having sex whether or not they are married.

 

[lawtonfogle]

I think if you are not emotionally or financially ready to take care of a baby then you have no business having sex, married or unmarried.

And if you are emotionally/financially ready to care for a baby, then you are ready for not just sex, but marriage.

If a person is not emotionally ready for a serious intimate, sexual relationship then they should not be having sex, married or unmarried.

If a person is not able to understand that sex can transmit deadly diseases, that having unprotected sex can mean you are putting your life in the hands of someone else; then they should not be having sex--married or unmarried.

If one is emotionally mature, and understand the risk involved in sex and can handle the possible life changing events that sex can bring (strong emotional attachments, needing to really trust your partner and not just making a booty call, possible pregnancies etc....) then I don't care if they are having sex whether or not they are married.

If someone is emotionally/mentally mature enough for sex, what else do they need to be mature enough for marriage?

 

[moonkitty]

And if you are emotionally/financially ready to care for a baby, then you are ready for not just sex, but marriage.


If someone is emotionally/mentally mature enough for sex, what else do they need to be mature enough for marriage?

But they may not want to get married. I don't think marriage should be a requirement for sex. I think the requirement for sex should be maturity.

 

[lawtonfogle]

But they may not want to get married. I don't think marriage should be a requirement for sex. I think the requirement for sex should be maturity.

I'm not saying they have to get married, I am just saying if that if they are mature enough for sex, then aren't they mature enough for marriage (if they want to get married)?

 

[moonkitty]

I'm not saying they have to get married, I am just saying if that if they are mature enough for sex, then aren't they mature enough for marriage (if they want to get married)?

Yes, if one is really and truly mature enough for sex then I believe they are ready for marriage. But on the flip side if one is not mature enough for sex, then I doubt they are mature enough for marriage; but I feel that the church pushes a lot of young, immature people into marriages just so that they can avoid "sexual sins." I think that only makes things worse so that now instead of being immature for a sexual relationship they are also in a marriage they are not ready for either.

 

[lawtonfogle]

Yes, if one is really and truly mature enough for sex then I believe they are ready for marriage. But on the flip side if one is not mature enough for sex, then I doubt they are mature enough for marriage; but I feel that the church pushes a lot of young, immature people into marriages just so that they can avoid "sexual sins." I think that only makes things worse so that now instead of being immature for a sexual relationship they are also in a marriage they are not ready for either.

I guess my issue are with the people who say it is ok to have sex when you are 12 or 14 or 16 (as long as it is with another 12/14/16 year old), but then you are still too immature for marriage. If you are too immature for marriage, as you say, then why aren't you too immature for sex?

Of course, you agree that you are too immature for sex, so my question is really aimed at those who do not.

 

[Eudaimonist]

What is your personal reason for deciding to wait?

I didn't wait for marriage, but I did wait for a loving relationship instead of just getting virginity out of the way like so many of my friends did. I did this for the sake of meaning. I don't regret it.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[WoahThere]

I guess my issue are with the people who say it is ok to have sex when you are 12 or 14 or 16 (as long as it is with another 12/14/16 year old), but then you are still too immature for marriage. If you are too immature for marriage, as you say, then why aren't you too immature for sex?

Of course, you agree that you are too immature for sex, so my question is really aimed at those who do not.

This is why we invented birth control. Birth control FTW!

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

People following rules that are not aligned with biology and natural and healthy desire may indeed cause damage to themselves- either psychologically...

I have never heard of any evidence of anybody's conscious choice to abstain from partner sex outside of marriage causing psychological damage to him/herself.

 

[Penumbra]

I have never heard of any evidence of anybody's conscious choice to abstain from partner sex outside of marriage causing psychological damage to him/herself.

They could begin to view sex as an evil thing or develop an unhealthy obsession with sex.

I'm no psychologist, I'm just theorizing. I'm not insisting that waiting for sex will surely cause problems. I've met people in college with pretty twisted views about sex that have decided to wait.

My point is simply that the human body becomes ready for and generally begins desiring sex over 10 years before the average first marriage occurs in developed countries, and when the concept about waiting for marriage was begun, that was not the case.

I'd probably argue that my entire country's culture has psychological damage when it comes to sex. I'm not talking mental-hospital type damage, just less-than-idea types of behavior or thoughts and such.

-Lyn

 

[3M0_Girl]

So is god against sex outside of marriage?
And if so, will he condemn you for having/had sex outside of marriage?

 

[Rhamiel]

So is god against sex outside of marriage?
And if so, will he condemn you for having/had sex outside of marriage?

all sin leads to seperation from God
do you want any part of your being to be seperate from God? or do you want to love Him with all your mind body and soul?
like, i am not saying you are like this, but some people seem to have this mindset, what is the least i can do and still get into heaven, where we should think, "what is the most we can do to show our love and devotion to God"
no matter what you have done, Christ can forgive you, He loves all of us so very very much
He loves us so much that He wants us to stay away from sin, sins hurt the soul, when He watches us sin it is like us watching someone we love very deeply cutting off their own fingers, think how horrible that would be
But Christ came to heal up the wounds we give ourselves through sin

 

[Rhamiel]

oh and yes, God is agianst sex outside of marriage
not becuase He is trying to control your life, but because He loves you, and does not want you to become a "slave to sin" sin takes away true freedom and is harmful to the soul

 

[lawtonfogle]

This is why we invented birth control. Birth control FTW!

Last I checked, birth control doesn't prevent STDs or emotional/mental damage from having sex while still too immature. Not unless there is some great new stuff out there.

 

[lawtonfogle]

I have never heard of any evidence of anybody's conscious choice to abstain from partner sex outside of marriage causing psychological damage to him/herself.

The choice to abstain is not in and of itself damaging. Often times things that give people the power to abstain from sex also damage them, such as a woman who does not have sex because she hates the very idea of it because she was raped.

Also, those who force celibacy upon themselves when they do not have the gift thereof are going to have major problems.

 

[Eudaimonist]

does not want you to become a "slave to sin" sin takes away true freedom and is harmful to the soul

What does "slave to sin" mean in this context? To what sin? What freedom specifically is being lost? What harm to the soul?


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[Rhamiel]

What does "slave to sin" mean in this context? To what sin? What freedom specifically is being lost? What harm to the soul?


eudaimonia,

Mark

not any specific sin,
like, all sin removes some of our freedom to resist sin
we were created to know and worship God
this is why so many people go through existential crises,
when we do not do what we were made for we feel "hurt" because something is not right, on some leval we know something is missing

 

[Eudaimonist]

not any specific sin,
like, all sin removes some of our freedom to resist sin

But what is so special about sex outside of marriage that it reduces the freedom to resist sin, as opposed to sex inside of marriage?


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[Rhamiel]

But what is so special about sex outside of marriage that it reduces the freedom to resist sin, as opposed to sex inside of marriage?


eudaimonia,

Mark

sex outside of marriage is a sin, sex within the bounds of wedlock is not a sin (well unless it is like rape or something, i just mean like, all things being equal)
Maybe it is about the leval of commitment? like marriage is more then just a peice of paper, it is a deep social norm that has been in every civilization from the begining
but really, I do not know why one is a sin and the other is not