lawtonfogle
My solace my terror, my terror my solace.
The group of people I'm thinking about wouldn't even give you the courtesy of asking first.Um thanks...?
If somebody wants to know if I'm sexually immoral, they can ask what my sexual values are.
As long as they have a vote in the laws I must live by, I give some concern over what their opinions about such things are. If you either don't mind new laws or think the threat from them is zero (or close enough not to concern yourself), more power to you.If they write me off before that, then why would I care about their opinion any more than they do? (they obviously don't, if they don't care if it's informed or not).
If they write me off afterward, that's their right but I'd be really concerned about their sexual morality, in that case.
Ultimately, though--while there are things that can kinda-sorta help, like talking about fantasies and values--my main point is that thinking about sex is different than having it, and compatability should be established before marriage.
I could try to set it out that way, but it would look...odd.
Problem: sexual compatibility is a majorly important part of a marriage, and there is no way to establish that it exists without actually having sex. You can roll dice about how your sex life will turn out, or you can go into marriage informed.
Solution: the only solution is to have sexual experiences with each other, prior to getting married. Not necessarily every sex act you might ever want, but enough to get a sense for each other.
If you really, really don't want to do that, talking about hypotheticals can give you some idea about the other person's values and interests, but it's a poor substitute, given that so much of what happens during sex can't be easily predicted.
edit: I could use the Bible to back up my answer...and you could use the Vedas...but why would either of us do that?
Well, being a Christian forum, even when you are in a secular subsection, many viewers are likely to put some weight in the Bible. I was thinking your question poses a really big problem for the 'no sex before marriage crowd', and what I originally put was my first reaction to attempting to get the 'no sex before marriage' crowd to even pay attention to the problem.
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