Sex Before Marriage

[SPALATIN]

it is possible to overcome anything with or WITHOUT god

Exactly what do you mean by anything? Anything could be good or evil.

The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." With God, All things are possible.

 

[Soldier_For_Christ]

darkfiredance, If you want my opinion, then I am afraid that what you did was wrong. It was your decision, yes, but God says in the Bible that the sex before marriage is wrong, so that is what I will base this post on. There have always been consequences to premarital sex. Someone who posted said that your heart cannot mislead you and that since you followed it, you must be right. I am afraid I must disagree. The reason to that is everyone's mind and heart have been corrupted to it and thus cannot really be trusted (I know from personal experience with temporary crushes on people that your heart can lie to you). I must warn you that you might regret what you did.

I have no advice on what to do from here, but I feel that you do. No matter what you, may you make a Godly and holy decision.

God Bless you!

 

[LilRitt04]

i think you have to really step back now at this point and realize what you did, and do everything you can do to fix it. you obviously cant "re-virginize" yourself. but if you repent God casts what you did into the sea of forgetfullness, he doesnt remember what you did. that is the great thing about God. he forgets about it...at this point if you are coming to a christian forums to ask a bunch of christians what we think about it, then you obviously feel bad about it, and want to figure out a way for forgive yourself and have God forgive you.
God is going to forgive you, he forgave me...he will to you to. once you repent you need to lay it at the cross, and dont look back. if you look back its going to be like you are picking that load up again. its going to be hard to let it go, but you have to if you want to forget about it.

 

[TLC4God]

sex befor you get married is wrong and you are giveing something away that you can't take back so befor you do you need to pray and read the Word and think and talk to God ok.

 

[Soldier_For_Christ]

The Amazing thing is, firedance, that despite the fact that you have sinned against him and have betrayed your future husband, God is still merciful and can give back to you what you recklessly gave away.

This doesn't mean your a virgin again necessarily, but your love and body is like a rose. When you sleep w/ them, you give your whole rose to them, whether or not your realize it. But, when you repent for your sin and find your true husband, it's almost like God gives you another flower to give away to the one that should have gotten the first one.

It is just another example of God's mercy.

 

[LilRitt04]

SEX B4 MARRIAGE IS NOT BAD IN(as long as its legal) sex b4 marriage is vital to know if ur "compatible" wit ur partner

i totally disagree with you. i think that if it is meant to be between two people then they are obviously meant to have sex. i think sex before marriage is wrong. i have done it and it ruined my relationship and we broke up, obviously it wasnt meant to be but i felt convicted and dirty for it. when a women and a man have sex it is causing them to lust and committ adultery. which is a sin...so therefore not only are you not keeping your body pure your are committing adultery, and lust.

1 Corinthians 6:18 "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."

Colossians 3:5 " Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry."

1 Thessalonians 4:3 "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;"

Hebrews 13:4 "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;"

Read those verses and tell me that sex before marriage is right

 

[luc]

so noone should be allowed to do it becuz u couldnt handle it?

 

[monkey_moocow]

i dunno wat to do. I have been going to church for years, and have been with my gf for a while, the other day we had sex, I felt so guilty i didnt want to do it but she did not make me i dunno why i did. I stoped soon after starting. The thing is, i have not been to church for a while and feel my faith is lacking and am feeling very guilty and feel like i have let my parents god and myself down. I dont know who to tlk to. Or where to turn. I need some help i feel like crying now.

 

[Deb7777]

i dunno wat to do. I have been going to church for years, and have been with my gf for a while, the other day we had sex, I felt so guilty i didnt want to do it but she did not make me i dunno why i did. I stoped soon after starting. The thing is, i have not been to church for a while and feel my faith is lacking and am feeling very guilty and feel like i have let my parents god and myself down. I dont know who to tlk to. Or where to turn. I need some help i feel like crying now.

Hi brother, welcome, I would love for you to get a few more responses if you create your own thread you might find it consoling. Don't let the devil beat you up, you know you made a mistake, now get back on track with Jesus and the Church. Your conscience is alive and well and is showing you to trust in God in his gifts of love. Jesus truly knows the way to fulfillment so don't settle for less, start today to put his wisdom and love to work in your life. Let it be your guide and never, ever get discourage. If we fall the Lord is the first one to help us up, of course, he does not want us to fall and learn the hard way for sin is never enriching, but he is the Doctor of our hearts and souls, go to the great physician, God bless.

 

[GeorgeB]

Well we are brought up in the Christian world that you should save yourself until your wedding night. However most people definiately do not practice ths. It is not neccesarily an unforgiveable sin but a sin none the less. Just ask yourself why you wanted to have sex.

As far as slipping away from God. What is making you do that? Once you have the answer to that question than I suggest you definiately change it.

 

[spinto]

Alright, here is my deal. I have been dating this guy for over a year, and not too long ago, I lost my virginity to him. I was alway raised to the thought in which this was terribly wrong, but when it came to talking about, deciding it, and being put into the situation, I felt as if it was okay. It was as if the only thing making me scared and holding me back was how I was trained to think about it. My dad has also given me a promise ring, in which now I have broken, I feel bad about this yes, but in a way I don't. I love this man, and I felt as though I can show it through this. Is that so wrong? Is it really an umforgiveable sin? I feel bad and yet I do not feel bad at all. I feel good in some way, like I was to rebel and I want to do my own thing. I don't know what to think, I can not talk to him because he is not a christian, and well frankly does not know anything about what I've been brought up like. Right now I've been traveling through a tough time with God, and I've kind of given up, maybe its my way of showing, but I know I might regret this, or maybe I won't, maybe we will get married, I don't know. I just want thoughts, and answers, and opinions on this if its not too much trouble, I am very troubled by this at times, and it does not help dealing with depression and other issues on top of things. What do you all think, and feel personally, and in my situation.

There is nothing wrong with having sex before marriage. If the two of you care for eachother, and you are safe, sex can be wonderful and fulfilling. It has been my experience that my, albeit few, previous sexual relationships actually prepared me for a lasting monogamous relationship. It really helped to experience the emotions stirred up when you share your body with someone. And, it also really helped me to see that I was OK even when those other relationships ended. Simply put, it's part of life.

Biblically, well it's frowned upon. But, I'm not in agreement with Christianity. I'm sure there will be plenty representatives giving you that perspective here.

The promise ring from your dad stuck me a little odd. I mean, your sex life (ummm taking into consideration that you are a legal adult) is none of your dad's business. You are not married to your dad, so in my opinon, he has no right to ask such a personal promise from you.

From what I can see, from what you said, it seems your struggle with depression is more of the root issue. Not really so much that you have had sex and are now feeling guilty about it... I think your emotional sensitivites are creating a conflicting and complicated situation out of something that really doesn't need to be. Believe me I know... I have struggled with mild depression and anxiety. My mind has to always be busy or my thoughts will begin to wonder and my moods will become a little irregular. It is not a huge problem for me but, it is an aspect of my emotional personality. And one thing that I have learned, is that if you spend too much idol time dwelling on what could be WRONG, you often miss what is RIGHT. You must learn emotional and mental discipline. Here it seems you are dwelling on what could be wrong with you enjoying sex with someone you care about outside of marriage. Instead, you should be occupied with enjoying the relationship that is between only you and this guy. Because that is really what is in play here. Not what OTHER PEOPLE THINK.

 

[Johnnz]

The Christian position is quite clear, in spite of what some may say. Sex rightfully belongs to marraige.

However, it is not an unforgivable matter, although it is not without some real consequences either. Time will tell.

To confuse a feeling of love, real as it is, with love that involves comittement whatever is to have a basis that can turn out to be transient instread of the real thing. Also, sex is very pleasant, intimate and assuring. Consequently, it is very easy to see those feelings as love.

John
NZ

 

[spinto]

The Christian position is quite clear, in spite of what some may say. Sex rightfully belongs to marraige.

I think commitment rightfully belongs to a marriage.

However, it is not an unforgivable matter, although it is not without some real consequences either. Time will tell.

To confuse a feeling of love, real as it is, with love that involves comittement whatever is to have a basis that can turn out to be transient instread of the real thing. Also, sex is very pleasant, intimate and assuring. Consequently, it is very easy to see those feelings as love.

John
NZ

Being a older gentleman with life experience, I am amazed that you cannot see that it's normal for relationships to be transient in someones life until one sticks... that is just part of living. If you are going to wait for the ONE AND ONLY to come along, you'll never get out there and meet him/her in the first place. I feel there is a balance. No, I don't think in order to find love, you need to put your body out there like a free for all. That would be a little irrisponsible and rediculas. But if you are too closed to inviting someone you care to be intimate with you, you won't be able to see if that is really were you want that relationship to go. Cause it is true, sex changes a relationship. The fact is, sometimes is changes it for the better, and sometimes it does not. And really, wouldn't you like to know if it changes for the worse BEFORE marriage?

I would, and I did. I have a successful strong marriage, years in the making already.

And love takes many forms. Sometimes people go through several loves before one comes along that naturally works for a lifetime. But that just adds to the fabric fo someone's life.

 

[Johnnz]

Being a older gentleman with life experience, I am amazed that you cannot see that it's normal for relationships to be transient in someones life until one sticks... that is just part of living. If you are going to wait for the ONE AND ONLY to come along, you'll never get out there and meet him/her in the first place. I feel there is a balance. No, I don't think in order to find love, you need to put your body out there like a free for all. That would be a little irrisponsible and rediculas. But if you are too closed to inviting someone you care to be intimate with you, you won't be able to see if that is really were you want that relationship to go. Cause it is true, sex changes a relationship. The fact is, sometimes is changes it for the better, and sometimes it does not. And really, wouldn't you like to know if it changes for the worse BEFORE marriage?

I can accept that relationships can be transient. That's why care is needed before comittment. But that does not necessitate sexual activity prior to comittment.

Within a lifelong relationship sex takes many forms and functions, born of that experience. There are some pretty ordinary times in relationships, and times of very ordinary, barely satisfying sex apart from physical release. To judge a relationship on those times would be inadequate. You work at issues and experience times of renewal made all the more meaningful and satistfying by your new discoveries of each other.

Several relationships in 24 years. You have no idea of what a long term relationship means yet.

I do agree that just sitting around piously hoping for that right person to turn up is silly. But developing relationships from which that special one can be discovered does not need to invlove sex. Any two people with healthy attitudes and some imagination will soon learn how to make good sex.

John
NZ

 

[Deb7777]

Hi Sister, Jesus needs you to be a light to the world in leading people to the Kingdom. You need to take up your cross and follow Christ, glorifying him and his commands so people will not be judged as unworthy to inherit his Kingdom. Jesus says, how many will choose the easy path of serving themselves rather than serving God. He tells us how he will separate the goats from the sheeps, when Mary appeared at Fatima to the three children she told them more souls go to hell for the sins of the flesh than any other sin. I completely agree, the sins of the flesh will be the loss of heaven for many, that is just the sad truth friend. So weigh your options and see if its worth it. Love for the Lord should be first but the fear of hell has saved many a soul from continuing on a deadly path. I say to you get to know Jesus who is the most amazing person you will be blest to have part of your life, God bless.

 

[spinto]

I can accept that relationships can be transient. That's why care is needed before comittment. But that does not necessitate sexual activity prior to comittment.

Well, this is where I think you and I would disagree due to our different ways of looking at life. But certainly, in order for "anyone" to find a good relationship, that does not automatically mean you've HAD to had sex previously. I just feel that way for myself.

Within a lifelong relationship sex takes many forms and functions, born of that experience. There are some pretty ordinary times in relationships, and times of very ordinary, barely satisfying sex apart from physical release. To judge a relationship on those times would be inadequate. You work at issues and experience times of renewal made all the more meaningful and satistfying by your new discoveries of each other.

Ha! This I completely agree with! That is what I feel is the beauty of finding someone to spend your life with.

Several relationships in 24 years. You have no idea of what a long term relationship means yet.

Well, I personally have not had too many "relationships" in my past. I've gone "steady" with a couple of people and then dated other people. I've had sex before marriage and so did my spouce. And it seemed to bring us to a more experienced place when we came upon eachother. We just felt ready for eachother and we made very good decisions that helped us connect. It does seem, by talking to different people, that many people go through several relationships in their life before finding one that fits.

I feel I was actually lucky. I was 19 when I got married. I think my personality and the personality of my spouce is just conducive to being in a relationship. My spouce and I have been together for 5 years now. That is already longer than many marriages last these days--especially considering how young we were when we made the commitment to eachother. While I agree that 5 years is a blurp in the span of a lifetime, I do feel that my spouce and I are in a life long relationship. As we get older and embark on life, it is indeed an adventure that we are happy to take together. And whatever that "means" for us, we will learn in our own time, as our time comes. So I disagree, we do know what a long term relationship means. We also know what marriage means. What we don't know, is what 20 years of marriage "feels like". And that will come when we get there.

I do agree that just sitting around piously hoping for that right person to turn up is silly. But developing relationships from which that special one can be discovered does not need to invlove sex. Any two people with healthy attitudes and some imagination will soon learn how to make good sex.

John
NZ

What can I say? Different strokes for different folks. Thanks for your perspective. It was a nice discussion.

 

[Hollyoz]

Alright, here is my deal. I have been dating this guy for over a year, and not too long ago, I lost my virginity to him. I was alway raised to the thought in which this was terribly wrong, but when it came to talking about, deciding it, and being put into the situation, I felt as if it was okay. It was as if the only thing making me scared and holding me back was how I was trained to think about it. My dad has also given me a promise ring, in which now I have broken, I feel bad about this yes, but in a way I don't. I love this man, and I felt as though I can show it through this. Is that so wrong? Is it really an umforgiveable sin? I feel bad and yet I do not feel bad at all. I feel good in some way, like I was to rebel and I want to do my own thing. I don't know what to think, I can not talk to him because he is not a christian, and well frankly does not know anything about what I've been brought up like. Right now I've been traveling through a tough time with God, and I've kind of given up, maybe its my way of showing, but I know I might regret this, or maybe I won't, maybe we will get married, I don't know. I just want thoughts, and answers, and opinions on this if its not too much trouble, I am very troubled by this at times, and it does not help dealing with depression and other issues on top of things. What do you all think, and feel personally, and in my situation.

You know, I've been where you are. When I walked away from God in university, I was dating a guy who was not a Christian and I let him drag me down. We dated for a year, and it was a sexual relationship after being together for two months. We didn't have sex frequently, but it still did a lot of damage to me. We lived together for a short time, and when he was treating me badly I had a one night stand with his friend. Now I have a child and she has only one parent. I thank God for that because both those guys were trouble and abusive in different ways. Now I pray that the Lord blesses me with a husband who will love my child as his own and will adopt her. Trust me, this is not something that you want to do. I thought I loved the first guy I slept with, but really I just loved being with somebody. Commit yourself back to God and follow Him down the narrow path.

 

[ascribe2thelord]

If you call yourself a Christian and yet do not believe scripture as accurate, what do you base your faith on then?

Um, this guy's faith icon shows that he is a Bhuddist.

 

[Rorschach]

Um, this guy's faith icon shows that he is a Bhuddist.

What are you talking about? It shows that he's Protestant