Severe panic attacks & co dependency

[Crystalp8]

these are some things I’ve been battling with for a while now. Ive been diagnosed with severe depression,anxiety disorder,panic attacks & I go this week to get tested for ptsd. Ive been through a horrible past 2 years (I’ll share if nobodies read my story). The events have left me terrified of life & living almost. As a single Christian woman,i pray & do my best to lay it at the cross. Im scared of being alone. Even having my own place & being there alone. Im scared I’ll never find a husband & die alone. Im afraid of being a burden to anyone that helps me. Ive been told by doctors about the chemical imbalances in my brain & all the traumatic things that happened to me that has sent me spiraling downhill,seeming,with no hope without medication.

I guess my question is (especially for women)..has any of you had to deal with co dependency & being single & having severe panic attacks? Ive read so much “self-help” material & it all starts running together after awhile. But I know my “issues” are more than medical & due to mental illness. Ive always been told when you try to live right,the enemy attacks. When I’m in the height of my attacks,I call on the lord. I believe his word but it doesn’t make the panic stop immediately. Is anyone out there who struggles with this also? Please pray for me & my mind. For god to give me physical & mental & spiritual strength to help eventually overcome this

 

[faroukfarouk]

these are some things I’ve been battling with for a while now. Ive been diagnosed with severe depression,anxiety disorder,panic attacks & I go this week to get tested for ptsd. Ive been through a horrible past 2 years (I’ll share if nobodies read my story). The events have left me terrified of life & living almost. As a single Christian woman,i pray & do my best to lay it at the cross. Im scared of being alone. Even having my own place & being there alone. Im scared I’ll never find a husband & die alone. Im afraid of being a burden to anyone that helps me. Ive been told by doctors about the chemical imbalances in my brain & all the traumatic things that happened to me that has sent me spiraling downhill,seeming,with no hope without medication.

I guess my question is (especially for women)..has any of you had to deal with co dependency & being single & having severe panic attacks? Ive read so much “self-help” material & it all starts running together after awhile. But I know my “issues” are more than medical & due to mental illness. Ive always been told when you try to live right,the enemy attacks. When I’m in the height of my attacks,I call on the lord. I believe his word but it doesn’t make the panic stop immediately. Is anyone out there who struggles with this also? Please pray for me & my mind. For god to give me physical & mental & spiritual strength to help eventually overcome this

As well as medical advice maybe, it's good for the believer to keep looking up (Hebrews 12.2). John 14.1-27 and Psalm 46 are strengthening passages for the believer.

 

[com7fy8]

I read things you shared in your thread in our "General Mental Health" forum . . . where

Get into the Scriptures. Get closer to Christ. Pray, study, take care of your soul.

This is good and basic.

And I would say do not feed on however you have failed to get somewhere. All of us have failed in different ways; we all need more with God. We all need to do what you need to do

Start fresh, now, as well as God blesses you to. Do not let your past decide how you are now. But do learn what you can from it, so you do not keep on in your own ways which can help to cause more trouble, again and again.

 

[com7fy8]

In the mental health section,

In October,I met a really funny & great guy named Jamie. It took me a lil bit to warm up to him but soon I loved him. Was in love with him.

This was after you split from your husband.

I love this man. I would have done anything for this man. On my life! But he beat me several times. Once in front of his 12 year old son. But I loved him. He was talking to his ex wife & ex girlfriend behind my back. He's a meth head come to find out & so we're they. So we split & I got an order of protection against him. Him & his ex girlfriend he moved in when I left would make fake Facebook profiles & harass me. His sister has harassed me. I had to go to court over the no contact charge. He stared at me the whole time shaking his head. Keep in mind Jamie is a convicted felon & still on fellony probation for pulling a gun on someone. He says I've slandared him online. But when people ask me what happened,I told them the truth.

This sounds like what can happen, if you get charmed together with a sociopath. The person knows how to play people. The sad thing is the person is using intelligence and smart talk and charm to get somewhere to use people, because he or she does not know how to love and to gain all the good which we can have with God in His love. So, the person is using what is very inferior to get what is very inferior!

So, Gracia has given you a very good word, about how it is good to feed on your Bible, trusting God to do all His word guarantees that He desires to share with us, so better than all which selfish and worldly people seek.

It is well known how serial predators and sociopaths and abusers can readily gain the trust of their victims. Why? My opinion is they can quickly make you feel good, so your pleasure juices are flowing. And people want pleasure; the promise of pleasure charms them to trust even very dangerous people.

So we need to get wise to how we can be charmed, and learn how to evaluate someone's real nature. All of us, like I say, need to do this, Crystal. My opinion is that not only sociopaths, but all of us have somehow used the "you can use me" act, in order to get with someone we have wanted to use for what we want > we have used show of intelligence and smart talk, in order to show people that they can trust us to be smart enough to understand and do what they want; and we have used charm and nice looks so we can fool them into thinking we will be nice about giving them what they think they can use us to get.

But then comes the struggling to get what each one wants. And then come the divorces, said to be as many for Christians as for non-Christians.

But God's love does not have us just using anyone, or controlling and possessing anyone. And His love frees us so we can be intimate, but while loving any and all people > "For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" Jesus Himself says in Matthew 5:46. I think co-dependency can be a way of tangling and struggling with someone you hope to use and control and possess . . . while both of you are not being submissive to God and in mutual and tender submission to each other >

"submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21)

God's way of relating is guaranteed to work. So, read the Bible and feed on however God's word can help us to get wise to our own ways which have us mainly being about our own selves and getting what we want, and feed on how the Scriptures can help us to discover how to relate in love. All God's word can somehow apply to this, directly or indirectly, Crystal.

And find out who is a good example who helps you with this, someone who is really getting to know you and is not somehow steering to use you. You say your grandmother has helped you to know the scriptures. But we need to know love, so we can tell when it is not there.

Co-dependent relating is not God's way of love. So, you have already shown you have some understanding, even based in Scripture, about this >

I'm mourning the death of who I thought he was. Who I built him up in my mind to be. I feel like I'm learning from all this that a relationship with someone can be an idol. We can loose sight of God & place a human relationship above one with God. The Bible says he's a jealous god. And we shall not have any idols & whatnot before him. Is this the lesson he's trying to teach me? I've asked the Lord to help me listen when he's speaking & for wisdom to understand. I'll admit,I'm afraid of being alone. I love to love a special someone,but I'm coming to realize I need to seek GOD first & not look for a relationship to validate my worth in him or anything else.

And this is so impossible, isn't it? Because not a one of us humans, Crystal, is able to get our own selves to do this. And . . . by the way . . . no legal or illegal substance will do this, to be sure

Jesus cares about you more than anyone, and He does understand you and all of us; so Jesus says >

"The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." (in Luke 18:27)

In case what I have offered is helpful for you, I can offer more. But you need real example people in your real life . . . people who can see through you and help you. Possibly, your grandmother is one of these. But knowing the Bible is not all there is to it. We need people who are mature examples.

 

[Crystalp8]

Very true. Im just tired of living with this mental health thing. Ive got rock bottom & pray harder now than ever in this valley. I feel so helpless & alone,no matter what I do. I often let the fear paralyze me. But I pray for strength & wisdom. I never want to be in this place again!! I pray for discernment too so next time I can use godly wisdom to make the right choices. Just please pray for me?

 

[Little Lantern]

“Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 KJV)

 

[Kit Sigmon]

these are some things I’ve been battling with for a while now. Ive been diagnosed with severe depression,anxiety disorder,panic attacks & I go this week to get tested for ptsd. Ive been through a horrible past 2 years (I’ll share if nobodies read my story). The events have left me terrified of life & living almost. As a single Christian woman,i pray & do my best to lay it at the cross. Im scared of being alone. Even having my own place & being there alone. Im scared I’ll never find a husband & die alone. Im afraid of being a burden to anyone that helps me.

“You are not a burden.
You HAVE a burden, which by definition is too heavy to carry on your own.”

Get connected with mature believers, prayer warriors and mentors where
you live. WE believers make up the body of Christ ...the church. We are to
be in fellowship with other believers regularly...praying, learning, teaching, worshiping God etc...taking part in real fellowship...koinonia.


Ive been told by doctors about the chemical imbalances in my brain & all the traumatic things that happened to me that has sent me spiraling downhill,seeming,with no hope without medication.

Bible Gateway passage: Romans 15:13-15 - 1599 Geneva Bible

God is our hope, cling to Him daily.

I guess my question is (especially for women)..has any of you had to deal with co dependency & being single & having severe panic attacks? Ive read so much “self-help” material & it all starts running together after awhile. But I know my “issues” are more than medical & due to mental illness. Ive always been told when you try to live right,the enemy attacks. When I’m in the height of my attacks,I call on the lord. I believe his word but it doesn’t make the panic stop immediately. Is anyone out there who struggles with this also? Please pray for me & my mind. For god to give me physical & mental & spiritual strength to help eventually overcome this[/QUOTE]

Been there... but it's through all that I learned I hadn't really trusted in God at all...I was trusting in my husband(first marriage.)

This is long and so I don't often share it all in one thread, but I hope I got it
typed out right and it may be an encouragement to you crystalp8.

Inwardly, I really relied upon my husband and his good job, my friends... not God.
My first marriage was to an unsaved man.
All his promises turned out to be lies but he said he was happy to dwell with me, later on I found that meant, he could live as he pleased and in the midst of the sixth year of marriage he packed up his belongings and moved in with his girlfriend...he schemed and got a secret job that paid in cash, since he had no job or noted income, all the bills were sent to me...I was up to my eyeballs in debt and he was living it up with his girlfriend and soon to be: new wife following the supersonic no fault divorce.
He and his girlfriend had zero problem getting married the same day our divorce was finalized.

I'd built my hopes on sinking sand...everything crashed around me, bill collectors came after me from all sides, our friends sided with my ex and I was to learn he'd told them hideous lies about me and my ailing mom(who lived with us).
You see, If it hadn't of been for my mom moving in and living with us during the marriage, I'd of ended up with nothing since he used all his paychecks to party and run around with other women.
It took all my salary and half of my mom's pension to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, and pay bills.

Finding out the truth...It was during the third month of marriage I'd come home to discover we were about to be foreclosed on and that the regular monthly bills hadn't been paid either...it seems my husband had thrown away all the bills and I'd lived believing the lie that he'd told about not having any debt and that I didn't have to work unless I wanted to...I'd decided to work part time though and fortunately for me when things came unraveled, I was able to get full time work through the same health care agency.

My husband refused to pay a thing, he kept spending his paycheck on the things
he liked...so I got my mom to come live in our home, she was retired, ill but not
needing full care...she could still do light tasks and she would happily help to keep me from homelessness.
My husband, when he did come home usually got in around or
just after midnight even though his job ended at 4 pm and was close to home...this was was standard behavior after I found out about him not paying the bills, it was like he figured why hide what I do? so he started being very open about his partying and chasing women and when I threatened to live he'd end the relationships and partying (not really though) he do it on the sly...I found this out later on also.
No, I didn't follow him about because I was busy working and paying over due bills and paying the ones currently due as well. I learned the truth from the very
woman he ended up marrying, she showed me their photo album with photos
of them together at various holidays over the years, parties with their friends,
the different cars and stuff he'd had...so yes, I know about being made sick to
my stomach over the ungodliness of my own husband...nothing he promised
or vowed was for real, his life with me was a false and he'd told his girlfriend
all my personal information...so nothing was sacred our marriage vows meant
nothing to him whatsoever.
All he wanted to do was con me and ruin my credit so he could have stuff and
once my credit was throughly trashed and bank accounts was emptied he was done playing nice to me... he flaunted his girlfriend and spent our
money on her behind my back while I was working seven days to the week to
keep bills paid since he wouldn't tend to his own home and bills.

With no firm foundation, my thoughts and emotions was like a roller coaster and I thought of God as a distant neighbor...so fears arose, anxieties increased as money was flying out the door as fast as I could earn it, because of the enormous debt that'd built up for near three months and then I found out I would have to pay everything up one month in advance...panic struck and I was running around from creditor to creditor begging for leniency, it was so humiliating!
All the while I'm seeing my husband riding around in style with his friends and them gloating...and all my business was out in the street because my husband put it there.

Panic attacks came, depression etc and my doctor put me on meds for all that.
It was horrid, then I was falling asleep at work, struggling to keep alert while driving etc...
I had no time to take off from work, I had to work...nobody was there to help me financially except my mom and she was doing all she could do... as I worked seven days a week for a very long time.

My mom is be a woman of God and she's praying for me night and day...
I know this cause she prays aloud for me to hear since i was estranged from God.
Her prayers lead me back to the Lord and to church again, admitting I was wrong was the hardest thing because I'd swallowed the worldly "love conquers all doctrine" and had trusted it instead of God's Word.
Love hadn't conquered my unsaved former husband, he put up a good pretense for a time but his real self came out and stayed.
He had no problem acting like he was a "seeker", he had no problem lying to me for years, and putting on false repentances... the thing is, believe it or not,
I was like him and that truth HURT me greatly.
What I'd done secretly, was being done right before my very eyes!

How was I like my first husband? well now, I had sat under godly preaching and teaching but hadn't actually accepted it and let it sink down into my inward most parts and hadn't actually applied God's Word in my life.
I acted like a christian but was going about with worldly friends and doing like they were.
There were my own lies, I said I loved God's Word but wasn't living like I loved and believed God's Word... I was valuing worldly friends and their doctrines, I was dating unsaved guys and crossing the line into inappropriate behaviors...of course I'd repent of that on Sundays all the while knowing that I'd go right back to doing the same thing... followed by more fake repentances.
Admitting the truth about myself didn't come easy.
I felt ashamed and unworthy to turn back to God and to attend church, the devil had his hooks in me but the Lord be stronger and when I cried out in real brokenness the Lord delivered me from all my troubles..real repentance at last...putting in to practice the Word of God in my life each day. Learning to forgive others and stop holding grudges and avenging, separating from ungodly friends etc...it seems all that was recent but it was back in the 1990's.

My first marriage ended and my ex married his affair as quickly as he could...I didn't prevent it, because there was nothing to fight for, he refused marriage counseling and refused to give up his girlfriend (who he was then living with) and he'd never helped pay the bills but he sure made lots of promises to do that but it didn't happen the entire time we were married.

No my first marriage wasn't pretty, the divorce be ugly but it did open my eyes to the fact that I wasn't living as a young woman of God should be living before I even got married the first time and I'm thankful to God for the prayers of my mother who never gave up on her wayward daughter and that she continued speaking godly things into my life even though I didn't want to hear it back then.

I'm Thankful for the Lord's forgiveness and for His corrections...because I was stiff-necked and disobedient.
Renewed life in the Lord, brought deliverance from the meds for depression and panic attacks, new godly friendships...not so new actually, those people had been there all along, sadly I couldn't "see" them for the treasures that they are and still be...Oh, the treasures in earthen vessels!

I'd go onto marry a godly man and find a new home out of state in 2002, there would still be trials but the Lord is with us through it all, and bad things still happen but we aren't crushed asunder, we stand firm in the Lord, in His full armor... that is the spiritual armor of: steadfastness of faith, holding to, applying and renewing our minds on The Word of God daily.

Most of all, learning I was never alone, the Lord be with me through all that mess...those godly people I didn't appreciate, were being His mouthpiece...I came to appreciate them later on...just like I came to appreciate the prayers and godly encouragement that came from my mother and from other people.

Now when I look back I can see the Lord's hidden hand in all those circumstances and praise Him for all that He's done and is doing not only in my life but in the lives of other people also.

Our God is faithful...and true, never will He leave us...amen!