Separated and Unsure

[NicelyAged]

Hey NoName

You're in a tough situation no doubt.

First, a couple of comments on marriage counselling. Marriage couselling can be helpful depending on the issue. For example, you get a killer job offer with a major raise in another state but your wife doesn't want to move. Seeing a counsellor about something like this can help a couple sort through making a decision.

However, if you're seeing a counsellor because your marriage is on the rocks, there's little a counsellor can do because at least one in the couple is already mentally and emotionally out of the marriage. If you do see a counsellor, you'll most likely be paying someone to do little more than just listen and validate. But, you can give it a shot if she's willing.

It sounds like you're more or less separated for the moment. I'd suggest take a break from each other and give her some time to sort things out. Don't know what the outcome will be, but if you lay low for a bit, you'll likely find out soon.

Good Luck!

 

[Autumnleaf]

To answer you questions we do not have children and what I want is to Honor my marriage vows. I love my wife and believe in my heart that I have done all I can to prove that to her (she agrees with me as well). She told me this past weekend that she needs to be selfish right now and think about herself and sort out the feelings she is having. I reassured her that I love her and that I am willing to wait as long as necessary. She does not want me to come home. She has said that she needs this time away from me to decide what she wants. As much as I want to go home I feel I have no choice but to be respectful of her wishes. I know that I do not have any real proof that she is being unfaithful but I can't help but notice that all the signs are there. She is totally detached from me emotionally. She hid her cell phone the whole time I was there this weekend (I didn't ask her about it) but this is definately uncharacteristic of her. She also wanted nothing to do with me physically, she said she could not even kiss me which again I respected her wishes. She said that she ate to much on thanksgiving and immediately went to lie down after dinner at her parents house and didn't wake up until it was time to go. She has told me that she feels guilty for putting me through this and that she feels God thinks she should let me go to spare me any pain to which I responded that I don't think God would say that. The only thing I am unsure of is the why all of a sudden she feels this way. All this uncertainty has created such havoc in my life that is what I am unsure over. Any suggestions?

You are letting her drift... a w a y . . .

 

[NicelyAged]

"You are letting her drift... a w a y . . ."


** Sounds to me like she's already checked out.