Self vanity

[MehGuy]

Anyone else experience something I like to call "self vanity". Where you refuse to wear nice clothes because you think you do not deserve it because of your physical reasons? Or the feelings of being ashamed of certain people being nice to you because you think they should have higher standards?

I experience this quite a lot. Anyone else the same?

 

[scraparcs]

Yes, but I'm working on me.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Nope..

 

[MehGuy]

Lol on second thought I don't think I picked the best thread title lol. Eh maybe I did who knows? I'm not the best with word usage.

Well it's nice to hear I'm not the only one, though strangely I will still be very defensive towards a person who I feel think they are better than me and defiantly when they try to announce it. And the self vanity thing isn't so much a pity or depressive emotional feeling, but more along the lines of honor or something.

 

[HotRhymez]

I don't understand the OP....

I don't wear fancy clothes......most of the time I walk around in my boxers and a white T-shirt with a huge Mountain Dew Stain on it..

(Lol, just kidding. But seriously, I don't wear anything fancy. Unless I'm going to wedding. Or a funeral. Or some sort of party where there's more than three people.)

 

[MarisCrane]

This sort of topic always gets my back-up.

I don't think the distinction between being vain and... whatever the opposite of vain, is as simple as just determing that if you're in premium denim, you are, and if you're wearing jeans from Wally World you're not.

A woman can enjoy putting a lot of time into her looks when she feels like it, but I don't think it nessecarily makes her vain. If she can't be seen ever without her 'face' on, that's a problem. But I don't think if woman spends upwards of 10 minutes on her appearance, that nessecarily makes her vain either.

*shrugs.* I don't know if that's the intent of the post, but the idea of vanity being based sorely on expensive clothes, or time spent in a given day on beauty and skincare, bothers me.

 

[MehGuy]

This thread is more about feeling like you are not good enough for that nice looking coat or something, because you feel like you are just dressing up a piece of crap and you are like over stepping your boundaries.

And like having disgust when some people who you feel are "higher" or at least as far as they know should think that talk and be friendly towards you makes you feel disgust, and not necessarily in a depressive way.

 

[HotRhymez]

This thread is more about feeling like you are not good enough for that nice looking coat or something, because you feel like you are just dressing up a piece of crap and you are like over stepping your boundaries.

And like having disgust when some people who you feel are "higher" or at least as far as they know should think that talk and be friendly towards you makes you feel disgust, and not necessarily in a depressive way.

Most complicated thread EVAR.

Uh..I just wear regular street clothes...

Can we talk about sports or something now lol?

 

[MehGuy]

Most complicated thread EVAR.

Uh..I just wear regular street clothes...

Can we talk about sports or something now lol?

Sigh whatever, some other people seemed to get it. I'm not the best at explaining my thoughts.

No.. we're not gonna talk about sports...

 

[MyEverything]

Sigh whatever, some other people seemed to get it. I'm not the best at explaining my thoughts.

No.. we're not gonna talk about sports...

I think you explained yourself very well. I get what you mean entirely.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

There are several walls in your home that will be more interested in talking sports. Feel free to employ them. The topic is simple.. you think certain items, or things are too good for you. As if you're low class? Does it extend unto restaurants and stores? Or only personal belongings?

 

[ulu]

Anyone else experience something I like to call "self vanity". Where you refuse to wear nice clothes because you think you do not deserve it because of your physical reasons? Or the feelings of being ashamed of certain people being nice to you because you think they should have higher standards?

I experience this quite a lot. Anyone else the same?

Sorry to hear you feel this way. You deserve it good things as much as anyone else.

 

[MehGuy]

There are several walls in your home that will be more interested in talking sports. Feel free to employ them. The topic is simple.. you think certain items, or things are too good for you. As if you're low class? Does it extend unto restaurants and stores? Or only personal belongings?

Eh probably mostly clothes, I don't really feel as strongly about financial status, which what seems the other ones would be more about.

But it feels more like keeping honor I myself have set rather than what other people think or say about it. I still largely discourage people sucking up to good looking people by laughing at everything they say and whatnot.

 

[MehGuy]

Sorry to hear you feel this way. You deserve it good things as much as anyone else.

Eh, I'm not that sad about it, I still think I can get a day where I feel fine picking the good stuff. Like I said it's not really a depression thing for me.

 

[r035198x]

... though strangely I will still be very defensive towards a person who I feel think they are better than me and defiantly when they try to announce it. ....

I think I understand all the posts here except this part. Think you can explain that a bit more so I don't get the wrong impression?

 

[MehGuy]

I think I understand all the posts here except this part. Think you can explain that a bit more so I don't get the wrong impression?

If someone is acting like they are better than me real or imagined, I'll become very enraged and take it very personally. In other words I still won't be a stepping stone. And that my feelings about not wearing nice clothes are more personal than trying to please others.

 

[r035198x]

If someone is acting like they are better than me real or imagined, I'll become very enraged and take it very personally. In other words I still won't be a stepping stone. And that my feelings about not wearing nice clothes are more personal than trying to please others.

Weird. You don't like people treating you the way that you feel that people should treat you? Or am I still missing it?

 

[MehGuy]

Weird. You don't like people treating you the way that you feel that people should treat you? Or am I still missing it?[/quote


Basically.



Wow... uh that doesn't sound so good written down does it lol?

 

[r035198x]

..
Wow... uh that doesn't sound so good written down does it lol?

No. That's why I thought I was missing something.
Well you are certainly right in starting a thread about it. Two things require attention here IMO.

1.) Work on not getting upset when people treat you as bad as you feel they should treat you. Not getting upset no matter how you are treated is always good because it involves working on not getting upset, which is awesome.

2.) Work on raising your self worth a bit. Try to identify things that make you feel that you are lower than others and work on them, or if they are not changeable, talk to someone about them. You may be convinced that they are not really low markers after all. This should hopefully result in fewer and fewer things that you have that make you feel lower than others.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

I enjoy quality clothing, but I would never, ever, put anybody down for not wearing it; in fact it perturbs me greatly when other people do. I grew up without a lot of commodities, and people often overlooked me because I lacked funds to dress-up in so on and so forth; this doesn't mean I wouldn't want to share my joy of finer things with a girlfriend, but I'd really have to feel they deserved that attention from me. Which is also why I've said that I am the type of person who prefers to just go down to the pub and meet up with similar minds instead of gallivanting with upper-class types.

I know that I can give-off a fairly persnickety persona, and I really am quite particular; but I have every right to be as well! I'm not gonna devote my heart into a relationship, which I do at a very deep level, and feel as though I've wasted my time and energy on somebody who isn't capable of certain wisdom.