I have been dealing with homosexuality since I was around 10 years old and was first exposed to porn. I have messed around with guys for the past 5 or 6 years to amplify these feelings as well and not in the co-consentual kind of way. All of my friends were very blunt on their view of homosexuality and condemned it without giving it any other thought, adding to that what I've done to others kept me from telling anyone. Because of this though my whole family became a battleground, we were all at each other's throats over the smallest of things every day. My dad and I have never had a great relationship since we have no common ground and we used to fight when we were in the same room for no longer than a minute, most of the time the confrontations would end physically and with him making it painfully obvious that I'm not man enough to be called his son. I was incapable of talking with anyone about any of the things that bothered me, and I became secluded, depressed, and resentful to everyone, especially Christians since they were the ones that seemed to cause me so much pain.
There has only been one time when I have ever even planned a suicide attempt (when I plan something I always go through with it) but that was dashed away since my mom forced me to sit on a bus headed towards a summer church camp. I grew up in church so I knew everything I was was completely despised and there was no hope for me, so I completely ignored everything anyone said there. However, during one of the songs I was hit by an overwhelming hole in my heart, and the only thing I could do and did was lift my hand to the sky and ask for God to enter my life, which literally turned my whole life upside down. My dad and I can actually get along and I am very slowly learning to trust others and talk with some people about the things I've gone through. So, as a fairly new Christian I am looking to others who would be willing to help me, give me advice, or to even just talk with and know that I'm not alone in all of this.
There has only been one time when I have ever even planned a suicide attempt (when I plan something I always go through with it) but that was dashed away since my mom forced me to sit on a bus headed towards a summer church camp. I grew up in church so I knew everything I was was completely despised and there was no hope for me, so I completely ignored everything anyone said there. However, during one of the songs I was hit by an overwhelming hole in my heart, and the only thing I could do and did was lift my hand to the sky and ask for God to enter my life, which literally turned my whole life upside down. My dad and I can actually get along and I am very slowly learning to trust others and talk with some people about the things I've gone through. So, as a fairly new Christian I am looking to others who would be willing to help me, give me advice, or to even just talk with and know that I'm not alone in all of this.
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You are definately in the right path and keep it up. A strong prayer life is worth much more than anything else in our lives where sometimes gets us down. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and soul. I am here for you if you need to talk to someone. And as others here with willing ears and hearts. 
