Scrupulous: PLEASE HELP!!

[isabelle550223]

Hi. I have always been an overthinker when it comes to sin, but lately it seems that I’ve become scrupulous. I can’t hardly go a day without believing I may have committed a mortal sin (or multiple) and it drives me to feel very negative and not receive the Eucharist, even thought others will usually tell me I am not in a state of mortal sin.

I wondered if anyone had any advice for those who are scrupulous? I am particularly struggling to know when to go to Confession, since I do not want to ignore a mortal sin, but I also want to avoid using Confession in a compulsive way and allow my problem to persist. Sins/temptations against chastity and charity to others (particularly surrounding slander/calumny) are also difficult for me to navigate. Regarding sins against chastity, I have almost gotten to a point where I’m caused to think about it more or seem more likely to be aroused by trying to not sin.

Right in this moment I am struggling to know whether I mortally sinned by watching a movie scene. I’m not sure if everyone familiar with American Sniper, but I was watching it with my boyfriend and when it came to an implied sex scene, we fast-forwarded. However, there was another scene where a husband and wife were embracing and joking with each other in a potentially sexual way, and my mind immediately took it to be sexual. As I mentioned, I’ve struggled with determining what are sins against chastity and what are not…it leads me to almost be repulsed and immediately think “no I don’t want to think about that” (or something similar). During this particular scene though, which was a wife on her husband’s lap and they were hugging and kissing, I’m not sure if that thought crossed my mind or if I allowed myself to be more intrigued by it. I’m fairly certain I thought “do not allow yourself to be aroused”/”this is not arousing”, although I am not completely sure. I’m worried I allowed myself to watch the scene for a moment and enjoy it ever so briefly for my own benefit. Like I said though, I am unsure, and my recent habit of being so insistent that “I don’t want this” leads me to think I likely did not consent, although I am still afraid. Does it seem that I mortally sinned or am I being overly critical of myself and possibly scrupulous?

I’m not 100% sure that I am scrupulous, but I recently went to confession four times in five days, so I’m starting to think I may be.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Hi. I have always been an overthinker when it comes to sin, but lately it seems that I’ve become scrupulous. I can’t hardly go a day without believing I may have committed a mortal sin (or multiple) and it drives me to feel very negative and not receive the Eucharist, even thought others will usually tell me I am not in a state of mortal sin.

I wondered if anyone had any advice for those who are scrupulous? I am particularly struggling to know when to go to Confession, since I do not want to ignore a mortal sin, but I also want to avoid using Confession in a compulsive way and allow my problem to persist. Sins/temptations against chastity and charity to others (particularly surrounding slander/calumny) are also difficult for me to navigate. Regarding sins against chastity, I have almost gotten to a point where I’m caused to think about it more or seem more likely to be aroused by trying to not sin.

Right in this moment I am struggling to know whether I mortally sinned by watching a movie scene. I’m not sure if everyone familiar with American Sniper, but I was watching it with my boyfriend and when it came to an implied sex scene, we fast-forwarded. However, there was another scene where a husband and wife were embracing and joking with each other in a potentially sexual way, and my mind immediately took it to be sexual. As I mentioned, I’ve struggled with determining what are sins against chastity and what are not…it leads me to almost be repulsed and immediately think “no I don’t want to think about that” (or something similar). During this particular scene though, which was a wife on her husband’s lap and they were hugging and kissing, I’m not sure if that thought crossed my mind or if I allowed myself to be more intrigued by it. I’m fairly certain I thought “do not allow yourself to be aroused”/”this is not arousing”, although I am not completely sure. I’m worried I allowed myself to watch the scene for a moment and enjoy it ever so briefly for my own benefit. Like I said though, I am unsure, and my recent habit of being so insistent that “I don’t want this” leads me to think I likely did not consent, although I am still afraid. Does it seem that I mortally sinned or am I being overly critical of myself and possibly scrupulous?

I’m not 100% sure that I am scrupulous, but I recently went to confession four times in five days, so I’m starting to think I may be.

Welcome to CF. I am sorry you are going through a difficult time with forgiveness and repentance. I am sure a Catholic brother or sister will help you with your query. Be blessed.

 

[St_Worm2]

Hello @isabelle550223, first off, WELCOME TO CF

I agree with all three of @Maria Billingsley's sentiments in her post above (BTW, your RC brothers and sisters can regularly be found here .. on the OBOB boards ).

As for mortal sin, the enemy uses our eyes to tempt us to lust, but you have been doing the right thing by refusing his temptations when they come your way, and thereby stopping them it their tracks before they become sin (remember that the Lord Jesus was tempted in all ways, yet w/o sin .. Hebrews 4:15, so temptation is not sin).

As St. Paul instructs us,

2 Corinthians 10
5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
​

So keep on resisting all of the temptations that come your way by taking all of those thoughts "captive" in Jesus' name, and give them over to Him to deal with instead. I also believe that this is the principle way that we obey the following command from St. James, and then receive the promise that is attached to it because we do.

James 4
7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil .. and he will flee from you.
​

When you believe (or know) that you've failed to do so, IOW, when you believe that you've allowed the temptation that you are facing to become sin, the good news is, all you need to do is confess your sins and God has promised to cleanse you of them, again and again and again, as necessary .. cf Matthew 18:21-22. Remember too that the Lord isn't looking for perfection ~from us~ (because He knows that we are not .. perfect/mature, that is) as much as He cares about having a growing relationship ~with us~.

1 John 1
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.​

Finally, once he gets started, our enemy often seems relentless in his pursuit of us, so he probably won't stop shooting his flaming arrows (see Ephesians 6:16) at you until he's sure that you're not going to fall for his temptations, so just keep on resisting, even though it can become frustrating and tiring to do so, because God will (eventually) fulfill the promise that He made to you in James 4:7 (and you will remain free from committing mortal sin).

God bless you! (Numbers 6:24-26)

--David

 

[Carl Emerson]

We are all sinners saved by Grace...

It will help to focus your life on Him in thanks for your forgiveness and let Him work your freedom from your sin nature.

The more you focus on Him, the issues of sin will fall away...

There is more to it, but this is a good start, and will break the cycle of repetitive condemnation.

Welcome to CF and be Loved.

 

[Sketcher]

I used to worry about spiritual things to the point of near-paralysis. I'm better now.

The more your mind sticks on something like that, the worse it gets. Take Philippians 4:8 for instance - it's a good verse, but when filtered through an overly scrupulous mind or spirit, people feel the need to filter every last detail of every piece of entertainment they consider consuming. The end result is they are filtering so hard, looking for the least amount of bad, that they fail to fulfill the command. It doesn't mean zero filtering, but it also doesn't mean obsessive filtering.

I find that the best thing to do is just move on as fast as possible. I can pray a mental prayer of repentance in a second if that, and go on to the next thing. If it's something I know is a temptation or an intrusive thought, rather than a sin I said "yes" to, I don't even do that much of the time, so I'm not giving it a foothold to destroy me further. Singing a simple hymn to God instead is a good way to move on. Remember Hebrews 12:1-2.

 

[Carl Emerson]

I used to worry about spiritual things to the point of near-paralysis. I'm better now.

The more your mind sticks on something like that, the worse it gets. Take Philippians 4:8 for instance - it's a good verse, but when filtered through an overly scrupulous mind or spirit, people feel the need to filter every last detail of every piece of entertainment they consider consuming. The end result is they are filtering so hard, looking for the least amount of bad, that they fail to fulfill the command. It doesn't mean zero filtering, but it also doesn't mean obsessive filtering.

I find that the best thing to do is just move on as fast as possible. I can pray a mental prayer of repentance in a second if that, and go on to the next thing. If it's something I know is a temptation or an intrusive thought, rather than a sin I said "yes" to, I don't even do that much of the time, so I'm not giving it a foothold to destroy me further. Singing a simple hymn to God instead is a good way to move on. Remember Hebrews 12:1-2.

Yes... Praise is a great weapon against intrusions.

 

[Joined2krist]

Hi, welcome to CF! I suggest you read your simple catechism book and focus on the area regarding sin or read these scriptures PS 32, 51, Matt 12:31, Romans 14:23. Whenever you find out you have sinned, say an 'act of contrition'' prayer, this would do in the absence of a Priest. Quit watching 'worldly' movies if you can, because you never know when ungodly scenes will pop-up, you are welcome to join us at the Catholic community on here, welcome again and be blessed

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Hi and welcome to C F.

 

[Deade]

Hello isabelle, a belated welcome to CF.

I hope you'll enjoy your stay here.

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