Scary thoughts... might trigger.

[dusk26]

My OCD is getting so bad. I feel like a complete waste of space. I'm not a good mom, I'd rather spend my days in bed than anything. I don't know if it's depression or what. I guess I need to talk to my dr. about that. My rituals take up any time I'm actually out of bed. Nothing helps. The meds don't help, therapy doesn't help.

Lately I've been having thoughts of suicide. I'm pretty sure I won't do anything, because I have kids, but the thoughts are still there. It seems like the only way out of this. My rituals are my life now. I really don't know why I'm posting, guess I just need to vent.

 

[joey_downunder]

Hi dusk26, I am going to say upfront I haven't ever had OCD but I have had to struggle with depression and very negative thinking patterns that were impossible to overcome without God's help. Depression and OCD are probably relatives.

I have a request: do you have a portable computer that you can carry around with you everywhere so you can listen to it even if you are doing your rituals at the time?

God knows where you're at. Now don't call yourself a hypocrite if you might be listening to christian worship or sermons while you do rituals. There is probably some spiritual battle you are going through and you need God's word for that.

A couple of verses first:
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)

How will that renewal of the mind come about?
For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? (Romans 10:11-14)

That is the opening for my link: Worrying Sermons - SermonAudio.com

 

[dusk26]

Thank you so much. No, I don't have a portable computer or laptop. I wish I did. Thank you for those verses.

 

[joey_downunder]

I am in a computer junkie household so that's why I asked.

What about good christian radio stations that teach as well as encourage you?

Another suggestion: if you're at home by yourself does your computer have loud enough speakers so you could listen to good soothing christian music and sermons while you go about your everyday business?

Everything I am suggesting is so that your mind will have some good constructive things to help strengthen your faith and compete with your OCD thoughts. God 's teachings beat my depressive thinking patterns but it did take time.

Remember EVERY time you battle and succeed- even if it is just one minute - shows that you ARE getting stronger. God is always with you OK?

 

[kaykay9.0]

Dusk, are you get professional help in the way of counseling/meds? It sounds like you need some intervention. Praying for you~~