scared to death

[8462]

I am 8 months pregnant. My DH and I are expecting our little girl to arrive sometime in February. I already have a two and a half year old little boy who owns my heart!

When I was pregnant with my son I didn't have that difficult of a pregnancy and rather had lots of energy to burn. I was out every day up until my due date and even after my due date I was out shopping or visiting with friends. I didn't have a problem at all.

When I was hospitalized for the birth of my son I had to have a c-section. (I have a heart condition that could be potentially fatal if they would have let me have him naturally. Not to mention he was 9lbs 1oz 21 1/2 inches long.) The doctor who performed my c-section had 9 to perform that day and I happened to be the first one that he did. Needless to say. . . he didn't take his time with the surgery and I ended up paying for it. We were out of the operating room within fifteen minutes. I couldn't hold my son for 3 hours after my surgery. My husband and his mother got to hold him before I could.

While in the operating room I lost 8 units of blood. They had to work quickly to get the bleeding to stop. I remember getting to briefly see my son in my husbands arms for the first time as I heard the doctor yell. . . "get them out of here." No sooner than a nurse ushered my husband and newborn son out of the operating room I heard the alarms from the machines going off. After I heard them and began to worry a bit I ended up loosing consciousness and not knowing what exactly happened. I came to staring up at the lights as they rolled me down the hallway back to the recovery room. I went back out before I ever got to the recovery room though.

I remember coming to while in the recovery room to look over and see them working on my son in the incubator. I still couldn't move. All I wanted was to hold him. . . And I couldn't even do that. All I could do was watch as my husband and his mother oooed and ahhhed over him. Of course my husband would hold him. This was one thing that I told the doctor to be certain of was that he was to hold his son before anyone else was.

The nurses kept coming in and making sure that no one was messing with me however. They would come in and check my IV and then take my temperature and they kept checking my fluid levels. I didn't understand at the time but apparently I lost 2 more units of blood once I was returned to the recovery room. Total I lost 10 units of blood. They almost lost me.

About an hour after the nurses finally got the bleeding under control and they were sure that I was going to be ok they left the room and I was allowed to have my husband hold my son in my lap so that I could actually see him properly.

My husband had to go to work a little later and left his mother in the hospital room to help me and attend to my newborn seeing that I couldn't get out of bed. Realizing when he got back to my room that I was in serious pain he asked. "are you ok?" I was crying so bad I said "NO!" he wanted to know what was going on. I told him that I had rang the nurse 3 or 4 times begging for pain meds and they wouldn't come in. They of course said "we will be there in just a min" but they never came in. The whole time he was at work (an 8 hour shift) I had not received any pain medications at all since the surgery which was a shocking ten hours before this. My husband went out to the nurses station demanding to know what was going on and why I was in there writhing in pain.

So of course they came in and gave me something for pain. That night they informed me that most women who have c-sections are up walking approximately 12 hours after the surgery but that I was in no condition to be up and about. (later I learned from my husband that one of the night shift nurses had told him that I had lost so much blood they were scared I would hit the floor if I tried to get up.) The next morning I was so tired and weak they decided that it was not good for me to get up then either. It was about 36 hours and a couple of units of blood later that I finally started to regain my strength and was able to get out of bed and walk. I was in the hospital for 4 days before they finally even considered letting me go home.

They only reason they allowed me to go home was because I made such a big fuss about it. I figured "if they aren't going to take care of me and they are going to make my husband and mother-in-law do all the work then I might as well be a little more comfortable at home." So they let me go home.

It would have been great if it had ended there but about a week and a half to two weeks later I ended up being re admitted to the hospital. For some reason I had started bleeding again and I lost a lot of blood at home. They kept me over night and monitored my blood levels which seemed so have dropped drastically from earlier in the evening. I was allowed to go home the next night under strict orders of bedrest.

I fought this battle for 2 months after my son was born. I barely remember the first month of his life (except for what my husband video taped).

Here is my concern. It has been two years plus since my c-section and I am 8 months pregnant now. Although I have a new doctor I am still scared to death of going back into the operating room. I am scared that they are actually going to mess up worse than last time and that I am not going to get to see my baby girl.

I know this sounds like I am crazy and maybe I have no real reason to be concerned but I am. I remember very vividly that pain after the surgery. I remember regretting not being able to hold my son and being in and out of it. More than anything I am concerned for my son. I think that if he is not waiting for me in the recovery room that I will lose it. I know that everyone's attention is going to be turned towards the new baby and I feel like he isn't going to have anyone there specifically for him.

I have asked some friends to come in and do certain "jobs" for me while I am in the hospital. My husband has asked his grandmother to come and stay for a couple of weeks so that he has some peace about leaving me and the babies while he has to work. I have asked a friend of mine (who is like my mother) to come and just be with me and make sure that I am ok during the hospitalization time. I have also asked another friend of mine to specifically be there for my son.

I am not sure that this is going to be logically what I am wanting but I think that it will help.

I guess more than anything I just need prayers to help calm my worrying heart. I am truly scared to death.

Does anyone have any information that may help me worry less?

 

[blackribbon]

I can't help with you with the details of your problem but if your new doctor is aware of the complications you had the first time and you trust him/her, then I'd quit worrying so much because they will be watching you much more closely.

Each birth is different. I had a lot of complications with my first birth...I guess my son must have stepped on a nerve while he was in the womb and stunned my bladder. There were a lot of "warning" signs that something was wrong but the situation was so unusual, that nobody thought about it. There were issues over the next few days and then it was discovered that I had over 5 L of fluid in my bladder. I was peeing but the urologist decided it was just "overflow". This situation left me somewhat "toxic" for several months after he was born. Fast forward, my second pregnancy had my family very worried but I had absolutely none of the issues from the first one. It was smooth going. I'd expect the same to happen to you and the doctor will know to be watching you more carefully. In addition, if you can arrange to have people sit with you in the hospital the whole time you are there, they can help you if the nurses are too busy to get you what you need. My mom sat with me and if they didn't care for me the way she wanted, she was down at the nurses station so they wouldn't forget us.

((hugs))...don't let the fear overwhelm you...the chances are that you will not have any problems this time...but if you do, you have a history and they will be pro-active this time...you have a history...

 

[blessedmomof5]

I am sorry to hear that the birth of your son was not what you imagined! Or what any women would ever imagine!!!

I would hope that you put enough trust in your new doctor and said everything you just posted here!
If not, print this out and bring it too your next APPT!!!!

Unless you tell them what your fears are, and hopes they do not know, and cannot make every effort to see that it happens, if it can safely for mom and baby!
Empathically of course! If you find your dr does NOT listen when you talk or spend enough time with you to answer ur questions or is always rushed, THEN it is time for a new DR!

I also had 3 c sections! I guess its normal? Maybe but my kids are older but i did not hold mine for over an hour after they were born!!


Trust that God has a different and Better plan this time for you and your little girl!

And 9lbs? He should have never let u go that far

 

[epiclesis]

did you have bloodwork drawn for your first pregnancy?

 

[8462]

yes. My son was born 9lbs 1oz. He was a pretty chunky baby.

and I did have tons of bloodwork drawn. I felt like the nurses private pin cushion every time I was in the dr.s office.

I just found out today (at 34 weeks) that I have gestational diabetes. I did not have this with my son so I wasn't really looking for it. My Dr. Called me this morning asking me to come into her office first thing in the morning. I will find out more in the morning. I will let you all know what she says. But this makes me even more worried. I don't know what this is going to mean for the delivery or the rest of the pregnancy.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

yes. My son was born 9lbs 1oz. He was a pretty chunky baby.

and I did have tons of bloodwork drawn. I felt like the nurses private pin cushion every time I was in the dr.s office.

I just found out today (at 34 weeks) that I have gestational diabetes. I did not have this with my son so I wasn't really looking for it. My Dr. Called me this morning asking me to come into her office first thing in the morning. I will find out more in the morning. I will let you all know what she says. But this makes me even more worried. I don't know what this is going to mean for the delivery or the rest of the pregnancy.

They might deliver early,or give u meds to control your sugar levels.Your childs should be fine,may be in the hosital for a couple weeks,if she comes early.I'm guessing they'll try to give your meds.If they can't control your sugar,or if you baby seem big,they might deliver.

 

[8462]

They might deliver early,or give u meds to control your sugar levels.Your childs should be fine,may be in the hosital for a couple weeks,if she comes early.I'm guessing they'll try to give your meds.If they can't control your sugar,or if you baby seem big,they might deliver.

this is what the dr said this morning. They gave me a sugar tester and want to see if just diet will change my sugar levels for the next week but if it's not better by next week they are talking about giving me insulin pills. She said worst case that if the insulin doesn't work then they will have to deliver early.

Apparently what is happening is that my sugar is not being processed by the insulin in my body due to the pregnancy hormone being too strong. When my sugar finally does get processed my body processes all of it and I end up bottoming out. Which is why I all of a sudden pass out without any warnings.

She said that because they caught it so late that it's a 50/50 chance that I will not recover from being a diabetic after the birth. This has me really worried.

Has anyone else gone through Gestational Diabetes? If so, What did you do to maintain your sugar?

 

[1Prophetess]

Good grief, girl, you went through a lot.

I wouldn't have responded but your story about your first birthing was my story. The main difference is that I only lost 8 pints of blood. The first thing that the doctor said to me when he was pushed out of me (ripped me from my uterus down and out) was, "He's alive." My hands and feet and mostly my arms and legs were blue. I didn't know what was going on, and I was pretty sick. I think maybe the reason we both lived is that my mom was praying in the waiting room for us.

So you have reason to fear, but remember that fear is not of God. So when that fear hits you, you must start binding the devil. Say, "I bind you fear in the name of Jesus." Then select a song you love, and sing it to Jesus. It will calm your fears.

Lord of my life, Father God, Jesus Christ our Lord, and Spirit of the Living God, we thank You for You are the beginning and the end. We praise You for your Mighty Power toward us that even while we were sinners, Christ died for us. We praise You that You didn't stop there but You answer our prayers because You love us so. Now I ask that 8462, the person, is blessed in delivery of this baby. I ask that you bless the baby and make it healthy. I ask that her uterus is strong, and that the baby comes quickly, and the doctor is wise in dealing with the c section and is careful, sewing her up correctly, and that there are no other c sections waiting after hers, that she is the center of attention. I pray that angels of the Lord stay with her from this point until the delivery is completed perfectly, and that they stay with the baby, holding him in safety until his mother and father can take over to pray and keep him safe. I ask in the name of Jesus that there is complete and total safety in the lives of this family, and that the new baby is easy and accepted and loved by the entire family. In Jesus name, amen.

Now go and ask your pastor to pray for your safety. I felt this from the beginning. You need prayer on this. Have him lay hands on you and ask that you are safe and pray that fear is gone from you.

God bless you as you bring another soon to be Christian into the world.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

this is what the dr said this morning. They gave me a sugar tester and want to see if just diet will change my sugar levels for the next week but if it's not better by next week they are talking about giving me insulin pills. She said worst case that if the insulin doesn't work then they will have to deliver early.

Apparently what is happening is that my sugar is not being processed by the insulin in my body due to the pregnancy hormone being too strong. When my sugar finally does get processed my body processes all of it and I end up bottoming out. Which is why I all of a sudden pass out without any warnings.

She said that because they caught it so late that it's a 50/50 chance that I will not recover from being a diabetic after the birth. This has me really worried.

Has anyone else gone through Gestational Diabetes? If so, What did you do to maintain your sugar?

How long have u been passing out,maybe u haven't had it your whole pregnacy.They should have found out when they took a Gestational Diabetes test,that should have been earler in the pregnacy.If u end up with diabetes,then you'll have to monitor your sugar levels,they'll give meds to help and diet to help with sugar levels.If they don't,MAKE SURE AND ASK YOUR DOCTOR.I hope your c section goes well.

 

[1Prophetess]

I have always heard that gestational diabetes goes away when the pregnancy is done. One person actually had to lose the weight back to normal, but ten or so pounds down, it went away.

I think I've heard doctors say that too. But I don't think it is normal to stay diabetic.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

I have always heard that gestational diabetes goes away when the pregnancy is done. One person actually had to lose the weight back to normal, but ten or so pounds down, it went away.

I think I've heard doctors say that too. But I don't think it is normal to stay diabetic.

Yes I've never heard someone having gestational diabetes,after the pregnacy was over.I have known people that had diabetes all there lives,there able to control it,with med,exercise and proper diet.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

If u give your first name,I could put u and your baby on a prayer list.

 

[epiclesis]

I asked about your blood work because with my first baby I believe I hemmoraged and I couldn't sit or stand for about 3 days - I was so wear, I would pass out. I was having trouble breastfeeding and didn't even have the energy to fight to figure out our problems because I was so weak.
I didn't have any bloodwork with my first.

When I was pregnant with my second, I had it done and my iron levels had alerts on them they were so low - so I think I've been anemic for many many years.

My iron levels did not increase much from while pregnant to after I had the baby, but I had a completely different labor and birth experience, and had no complications afterwards like I did the first time.

Just sharing my story for some hope for you - because the second time around could be very very different.

Good luck - I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[8462]

I will be going to see my actual Dr. and not a midwife on Thursday. I will let you all know what she says. Thanks

 

[blackribbon]

Ask questions. Ask if he knows what could have caused you to bleed like that? If he doesn't have access to your original records, he may not have an exact answer. If you want to know for sure, I believe that either the midwife or the doctor should be able to access these if you are willing to go to the first doctor and release them. I'm guessing that it was an individual event unless you have low clotting issues which I believe the doctor can deal medically if he knows that is an issue. You also can help by upping your Vitamin K intake because this vitamin increases your blood clotting ability. This is dark green veggies...green beans, broccoli, brussel sprouts...(google it for more choices).

Also, I have never heard of anyone staying diabetic after giving birth (but I don't know a lot here)...however, in nutrition class we did learn that you and your baby might be more predisposed to becoming diabetic later in life so it is is wise to take control of both your diets right away and just make them a part of life.

You have several days. Get out a notebook and write down every question you have about this pregnancy and your last...and all your fears. If you primarily see a midwife, take this list also to the midwife and see what she says, too. Answers will help calm your fears. It also lets your caregivers know that you have these fears so that they can help calm them and allow you to welcome your new little baby girl.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

Does your doctor know u have been passing out,I'm not getting,why they let u go home,if your sugar levels causes u to pass out.

 

[8462]

The doctor does know that I have been passing out. She has placed me on strict "quarters" as my DH describes it. I am no longer allowed to leave the house (under any circumstance) by myself. I was in a store with my son by myself when I passed out last time.

 

[1Prophetess]

I John 4:15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

So here's what this says:

1) God lives in you.
2) God is love.
3) There is no fear in love.
4) Perfect love (that's Jesus) drives out fear.
5) Fear is about punishment. If you have used I John 1:9 and confessed your sins, you have no fear of punishment. So you're pure and clean according to God.



Jehovah Shalom, we thank You for being there for us. We praise You, Jehovah Shalom, who is the giver of peace. We so often need peace in our lives where Satan wants to put us in fear. But we ask now that this woman, a soon to be mother of a child that will be saved and be a leader of people, that this woman, and this child, are healed and safe. Lord Jehovah Shalom, give her great peace so that nothing can take it away. We ask in Jesus name, Jesus our Jehovah Shalom. Amen.

When are you due?

 

[united4Peace]

I have always heard that gestational diabetes goes away when the pregnancy is done. One person actually had to lose the weight back to normal, but ten or so pounds down, it went away.

I think I've heard doctors say that too. But I don't think it is normal to stay diabetic.

Actually it is normal to stay diabetic. Diabetes 2 affects many adults, whether it is from gestational diabetes or not.
This is why it's important to maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle!!

 

[united4Peace]

Yes I've never heard someone having gestational diabetes,after the pregnacy was over.I have known people that had diabetes all there lives,there able to control it,with med,exercise and proper diet.

That would be Diabetes 1 or rather Childhood diabetes.


Type 1 diabetes: pathogenesis and prevention

Medscape: Medscape Access

Gestational Diabetes and the Incidence of Type 2 Diabetes