Sad about being single and alone forever...

[Brandon W Hidely]

I just made an account here. There are lots of places to post so my apologies if this is in the wrong spot

I’m a 22 year old guy who’s a Christian. I’ve never so much as been on a date or held hands with a girl. I’ve waited a long, long time and tried to be patient and not care but it’s getting hard now. I’ve watched friends, cousins, and siblings get into relationships and get married. And it just never happens for me. I’m starting to be almost certain that it won’t happen.

I don’t think I’m a bad guy. Currently I’m unemployed, but am going to college to get a degree. I do exercise and try to stay in decent shape. I try to be a faithful Christian. Not for the sake of finding a spouse, but that’s just who I am. I go to a Baptist Church where almost everybody is married. Most people there my age even have kids. I wish I could be like them. I try to act like it doesn’t bother me that no women like me and that I’ll never marry or have kids, but it actually makes me really sad.

Everybody tells me that marriage is hard and that I should be glad that I’ve never had a relationship. I don’t know why they think that. I just feel really sad and left out and lonely tonight. What can I do about it?

 

[URA]

 

[A_Thinker]

I just made an account here. There are lots of places to post so my apologies if this is in the wrong spot

I’m a 22 year old guy who’s a Christian. I’ve never so much as been on a date or held hands with a girl. I’ve waited a long, long time and tried to be patient and not care but it’s getting hard now. I’ve watched friends, cousins, and siblings get into relationships and get married. And it just never happens for me. I’m starting to be almost certain that it won’t happen.

I don’t think I’m a bad guy. Currently I’m unemployed, but am going to college to get a degree. I do exercise and try to stay in decent shape. I try to be a faithful Christian. Not for the sake of finding a spouse, but that’s just who I am. I go to a Baptist Church where almost everybody is married. Most people there my age even have kids. I wish I could be like them. I try to act like it doesn’t bother me that no women like me and that I’ll never marry or have kids, but it actually makes me really sad.

Everybody tells me that marriage is hard and that I should be glad that I’ve never had a relationship. I don’t know why they think that. I just feel really sad and left out and lonely tonight. What can I do about it?

I was forty when I married.

Spend your time preparing to be a good husband. Study scripture and spend time in prayer with God.

Find others who enjoy some of the same hobbies you do and participate in these groups.

It doesn't sound like you will stay unmarried for life ...

 

[Jon Osterman]

This is a case of the grass always being greener on the other side of the fence. You have fallen for the propaganda that everyone has to be in a relationship to be worth something. But Paul tells us that it is better not to get married. Trust me (and Paul), you are much better off staying single!

 

[URA]

Spend your time preparing to be a good husband. Study scripture and spend time in prayer with God.

Start looking into the Theology of the Body. Coming into college, I was incredibly lonely, and found my solace in Jason Evert & Chris Stefanick talking about ways to take advantage of singleness. I'm still single, but God took the bite out of it, and now I can be high-performing on my own.

 

[salt-n-light]

I just made an account here. There are lots of places to post so my apologies if this is in the wrong spot

I’m a 22 year old guy who’s a Christian. I’ve never so much as been on a date or held hands with a girl. I’ve waited a long, long time and tried to be patient and not care but it’s getting hard now. I’ve watched friends, cousins, and siblings get into relationships and get married. And it just never happens for me. I’m starting to be almost certain that it won’t happen.

I don’t think I’m a bad guy. Currently I’m unemployed, but am going to college to get a degree. I do exercise and try to stay in decent shape. I try to be a faithful Christian. Not for the sake of finding a spouse, but that’s just who I am. I go to a Baptist Church where almost everybody is married. Most people there my age even have kids. I wish I could be like them. I try to act like it doesn’t bother me that no women like me and that I’ll never marry or have kids, but it actually makes me really sad.

Everybody tells me that marriage is hard and that I should be glad that I’ve never had a relationship. I don’t know why they think that. I just feel really sad and left out and lonely tonight. What can I do about it?

Go out and date.

If you do the same things, you're going to get the same results. So do something different, and go out on a date instead.

 

[singpeace]

I just made an account here. There are lots of places to post so my apologies if this is in the wrong spot

I’m a 22 year old guy who’s a Christian. I’ve never so much as been on a date or held hands with a girl. I’ve waited a long, long time and tried to be patient and not care but it’s getting hard now. I’ve watched friends, cousins, and siblings get into relationships and get married. And it just never happens for me. I’m starting to be almost certain that it won’t happen.

I don’t think I’m a bad guy. Currently I’m unemployed, but am going to college to get a degree. I do exercise and try to stay in decent shape. I try to be a faithful Christian. Not for the sake of finding a spouse, but that’s just who I am. I go to a Baptist Church where almost everybody is married. Most people there my age even have kids. I wish I could be like them. I try to act like it doesn’t bother me that no women like me and that I’ll never marry or have kids, but it actually makes me really sad.

Everybody tells me that marriage is hard and that I should be glad that I’ve never had a relationship. I don’t know why they think that. I just feel really sad and left out and lonely tonight. What can I do about it?

Lord, you are so merciful and good. I ask that you fulfil the desires of A's heart and bring him a wife you personally have selected for him. I pray Lord that in the meantime, A would set his mind and heart toward a singleness of mind; that he delight himself in the Lord, and You will give him the desires of his heart. Lord, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. I pray that A sets his mind once and for all to not doubt but to have steadfast faith. That he would count it all joy when meeting trials, for A knows that the testing of his faith produces steadfastness. And help A to let steadfastness have its full effect, that A may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. THAT HE LET YOU PREPARE HIM FOR HIS WIFE WHILE YOU PREPARE HIS FUTURE WIFE ALSO. Help A by reminding him how precious he is to You. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Prov 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

James 1:2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I just made an account here. There are lots of places to post so my apologies if this is in the wrong spot

I’m a 22 year old guy who’s a Christian. I’ve never so much as been on a date or held hands with a girl. I’ve waited a long, long time and tried to be patient and not care but it’s getting hard now. I’ve watched friends, cousins, and siblings get into relationships and get married. And it just never happens for me. I’m starting to be almost certain that it won’t happen.

I don’t think I’m a bad guy. Currently I’m unemployed, but am going to college to get a degree. I do exercise and try to stay in decent shape. I try to be a faithful Christian. Not for the sake of finding a spouse, but that’s just who I am. I go to a Baptist Church where almost everybody is married. Most people there my age even have kids. I wish I could be like them. I try to act like it doesn’t bother me that no women like me and that I’ll never marry or have kids, but it actually makes me really sad.

Everybody tells me that marriage is hard and that I should be glad that I’ve never had a relationship. I don’t know why they think that. I just feel really sad and left out and lonely tonight. What can I do about it?

The bible tells us that "with God all things are possible". But there is no need to rush, I was some where around 35-36 before I was married. I am now happily married. Just trust God, it will all work out in the end.

 

[Heavenhome]

I just made an account here. There are lots of places to post so my apologies if this is in the wrong spot

I’m a 22 year old guy who’s a Christian. I’ve never so much as been on a date or held hands with a girl. I’ve waited a long, long time and tried to be patient and not care but it’s getting hard now. I’ve watched friends, cousins, and siblings get into relationships and get married. And it just never happens for me. I’m starting to be almost certain that it won’t happen.

I don’t think I’m a bad guy. Currently I’m unemployed, but am going to college to get a degree. I do exercise and try to stay in decent shape. I try to be a faithful Christian. Not for the sake of finding a spouse, but that’s just who I am. I go to a Baptist Church where almost everybody is married. Most people there my age even have kids. I wish I could be like them. I try to act like it doesn’t bother me that no women like me and that I’ll never marry or have kids, but it actually makes me really sad.

Everybody tells me that marriage is hard and that I should be glad that I’ve never had a relationship. I don’t know why they think that. I just feel really sad and left out and lonely tonight. What can I do about it?

It is hard to find your place when all around are in relationships or married but remember that each one of us has value AS WE ARE you are still young and maybe the fact that you are studying perhaps it is preferable that you concentrate first on GOD and then your studies, and then think about finding someone. Being single for the present means you can devote uninterrupted time to both. There is plenty of time for you to get married, just remember when you do date, as a Christian you need to be with someone who shares your beliefs a total MUST if you are to be married
All this from a 59 year old, always single woman but the difference is that even before coming to Christ, I just "knew" I wouldn't get married!
Please understand that as a Christian there is no such thing as luck, our very steps are ordered by the Lord and He knows what is good for us and has wonderful things prepared for us.
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."Proverbs 3:5

 

[carolina16]

22! You are so young. Enjoy your single status, will never back again the time you can spent for yourself.

 

[Sketcher]

At 22, you're too young to rightfully believe that it will never happen. You have a lot of time to make it happen, and in all likelihood, a lot more potential to make it happen than you're giving yourself credit for.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

I just made an account here. There are lots of places to post so my apologies if this is in the wrong spot

I’m a 22 year old guy who’s a Christian. I’ve never so much as been on a date or held hands with a girl. I’ve waited a long, long time and tried to be patient and not care but it’s getting hard now. I’ve watched friends, cousins, and siblings get into relationships and get married. And it just never happens for me. I’m starting to be almost certain that it won’t happen.

I don’t think I’m a bad guy. Currently I’m unemployed, but am going to college to get a degree. I do exercise and try to stay in decent shape. I try to be a faithful Christian. Not for the sake of finding a spouse, but that’s just who I am. I go to a Baptist Church where almost everybody is married. Most people there my age even have kids. I wish I could be like them. I try to act like it doesn’t bother me that no women like me and that I’ll never marry or have kids, but it actually makes me really sad.

Everybody tells me that marriage is hard and that I should be glad that I’ve never had a relationship. I don’t know why they think that. I just feel really sad and left out and lonely tonight. What can I do about it?

Welcome to the forum.

Marriage is hard work, they aren't lying to you.
The ones who marry young and have children, thing aren't
all jelly-beans and sunshine, they have hard times and many
are financially strapped and many young marrieds be looking
for a way out.
They come into church with painted on smiles and
full of talk about everything but how they lives really be.
I watch this go on in the church me and my husband attend...marriages
there be coming apart on a regular basis...older marrieds aren't much
better off either.
Marriages be a regular on the prayer request list for a long time now.

It is normal to want to have a romance, you ain't no different than any of
us. When we didn't have anybody, believe you me, we wanted a love interest.

If your church don't have any singles, then get acquainted with christian singles
in your age range at other churches in your town.
Next, work on communication skills...you know, ask a girl out... or ask out a mix
of guys and girls.
Work on getting a bit more comfortable talking...practice these meet ups.
Don't worry/stress about doing it perfectly, none of do it perfectly when we first start out....I know I didn't...I was horrible at this and it took me a long time to
improve my communication skills.
Thing is....keep working on it.
We all had to work through awkwardness and being nervous.
Use verbal and written forms of communication.
The library has books on communicating, dating, socializing etc. use these resources.

When it come to getting married, don't rush...take your time and be certain that
you and her are actually ready for marriage.
Desires are part of it but it's not all.
Spiritual and physical Maturity are biggies.
It's important to know one another's core values/beliefs... what one another really
believe inwardly.
There's a lot of divorces going on and lives being torn apart, many young children
growing up in a single parent home... my prayer is that your future marriage will be a success, so take your time and enjoy the freedom
of being single and serving as one of the Lord's Ambassadors.

 

[yuppers]

I hate to say this very cliche saying but you are still young. I’m almost 25 and have never been in a relationship before either. I would advise against trying to be patient and waiting. You have to make an effort and start to go on some dates. Even if things don’t work out between you two you’ll start to get some experience and knowledge for the next time you go out. I had a tough time with interacting with girls before. I have social anxiety and was supper shy around girls before. Most of the dates I’ve gone on have been from online dating sites. If you struggle to find single girls in your church or are shy online dating can be a good starting tool. Find a Christian site or make your profile to search for Christian girls. Don’t be embarrassed and put up a good profile picture of yourself. Start sending out some messages and see if you get replies. Once you get to the point of going on your first date don’t let your inexperience hold you back. Just act normal and try to have a good time. Be willing to give a girl a second chance even if things don’t go very smooth on your first date. If you or the other decide things won’t work out just keep looking for another. To find a wife you have to pray but also be actively seeking it.

I hope this helps a little bit.

 

[AnnaDeborah]

At 22 you are a little young to decide you will be single 'forever'!

Pray about it. But remember that you do actually have to put some effort into it too - I've never yet heard of anyone who had someone knock on their door and announce 'Hi, I'm your new girlfriend'!!! Get used to talking to women. And pray that when you meet one who will be a good partner for you, you will know.