S.a.h.m.

[marezee]

thank you faithmom, kristieLee, and illinoismommy...
Our church has many nursery and toddler nursery workers. I am also a volunteer in the nursery. We have a pager system and they page me when they cannot calm Jake down. They will let him cry for a period of time, but not the whole hour and a half. It is disruptive to the other children. But i do keep bringing him and keep reassuring him, so maybe he will grow out of it. My other two didn't like going either until they were 3 & 4.

but thanks again!

 

[KristiLee]

Now if I could just figure out what to do with my infant

How old is your baby? Both of my girls stayed with me until they were one year old, and like I said they had been in and out of the toddler class because I taught, so the transition was quite gradual. Is there any way you could sit in the toddler class or nursery with him/her? Perhaps you could assist or teach every once in a while? Although I welcome mom's to stay in the class (of course - as if anyone could say to me "I'd rather you not be in here with YOUR child" and me be okay with that), I do feel intimidated. Even though I have assistants coming in and out all morning as well as the doors wide open for anyone who walks by to see in and hear, I feel on the spot (kind of like I did when I went to get my license). LOL

So be gracious with the teacher if you sit in with the class and he/she seems like a complete bone-head. haha

 

[Leanna]

How old is your baby? Both of my girls stayed with me until they were one year old, and like I said they had been in and out of the toddler class because I taught, so the transition was quite gradual. Is there any way you could sit in the toddler class or nursery with him/her? Perhaps you could assist or teach every once in a while? Although I welcome mom's to stay in the class (of course - as if anyone could say to me "I'd rather you not be in here with YOUR child" and me be okay with that), I do feel intimidated. Even though I have assistants coming in and out all morning as well as the doors wide open for anyone who walks by to see in and hear, I feel on the spot (kind of like I did when I went to get my license). LOL

So be gracious with the teacher if you sit in with the class and he/she seems like a complete bone-head. haha

I have been considering signing up to help with infants or toddlers (they need help with both the bulletin says) but this is a newer church, we've only been going a little over a month and I don't want to make them uncomfortable by signing up too soon before they know me.

The trouble is that she has just entered the "I only like mommy and daddy" stage that happens around 6 months and every time we put her in there she screams at the top of her lungs until they page us. Last Sunday we put her in the swing that they have and once she figured out we were gone they had to call me back'. When we take her into church she's fussy and loud there too. Unfortunately its about nap time when we are there....

 

[faithmom]

this is a newer church, we've only been going a little over a month and I don't want to make them uncomfortable by signing up too soon before they know me.

I can tell you, from having worked both in the church nursery and in the Sunday School program of our church, that any help is welcome. Even if someone came to me to say they could only help one Sunday in the entire year, I would be so greatful.

Our own Sunday school program just started, I teach 4th grade. We don't have instructors for 1st grade, 3rd grade and 5th grade. No one is offering, and, sadly, we will have to tell the parents, that they will each HAVE to work at least one Sunday for one of their kids classes, or their child can't be in. (We do have a Sunday school home program for those that don't come on Sundays, and that would be their 2nd option.) It has reached that point. It is just so sad.

I totally understand the parents who have babies that can't teach, or a person who really isn't good with any kids but their own....but the reality is that over half of those parents just drop off the kids and go out to breakfast, or go home back to bed. They see us as glorified babysitters. I even had one forget to come pick up their son last year, and another be a 1/2 an hour late on several occasions.

I see this in the Girl Scout program too. I had a mother drop off her girls at an all day event where parents were required to stay for safety reasons....it was in a big busy mall. She snuck away so she could go shopping. She didn't even leave them with snacks or water or lunch money for the day. No, this family is not hurting for money, she just always acts as if her 3 kids are a burden, and she so needs some time to "destress", and she sees the rest of the world as her access to do so.

Please don't hesitate to volunteer, even if it is as a Substitute, if what I just told you gives you any idea of what those teachers face every Sunday morning. You may be new, but what better way to make new friends!

 

[KristiLee]

I agree with faithmom. We have always been so excited to have new people offer to help (keep in mind though that if you are not able to come in CALL! LOL I don't know if some people just think they aren't really important or something but it can be very frustrating on Sunday morning when someone doesn't call in and doesn't show up and we need to get a replacement and lesson together, we have at least another moment to prep for it if someone calls in).

I would feel 100% comfortable in offering to at the very least assist here and there. You are in fact leaving your children in their care and you don't know them. Be sure to ask their requirements (background checks and applications and stuff should be in play otherwise I'd consider taking your kids out.

Do you think that would help with your baby's transitioning? To have you in there for a couple weeks to a month?

 

[Neenie1]

If it's nap time while you are in church would your baby sleep in a pram or sling or whatever.


Both of mine have spent most of their Sunday mornings up until around 9-10 months sleeping in their stroller while I listen to the sermon.


Then they get too awake and aware of what's going on around them and waiting until after we get home to have their nap. So we end up going to the "cry" room at the back of the church, then when they are too big for that, we seem to spend at least 1/2 the Sunday sermon in the creche lol. My daughter is 2, and it's only been the last 3 months I have been able to leave her there knowing that she is happy.

 

[KristiLee]

My youngest daughter slept for a few months of the first year but other than that she was wide awake.

One suggestion I would make for sure is to keep him/her up (in a stroller, car seat, lap, etc) until you are ready for him/her to want to stay down. I had a hard time with both my girls near the end of the first year because they realized they were capable of running around once I let them down. I was happy to learn how I could teach them to sit at home in a fun way so I wasn't reprimanding them for trying to go up and down the aisles at church. If I had known to do that before than I would have taught them to do that first before "letting them loose". lol It's also helped to give them boundaries (like the next chair over, and stuff like that) so they can dance around or play on the floor - since I don't want them to hate church and be bored, but I also want them to be able to sit when the time is appropriate.

 

[faithmom]

Happy lunchtime (sorry, just had to get that out!)

 

[marezee]

I've tried that with Jake...volunteering in the nursery. However, he still has a fit if i leave him there! oh well. This too shall pass! right?!

 

[Leanna]

One suggestion I would make for sure is to keep him/her up (in a stroller, car seat, lap, etc) until you are ready for him/her to want to stay down. I had a hard time with both my girls near the end of the first year because they realized they were capable of running around once I let them down. I was happy to learn how I could teach them to sit at home in a fun way so I wasn't reprimanding them for trying to go up and down the aisles at church. If I had known to do that before than I would have taught them to do that first before "letting them loose". lol It's also helped to give them boundaries (like the next chair over, and stuff like that) so they can dance around or play on the floor - since I don't want them to hate church and be bored, but I also want them to be able to sit when the time is appropriate.

It is easier to keep them from running in the aisles altogether than to let them run before the service and then stop it, that's for sure. Its also true that its easier to develop the habit you want first than to have to re-teach them later. I know what you mean.

I wish I had taught her to sleep in the stroller or the carrier when she was younger, now she's already decided she likes her crib at home and that's it ... oh and she will sleep in the car in the carseat, but not if I carry the carseat or put it in the stroller..... ahh human babies are such creatures of habit and once they don't like something its harder....

 

[KristiLee]

Oh yes... but it sure is nice to know habits can be broken and retraining is possible!! My youngest daughter used to be a REALLY light sleeper... I thought I was going to lose my mind because I could barely move while she slept, not to mention the awful time it took for her to get to sleep (she would scream for a half hour to an hour every night unless I nursed her to sleep -deep, deep sleep! ), I feared she wouldn't go back to sleep if she woke.

After many exhausting nights of training and shushing I am now able to enjoy our regular routine and after "na-night" hugs and kisses, I lay her down with her teddy and say sweetly "Go to sleep, I love you!" And walk out... she might fuss but it's no more than a moment - and we can watch loud tv, I can vacuum, it can be silent; whatever and she sleeps right through it. She also will comfort herself back to sleep if she does wake in the night... Praise God that we are intelligent creatures!!

 

[Leanna]

You know I hate that site

I think that lady is CRAZY....

There are gentler ways to accomplish the same things.

 

[KristiLee]

I don't know that I'm sure what you're implying... surely you've gently told your kids in a sing-songy/whispery voice "Now close your eyes... time to sleep... shhhhh... there... I love you... shh shh shhhhh." I stood over my baby for days - the first night for 45 minutes while laying her down over and over again all while saying "Lay down now... time to sleep... shh shh shh". I don't how much gentler I could've been. I don't beat or abuse my children into submission and it pains me to have you think such a thing about me. Yes I do pat disobedient bottoms, and with my daughter learning what exactly I wanted: her to lay down on her own, I never had to do so - at least not for a couple more weeks until she had a temper tantrum - but to say I'm not a gentle Mom is very insulting, accusatory and presumptuous. I love my girls more than you will ever know... even if you and I met every day until we entered the new gates of Jerusalem, you would see but a glimpse of how much I love and adore my children. I feel blessed every moment of every day to have them and just because you parent in your own way does not mean that I love my kids any less gently than you.

I appreciate your stand on your belief - even if I disagree with you, but I don't think you realize the effect your words can have on people. I hope you'll stop before assuming anything about that woman - because the site teaches about discipline, not the overall picture of parenting... such things we discuss on the board (don't worry, I'm not pushing you or anyone to join... I'm just informing you). There is nothing but love, gentleness, fun, and time spent with all the children of the moms of that board and it's sad to see how they struggle because people, fellow believers in the same Christ, who raise their own children up in the Lord, think they are terrible parents.

You don't really know anything about me, and yet you have done the same thing with me. Categorized me into a group of fanatic disciplinarians but that is not what we are about at all. We LOVE our children selflessly, patiently, kindly, gently and without arrogance, we do not celebrate deliberate naughtiness but we do rejoice over great attitudes. We look at their heart and get to know them on a deep personal level so we can know the heart of their situation. We protect them from harm as best as we are responsible for, we trust them at appropriate times, we hope for them and we keep on going even when it is hard.

I love my daughters so very much - and so does Elizabeth and all the other precious women I've gotten to meet on the board. My suggestions are just that - suggestions. Perhaps I'll leave them for someone who is less apt to make me feel small when I share what has worked for our family (and doesn't leave my children as robots or scared in a corner as you seem to believe).

I was just going to pm you, but I felt it necessary to clear my name for all these ladies as well as any other onlookers who might be wondering what you are referring to - since you aren't just saying you disagree with the method I shared but have implied that I am not a gentle mom, whether that was your intent or not.

Like I said, but I want to re-emphasize so you don't feel that I'm attacking you because the tone of this could be read angrily or softly... I appreciate you as my sister in Christ. I know in a world like it is today it might sound weird but the simple fact that you are a fellow Christian causes me to love you. Really, I do love you - otherwise your words really wouldn't hurt me as much as they do, even as they are said with a winking eye.

May the Lord bring abundant blessing over you and your family. Lots of love.

 

[BananaCake]

I think I missed something? What site are we talking about?

 

[KristiLee]

Sorry - it's a site that I shared a while back that Leanna disagrees with but gives (what I believe) great advice and input on training and teaching our children, including discipline. Someone who doesn't agree with spanking wouldn't like it. Sorry that it came up - it was a conversation we had a while back. If you want the site, I'll give it to you, but I don't want to offend anyone, since this is in fact a thread about SAHM's, not discipline.

 

[KristiLee]

My daughter said the funniest thing the other day. I was checking my email as she sat playing and she said "Excuse me, Mother" I never told her to call me mother, but she does now since she learned that Mama and Daddy is a Mother and Father and Gramma and Grampa is a Grandmother and Grandfather - yes she calls them Grandmother and Grandfather also... lol she's hilarious. Anyway so I answered her saying, "Yes babe?" "Uh..." She replies, "So, Mommy, what's the plan?" LOL She is 3... it was so funny to hear that come out of her mouth.

Anyone else wanna share their silly stories with their little ones?

 

[Leanna]

You don't really know anything about me, and yet you have done the same thing with me. Categorized me into a group of fanatic disciplinarians but that is not what we are about at all. We LOVE our children selflessly, patiently, kindly, gently and without arrogance, we do not celebrate deliberate naughtiness but we do rejoice over great attitudes. We look at their heart and get to know them on a deep personal level so we can know the heart of their situation. We protect them from harm as best as we are responsible for, we trust them at appropriate times, we hope for them and we keep on going even when it is hard.

I love my daughters so very much - and so does Elizabeth and all the other precious women I've gotten to meet on the board. My suggestions are just that - suggestions. Perhaps I'll leave them for someone who is less apt to make me feel small when I share what has worked for our family (and doesn't leave my children as robots or scared in a corner as you seem to believe).

I was just going to pm you, but I felt it necessary to clear my name for all these ladies as well as any other onlookers who might be wondering what you are referring to - since you aren't just saying you disagree with the method I shared but have implied that I am not a gentle mom, whether that was your intent or not.

Like I said, but I want to re-emphasize so you don't feel that I'm attacking you because the tone of this could be read angrily or softly... I appreciate you as my sister in Christ. I know in a world like it is today it might sound weird but the simple fact that you are a fellow Christian causes me to love you. Really, I do love you - otherwise your words really wouldn't hurt me as much as they do, even as they are said with a winking eye.

May the Lord bring abundant blessing over you and your family. Lots of love.

I love hearing how you love your babies.... but that lady really does freak me out.... so when I hear something that sounds like the stuff she advocates, smacking a baby or holding them down, I just hear something differently than you hear. I do hear something pretty scary! And wrong! And ungodly-- no matter how many random Bible verses she sprinkles in the middle. Maybe you read it with your mommy-filter in place and are filtering that stuff out. I know I have been that way in the past with books or websites. It is not the spanking part, its the other stuff. But yes, that's not what this thread is about. Sorry to distract.

 

[faithmom]

Good morning stay-at-homes!

Here's my stay at home list for the day:

Start the laundry
Drive the kids to school
Drink one cup of coffee on the porch (just gotta!)
Harvest the squash and tomatoes from the garden
More laundry
Do the bills
File.
E-mail tech guy about errors on hubby's website.
More laundry
shred and freeze zuchinni,
peel carrots and onions.
Make the chicken pot pie.
Pick up the kids from school.
Nag them to do their afternoon chores (only a little)
More laundry
Put the pie in the oven and cut some fruit.
Serve dinner, get kids to bed.
Bake bars for the 5th grade bake sale tomorrow.
Fold laundry.


What are all of you up to today?

 

[Leanna]

My daughter said the funniest thing the other day. I was checking my email as she sat playing and she said "Excuse me, Mother" I never told her to call me mother, but she does now since she learned that Mama and Daddy is a Mother and Father and Gramma and Grampa is a Grandmother and Grandfather - yes she calls them Grandmother and Grandfather also... lol she's hilarious. Anyway so I answered her saying, "Yes babe?" "Uh..." She replies, "So, Mommy, what's the plan?" LOL She is 3... it was so funny to hear that come out of her mouth.

Anyone else wanna share their silly stories with their little ones?

I don't know if this is silly.... but it certainly gave me pause.... yesterday we went to a friends house. David played with his little friend who isn't talking so well (he's in a speech class) and so sometimes that little boy hits David or throws things when upset. We were intervening and I was letting that boy's mom deal with it of course, but in the car on the way home David says to me,

"Mommy? Sometimes [T] hurts me."


What does one say to that??? I can only parent my own son.... and he was very polite.

 

[marezee]

Good morning stay-at-homes!

Here's my stay at home list for the day:

Start the laundry
Drive the kids to school
Drink one cup of coffee on the porch (just gotta!)
Harvest the squash and tomatoes from the garden
More laundry
Do the bills
File.
E-mail tech guy about errors on hubby's website.
More laundry
shred and freeze zuchinni,
peel carrots and onions.
Make the chicken pot pie.
Pick up the kids from school.
Nag them to do their afternoon chores (only a little)
More laundry
Put the pie in the oven and cut some fruit.
Serve dinner, get kids to bed.
Bake bars for the 5th grade bake sale tomorrow.
Fold laundry.


What are all of you up to today?

wow! now that's a list! I don't even want to put mine on here! LOL!