Right forum for this? Need help badly

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Ok, I really need help to understand what is going on so that maybe I can get some help: please bear with me for how long this is.

I have phobias of my bf liking other girls more than me. He does nothing wrong. My mind goes crazy over things that I know they shouldn't. To me the fears are very real. I know usually what siuations are right and wrong (or ones to worry about) but my emotions don't always respond the right way. I can know that a situation is perfectly harmless, but my mind won't accept and believe that it is.

Take this scenario: my bf goes on a day snowboarding/snowmaching trip with his family and some other people. There is a girl going along who is near my age. I get so upset and fearful that he will have so much fun hanging out with her that he will like her better. I know this is stupid to feel this way, but the feeling that he will do these things are so real that I will shake with fear and cry just thinking about how he will be someplace where there will be another girl who he might find attractive.

I have problems with low self esteem. I am delusional (I imagine scenaries in my mind about something happening even though the situation that my bf is in is perfectly normal). I get jealous easily. I had a hard childhood with physical, verbal, and emotional abuse from my Dad, and verbal and emotional from my Mom.

Does anyone know what I can do to make these feelings go away? I don't like to feel that a certain situation is wrong when I know that the situation is right...and I want these feelings to go away because they are driving me crazy. Any ideas, suggestions? (PS. I can't afford a counselor...)

 

[Jesus-is-the-1]

I'm not sure what state you live in, but I know in lots of states there are programs for free or nearly free counseling sessons. If not, how about a respectable lady at your church, kind of like a mentor? It helps to discuss issues with older, wiser people. Pray and ask God for someone in your life that can guide you through these issues.

I hope you feel better soon. I'll remember you in my prayers.

 

[vimto]

Just to say that from what you write - I don't think you are delusional nor phobic, which is good!

But you do seem to be jealous and dwelling on it too much. I think you are right that this is linked to low self esteem.

Please think more kindly about yourself, this destructive thinking is likely to do you no good.

Talk to someone - a pastor, a close friend.... Know you are loved in Jesus and that He has given you many beautiful things (which your BF and others can see). The past is one thing - the future another. Don't let your future be chained to your past. Give it up to Jesus. Let the burnden go....

Yeah - it all takes prayer, patience and practice... but it's worth it.

Chin up and know you are special!

In the Lord.