Relationships

[PrincessK]

I've never been in a relationship before and all of my friends who have been in relationships or are in relationships have boyfriends who give them problems like they will stop calling or become disrepectful toawrds them. I know all relationships are different but is this the kind of stuff that men do in most relationships? If I had a guy who starts to act like that towards me I don't think that I would give him another chance. So I might be alone for awhile.

 

[Peacemonger]

Yup, you nailed it. We guys find nothing more enjoyable than to stop calling the girls we care about and then also treat them badly. You figured us out, I'm afraid.

Or maybe that's just how some dudes act but not all of them? Or maybe they stop calling if they're super busy with something.

Never lose hope. It's silly to think that a relationship is nothing more than a guy not calling.

 

[Tenorvoice]

Its sad to say that I have noticed a far amount of those types of relationships going on round here.

A number of years ago, I had a few female freinds that pretty much had the requirements for someone to "date" them....No job, lives at home w/ parents, mootcher, alchololic, drug user, abbusive (mental and physical)....in other words just plain loosers.

IMO this problem is deeper than most people know. They are in fear that if said person were to leave that no one else would "love" them. Well those types of relationship do not have any love in the IMO.

1CO 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
1CO 13:5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1CO 13:6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
1CO 13:7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1CO 13:8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.

That is TRUE love.

 

[IseekTheTruth]

All relationships have their own problems. Sometimes the relationship itself is a problem and shouldn't have been started in the first place... Sometimes one of the individuals just isn't as mature as the other, are in different places in their lives, or one is just an all-around sleezebag (which indicates poor judgement in the other).

Don't write it off. There's a difference between a mistake or bad habit, and a flaw in character. The former are fixable, the later well... isn't fixable anytime in the near future, and certainly not by you. As for mistakes or bad habits though... that's where forgiveness and communication are key. I'm guessing it's just as hard to find quality Christian guys as it is Christian girls. I feel ya', but don't universalize. They're out there .

 

[winglovesall]

I certainly think those points made before me are valid to think about.

Relationships...what can I say...

I think from a Christian point of view, you're in a relationship because
a) God wants you to and God plans for you to
b) You want someone to support you
c) You want to strengthen your relationship with God

And as for men's habits, they're not all true, actually. God made men different from women though - so there's obvious differences when he first created us. However, I don't think God did create that difference you stated.

It really depends on the character - some men act in a certain way so that other men in society accept them and that's charisma. There's an obvious difference between character and charisma. Men who think it's normal to stop calling their girlfriend because other men do it is an example of charisma. So you need to becareful because their character maybe different from their charisma.

 

[ThinkofHim]

It takes two to tango.

While I do not excuse bad behavior of the part of persons...........oft times it is a reaction to the same-in another.

He quit calling? Perhaps something was done that made him want to escape.

He became disrespectful?

Was he respected?

 

[kristalball]

It takes two to tango.

While I do not excuse bad behavior of the part of persons...........oft times it is a reaction to the same-in another.

He quit calling? Perhaps something was done that made him want to escape.

He became disrespectful?

Was he respected?

Totally agree.

Most people only hear one side of the story and base assumptions off of that.

 

[jesusxchick]

Relationships can't be labeled by just the guy being the one to stop calling or being rude to their girlfriend. The relationship goes both ways and you have to look at every aspect of it. There are some guys out there who are like that, but there are also some girls who are like that too. A relationship takes two people and it can be a tough thing to deal with, but it helps you grow not only within yourself, but with your partner as well.

There can be many reasons why guys/girls do things that aren't completely cool to their partner. It could be because life is getting confusing and they don't know what to do, they need some space, they don't feel that the relationship is there anymore, they really do want to be rude, or other reasons.

Relationships aren't something to just label because you've heard bad things. Every relationship is different and you have to experience them on your own to realize what's out there.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

in any kind of relationship, people only treat you the way you allow them too.

You allow yourself to be disrespected, that is all that will happen.

 

[Gardener101]

Not all relationships are like those experienced by your friends. It could also be that they tend to only tell you when they have problems, but forget to mention the really good times, just in case you might feel a bit envious or lonely. I know I used to do that around a single friend of mine.

G.

 

[Weasel7711]

I've never been in a relationship before and all of my friends who have been in relationships or are in relationships have boyfriends who give them problems like they will stop calling or become disrepectful toawrds them. I know all relationships are different but is this the kind of stuff that men do in most relationships? If I had a guy who starts to act like that towards me I don't think that I would give him another chance. So I might be alone for awhile.

you have to look around for a guy who will learn to love you for who you are despite bad times you may go through, usually that can only happen if the man's relationship with God is solid.

 

[PrincessK]

Oh believe me they tell me about the good times they have with their boyfriends. When their boyfriends start acting up they don't do anything to deserve it. If my boyfriend started acting this way and it becomes a common thing I would think that something is wrong there. Maybe I'm wrong but I would not want to end up marrying some miserable man.

 

[Llauralin]

Are you sure they didn't do anything? Sometimes we do things to hurt people and don't even know it. Of course, the guy would still be wrong, because he should tell his girfriend what she did to upset him rather than just walking away, but anyway...