Relationships

[mld3three]

How do you know if a dating relationship with someone is what God wants you to do? What evidence will you see if he wants you with that person?

I have dated before, and 98% of the time I ended up not growing spiritually or worse seeming to go backwards in my faith. I don't want to make the same mistakes that I have made over and over once again. Could you help me out here, please?

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Well, what have you learned from your mistakes?  That's a place to start.

 

[mld3three]

I have learned that if you jump into something then its bound to go wrong. I also found that unless you really listen to someone unstead of just waiting for them to finish talking then you can solve alot of problems. Its best to know the person before you date them. I can't think of anything else off hand.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Hmm...there's no easy or short ansewr to the question. So here's a good general answer that I believe is usually the root cause of your trouble.
I think when you start dating, you get wrapped up in the other person. You end up putting God on the back burner and that is a dangerous thing to do. You'll trick yourself into thinking that that's not really happening.
Another thingthat kind of ties into it is that there is something missing in us. A lot of times we try to fill that something with another person, when the hole can only be filled with God.
There, I think these things are pretty common.

 

[ZiSunka]

I don't know if you are becoming sexual in your relationships, but if you are, you must learn that even the most godly people ruin their relationships with sex. Sex is emotional, and binding, and it supercedes everything else when making decisions about the quality and future of the relationship.

Sex in a dating relationship gets in the way of growing and knowing each other, and because it is sin, it damages your connection to God, just at the time when you need His leading the most--in selecting your life partner!

Like I said, I don't know if you are sexually active in these relationships, and I'm not pointing any fingers, but if you are, THAT is likely what is ruining your relationships.

 

[GraftMeIn]

Good question, I can't realy say what type of evidence God might give someone about a relationship. I'm sure that for each person it would be different. God reveals things to each of us in a unique way. The best thing to do, I would think is pray about the situation and ask God to show you the answer you're looking for somehow.

If a relationship is causing you to fall backwards. Then I doubt it is a relationship you should persue. Something to be careful of when entering a relationship might be. How open and honest you can be with that other person. If you find yourself feeling like you need to hide something from another person (especially anything that has to do with God) that's not a good thing.

Something else we do when entering a new relationship, Is worry about how we can please that other person and make them happy. Sometimes we may push God aside and worry less about pleasing him, so we can please the other person. When we start trying to please another person, and push God aside in order to do that, we have placed that other person first in our life instead of God. And it is God that should always remain first in our life.

We also might do things we normaly wouldn't do, or know we shouldn't do, in order to make that other person like us. This is another thing that might cause us to fall away from God.

If the other person follows God, and keeps his ways. Then the two of you should be able to build up each others faith, and serve as a light to each other. God will work to strengthen your relationship with each other, as well as with him, and the two of you would work together in order to strengthen each others relationship with God.

 

[Smilin]

The only advice I can give you is from my own personal relationship
with God. If you put your total trust in him, he will guide and protect
you. I don't know the circumstances of your previous relationships,
but something to consider: Were you putting God second in your past
relationships?

Other words of encouragement I can offer:
Just because your dating someone who isn't
a Christian, doesn't mean they won't become
one later in life. My wife and I were not
followers of Christ when we first met. Over
time, we have found that God's way is the ONLY
way. Any other path leads to despair, destitution,
financial ruin, etc.

Good Luck and I will pray he guides you!

 

[mld3three]

lambslove-

I am not sexually active, and I will not be until I am married. I don't want my wedding night to be just another night; I want it to be special.

 

[mld3three]

Thank you everyone for your responces I greatly appreciate your input and your prayers.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Lambslove makes a good point. A lot of people have that problem. Sexually active doesn't mean just intercourse. Whether you are or aren't involved in that, it's good info to tuck away.
Ok. Evidence.
My wife is an absolute pillar of faith. And the way she lived spoke to me. She helped bring me closer to God. I knew she would be a good wife.
I know you're sick of hearing this one but, you'll know when it's the right one. That's how it worked for me.

 

[ZiSunka]

Originally posted by mld3three
lambslove-

I am not sexually active, and I will not be until I am married. I don't want my wedding night to be just another night; I want it to be special.

Praise God! That is the best choice to make!!

 

[fieldmouse3]

*sigh*
I think the whole idea of "knowing" when you've found the right person is romantic.

Hmm....doesn't really answer your question, but I had to throw that in!

 

[mld3three]

Its all good fieldmouse. It is romantic isn't it.