Dear The New Boss,
You really are taking the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse].
I'm stressed out because:
* tomorrow is report day;
* some still haven't been written; and
* a few people (mostly you) have been circulating reports as attachments rather than sharing links to the documents on the network. This is how multiple versions enter the work flow.
As usual, you strolled in at 09:30 and will probably leave soon after 17:00. So much for a full day's work. But wait, it gets even better. You disappeared for close to an hour for lunch (we have 30 minutes, but employer is flexible) but have just come back and sat down to eat! [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] have you been doing the last hour? Come to think of it, you do this nearly every day.
You work short days, take 90 minute lunches, spend ages rolling cigarettes. Then you focus on pointless things, like reviewing someone's draft of a new report template. There are reports to sort out NOW, and you still have minutes to write up from a meeting last week, so why are you wasting time on 'fixing' something that's not broken?!?
Here's hoping you fail your probationary period.