Redneck's Club

[Zakath]

"

I can make the 1st one sound like it's all one word. In fact we used to play tricks on people we did not know by going up to them and acting like we knew em and saying that--the reactions were hilarious. I used to run a furniture store in a "small" town in northern Alabama and I would get delivery directions like

"You know where Sheriff so&so lives"?

Turn Where the old yellar school bus "used to be"

and my personal favorite "Take a right by the 3 plastic cows"

In order to get customers to give you a street address you had to ask them for their "911" address or otherwise this is the stuff you'd get.

We just got our 911 addy last year. Before that, directions were dependent on the age of the speaker. The nearest intersection was with a road called by three different names, depending on how long the individual had lived in the county... if it was over 15 years, the road was "Brown Shop Road" (since Mr. Brown had a blacksmith shop on the corner for about 50 years but it burned down about 25 years ago), for younger folks it was "State Police Road" (since the Police Barracks were located there), and for newbies it's "Bardane Road" (after the name of the industrial park located down from the State Police Barracks).

It's all part of the charm of living here in WV.

 

[Wickwoman]

We just got our 911 addy last year. Before that, directions were dependent on the age of the speaker. The nearest intersection was with a road called by three different names, depending on how long the individual had lived in the county... if it was over 15 years, the road was "Brown Shop Road" (since Mr. Brown had a blacksmith shop on the corner for about 50 years but it burned down about 25 years ago), for younger folks it was "State Police Road" (since the Police Barracks were located there), and for newbies it's "Bardane Road" (after the name of the industrial park located down from the State Police Barracks).

It's all part of the charm of living here in WV.

I love that. We have roads like that around here - Iron Bridge Road is River Road. It's fun to give directions for roads with a/k/a's.

 

[Zakath]

I love that. We have roads like that around here - Iron Bridge Road is River Road. It's fun to give directions for roads with a/k/a's.

One practice that always drove me to distraction was the phrase, "Turn right on the second road before you get to the bridge..."

If I'm not from around there, how am I supposed to know where the stupid bridge is in the first place?!

 

[Juvenal]

Shucks, Zak, just go to the bridge and turn back! So I'm caught up for a while, but now I've got to do some moseying about too. Catch ya'll later.

 

[Redneck Crow]

Did someone post above me? There's a box, but I don't see anyone.

 

[Juvenal]

"Get a body, lao tzu, get a body, lao tzu ...," drones the Redneck Harpy. I don't want a body. I don't even want an avatar. What I really want is for Zak to plug in with a messenger. Oh, and some redneck smileys would be nice too.

Where's my :beer:, :neck:? We need something to lure :BillyBob: into this swamp, too, assuming he hasn't already been here and been banned already.

Where's that possum?!

 

[Redneck Crow]

Another post with no one in it! Eeek!

 

[Wickwoman]

BillyBob is a company man. He's loyal to the core. I'll have to give him that. I have lured a few here. But he won't be one of em. Even the temptation of cyber flirting won't cave his resolve.

 

[Wickwoman]

I miss these two the most. . .

 

[Juvenal]

Oh, wow, is that a blast from the past! Hadn't given old Ninnyva a thought in months. Are those smileys still active? I thought she only bought that one for a year. I don't remember who gave Zak his, but I think it was probably Eric, so I guess that one will stay active forever. Still, I don't think they blessed many other heathen with mocking smileys, so I guess it's as close to a badge of honor as you could get from them.

"If you can't beat 'em, make 'em smiley."

ErinMarie keeps bugging me to post over there again. But I'm afraid that road show has moved on. When they can't even invite a YEC into the camp for a Battle Royale without ganging up on him, that kind of says it all. That's why I was running the Bob-distraction game with ThePhy just before Eric booted me. I've still got my emails with Sam Lamerson after that one. For a while, I was kinda tempted to post them. But the urge is well past now. Better to trash them from outside the tent.

I know the real reason BillyBob won't post over here, by the way. He's afraid they won't ban him, and that'll spoil his perfect record outside TOL.

 

[Zakath]

Shucks, Zak, just go to the bridge and turn back! So I'm caught up for a while, but now I've got to do some moseying about too. Catch ya'll later.

Only you would suggest passing my destination by just to fulfill a set of directions.

Sure you weren't a Calvinist in a previous life?

 

[Zakath]

Oh, wow, is that a blast from the past! Hadn't given old Ninnyva a thought in months. Are those smileys still active? I thought she only bought that one for a year. I don't remember who gave Zak his, but I think it was probably Eric, so I guess that one will stay active forever. Still, I don't think they blessed many other heathen with mocking smileys, so I guess it's as close to a badge of honor as you could get from them.

Ninny was the first one to ban me. I think she beat Poly to the punch. And Eric did give me the smilie, yes. He seemed to find a bit of himself in my life story. Identification can be a good thing for apologists.

They've become a bit too much like hothouse plants now. Can't abide anything outside very limited parameters... Enyart's religion looks more cultish every month.

I know the real reason BillyBob won't post over here, by the way. He's afraid they won't ban him, and that'll spoil his perfect record outside TOL.

I think they'd eventually ban him. It just takes 7 warnings or so... or stealing money from the collection plate!

 

[erinmarie]

Oh my goodness WHAT IS UP!???

 

[Redneck Crow]

Howdy, erinmarie. Get yourself a body--we already have one disembodied voice floating around in here.

 

[Wickwoman]

Oh, wow, is that a blast from the past! Hadn't given old Ninnyva a thought in months. Are those smileys still active? I thought she only bought that one for a year. I don't remember who gave Zak his, but I think it was probably Eric, so I guess that one will stay active forever. Still, I don't think they blessed many other heathen with mocking smileys, so I guess it's as close to a badge of honor as you could get from them.

"If you can't beat 'em, make 'em smiley."

Hey! I never got a smiley. Now I'm insulted.

But I did get a faked pole from mysterious TOL user #2 named Novice. Surprisingly I was to be banned per the fake pole - popular opinion, you know. Then Knight/Eric (a totally different user, you see) came and banned TOL user #2 named Novice (not at all similar to Eric) for faking a pole. My hero!

Ironically, only a week later I was banned for real. But I'm back at TOL now. Only for brief visits for things like giving you a blast from the past.

 

[erinmarie]

Wickwoman, that kind of poll is not spelled pole!

Silly Wickwoman!

Okay, how's this for a body?

 

[Redneck Crow]

Not bad. Y'all might want to consider clothes...

 

[Redneck Crow]

Ok, they loaded now.

 

[Wickwoman]

Wickwoman, that kind of poll is not spelled pole!

Silly Wickwoman!

Okay, how's this for a body?

Oh how I've missed your condescention and name calling. Thank goodness you're here now.

 

[erinmarie]

Cute cute cute! I am too cute!