It’s painful now but the lesson will aid you in future relationships if you learn it. Adversity is a truth serum. It allows you to gauge their position and yours from their perspective.
Just because someone likes you or tells you they care doesn’t mean permanence. Every one has a line. They may not admit it or acknowledge the few who can cross it without injury. But it exists.
Value is a continuum. It isn’t one and done like most assume. That’s why partings occur. The most difficult lesson in relating is inequality. Our value for another is rarely met in equal measure. Nor do they meet the same needs.
Opposition wasn’t the catalyst for its demise. It revealed problems beneath the surface that hadn’t come forth. You alluded to this in your OP. Offense was already there. We respond to it differently. The expectation of forgiveness based on your actions is shortsighted and doesn’t take into account their character. That’s your guideline.
It doesn’t matter what we would do. We’re not in their shoes. When you recall her reaction in other scenarios you’ll probably see a pattern that explains how you reached this point.
This isn’t about her at all. You need to ask yourself some hard questions and be brutally honest. Were you too permissible or neglected to put boundaries in place? People only do what we permit. It’s up to us to establish parameters. Or they’ll run roughshod over you.
You need to ask yourself why letting go was difficult when her regard changed. Why did you need to makeup? I don’t want the answers. They’re for your edification.
Sometimes we can be over invested in others or allow them to fill a void within. When this happens bad things follow. You want companions that are good to and good for you. They won’t be perfect. But their commitment is solid.
I don’t fight for friends. I’ll fight for my husband to honor my vow to God and my daughter because she’s my bone. My family to a point. But I’m not begging the rest to stay. If they want to leave I’ll let them.
Few are truly irreplaceable. The ones who are should feel you’re the same. They want to stay put and so do you. You’re in it for the long haul. Why would I cling to someone who isn’t?
I’m not swift to call someone friend or bring them to my bosom. I look at their character and actions. They’ll earn the term. I won’t bestow it because they’re nice, share my faith, or other interests. You need more than that.
Faux relating is commonplace. Sometimes you’re occupying space or meeting a need for a season. But they aren’t dialed in. You can’t allow weaknesses or lack to inspire the bond. It’s one-sided and you’re going to get hurt.
You won’t see the imbalance when its in the drivers seat. But when it isn’t the truth is obvious and you can deal with them accordingly. You can be an ear, give counsel, or assist without getting sucked in. You’ll be mindful of your susceptibilities and exercise caution.
See the parties involved and circumstances as they are. Don’t allow emotion to cloud your judgment or create self-neglect. You’re worthy of love and care. You must choose companions who feel the same of their own volition.
You’ll have wonderful connections when you do. I live by these principles and they’ve served me well. God bless.
