'Sup chums! Earlier tonight (hang on, that's yesterday...) (in the UK of course) I had a strange feeling come over me. For the last two years or so I've been what I like to call a militant atheist, I'd happily argue with anyone who displayed the slightest trace of religion and ended up living with what was essentially an atheist faith (in my own view at the time, yes, this is a paradox!) seeing as I'd stopped listening to evidence and had utterly convinced myself that there was no god, that prayer didn't work and all that jazz.
But over the past... four days or so something changed inside me, that militant atheist had lain down his weapons and gone for a smoke, which is why I started posting on here (well, that change and a rather angry referral by a close friend of mine), slowly I've started to really think about it and I'm gradually starting to understand the possibility of god. I'll say this now, this worries me deeply.
Over the past few months I've managed to prove to myself (whether this is right or wrong remains to be seen) that God is imaginary, that the bible is nothing but lies and that Jesus wasn't as great as he was cracked up to be. Now I've got a problem, if I accept Christianity and start believing in god (which is possible) I will end up potentially hating myself for agreeing with a religion which (through my MAism) I've not found all that nice. It would also mean giving up lots of things that I think are important, my moral position on homosexuality and the like. So here's the crux of the problem (pun intended), if I become a Christian and all that fire and brimstone hell and whatnot is true, then I'll have to give up my morals to avoid it, but if I remain militant atheist, or at least moderate atheist I can keep my morals as they are and be happy with myself for it, I just don't know what to do...
