Reasonable adjustments

[Catherineanne]

I dabble a bit with zentangle, but while it might be true that with adequate teaching and practice I could produce "real art" I am a long way from having attained such skill.

Mind you, I tell other people the same thing about singing. There's no such thing as a "bad singer," just someone who has not learned.

10,000 hours, apparently.

I have certainly spent (wasted?) that long, and more, painting.

I used to sing in choirs years ago, but I don't sing in church any more; a side effect of having C PTSD & DID.

 

[Catherineanne]

I am not sure if anyone remembers the initial situation with my church, but there has been an important change. I knew the Vicar was due to go on holiday for 3 weeks from next Monday, so I went to a bereavement group at the parish centre today, partly at least to talk to him.

The outcome of it was a heartfelt apology from the Vicar, and a promise to make the reasonable adjustment I have asked for. The Vicar will try to ensure that I never again hear a link made between mental health and demon possession (good!), and if by some unlucky chance someone does make this link again he will say something as soon as he can afterwards to undo the harm; just a simple reminder that there really is no connection at all.

And the Vicar rang again later in the day to thank me for going to the parish centre. He says it will be easier for him to go on holiday now, so that is all good.

I am not sure why it took quite so long to get to this point, but I am grateful to be here at last. I have three weeks now until the Vicar is back again, so there is no need to hurry back to church, but at least when I am ready I have somewhere to go.

So that is all good. I am sad it happened, and the pain is still there, but I hope it will fade in time.

 

[Paidiske]

Great outcome, Catherineanne! Good for you for articulating what you needed, and sticking to your guns. I'm glad your priest has got to a good place with it (even if it did take a while).

 

[Catherineanne]

Great outcome, Catherineanne! Good for you for articulating what you needed, and sticking to your guns. I'm glad your priest has got to a good place with it (even if it did take a while).

Thanks, Paidiske. I am relieved to have got through all of this, and I hope some lessons will have been learned from it.

(One lesson might be that I rarely ask for anything, but when I do would much prefer to be listened to, rather than discounted.)

 

[pdudgeon]

I am not sure if anyone remembers the initial situation with my church, but there has been an important change. I knew the Vicar was due to go on holiday for 3 weeks from next Monday, so I went to a bereavement group at the parish centre today, partly at least to talk to him.

The outcome of it was a heartfelt apology from the Vicar, and a promise to make the reasonable adjustment I have asked for. The Vicar will try to ensure that I never again hear a link made between mental health and demon possession (good!), and if by some unlucky chance someone does make this link again he will say something as soon as he can afterwards to undo the harm; just a simple reminder that there really is no connection at all.

And the Vicar rang again later in the day to thank me for going to the parish centre. He says it will be easier for him to go on holiday now, so that is all good.

I am not sure why it took quite so long to get to this point, but I am grateful to be here at last. I have three weeks now until the Vicar is back again, so there is no need to hurry back to church, but at least when I am ready I have somewhere to go.

So that is all good. I am sad it happened, and the pain is still there, but I hope it will fade in time.

this is good news! i'm glad for you that things turned out well all around. i know that's a load off your back and off the vicar's as well.

 

[Catherineanne]

this is good news! i'm glad for you that things turned out well all around. i know that's a load off your back and off the vicar's as well.

Thanks, pdudgeon. It certainly is a great relief.