I was chrismated August 19, 2006 in an OCA parish. I was sixteen at the time. I won't rehash me entire conversion story because it's somewhere in the sticky thread (I think I posted it in 2007? 2011? who knows). Needless to say, I've been Orthodox for a while. I've been serving in the US military for the last ten years and in that time I've had nineteen addresses across seven US states, visited close to 70 parishes of (almost) every jurisdiction, and have been a tithing member of four different jurisdictions, on both US coasts and the Deep South. Suffice to say, I've experienced a few different flavors of Orthodoxy across different parts of the USA.
Like anyone else, my faith has had some highs and lows in that time. I always knew exactly who I am: I am an American, and I am an Orthodox Christian. My family has been on this continent as far back as the 1680s, so I am as American as anyone in the Old World is Russian, Greek, Arab, whatever. Where I grew up in the Pacific Northwest, pan-Orthodoxy was the norm. Whenever Archbishop Benjamin (OCA) visited my parish in Washington state, the visiting priests were not strictly OCA priests, but also included the Greek, Antiochian, Serbian, and after 2007, ROCOR priests. At least one from each jurisdiction in the state. Likewise whenever their bishops were in town (rarely) we also sent a priest or two to represent us. We had pan-Orthodox vespers on every Sunday in Lent from Sunday of Orthodoxy through Palm Sunday. It was also normal to visit other parishes throughout the Puget Sound and the great benefit of the pan-Orthodox vespers was that whenever you visited a parish you had a friend that you could meet; someone to introduce you to the rest of the parish and ensure that you were treated like family. Despite the current schism between the Russians and Constantinople, I was told that last year's Sunday of Orthodoxy vespers was attended by both ROCOR and Greek priests, but neither one concelebrated because they did not want the other to feel excluded. They were both there because they knew that we as Orthodox are a very small minority in this country and it is more important to keep the channels of communication open, rather then closed. The Orthodoxy of the Pacific Northwest when I left for the Navy in 2012 was a region-wide family affair. In fact, when the OCA had their All-American Council in Seattle back in 2011, every single parish in the Puget Sound volunteered to help in some way. We had chalices that were lent out from every parish of every jurisdiction. A Romanian man donated his limo service to pick up bishops. A Ukrainian family donated their trucking business to bring liturgical items from the East Coast. Some of the Greeks helped cover the hotel costs. ROCOR opened up their cathedral so people could venerate the place where St John of Shanghai reposed. The Serbs, Antiochians, Greeks, ROCOR, and OCA all got together to create a Pacific Northwest Pan-Orthodox choir just for the Council.
And then I came to the Mid-Atlantic DC area a year and a half ago on military orders. Finding a parish home here has been exceedingly difficult. No longer is Orthodoxy a family affair here. Instead, one's ethnicity and job are what "matter" in order to be welcomed into a parish by the laity. No longer are there good relations here even for parishes of the same jurisdiction. No longer is Orthodoxy one big tribe, instead being Orthodox comes second to being Russian, Greek, Arab, Romanian, or convert (because God forbid we call people American and Orthodox in the same sentence). This place has been a huge test of my faith because of the ethnic chauvinism and constant one-up-man-ship of "my people suffered more then you" or "you celebrate Christmas on December 25th? Heretic" or "you celebrate Christmas on January 7th? Backward barbarian." Or my personal favorite "I can't ever attend a parish of X jurisdiction because of something that Bishop Y did even though he's been dead for years". This place is completely devoid of any sense of compassion for other traditions or sense of belonging to a greater Church beyond the local parish and it is driving me up a wall. There are 25 Orthodox parishes and missions in the greater DC area (not including Baltimore) and each and every one of them acts as if the other 24 do not even exist - with the exception of the mission I attend.
For the first time in my life I am considering just quitting Orthodoxy. I am tired of the hostility. I am tired of parishes hoarding their relics and miraculous icons to themselves like the man who buried his one talent. I am tired of the ethnic chauvinism, racism, and ethnocentric Orthodoxy here where St Paul's words to the Galatians fall on deaf ears, "For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise" (Galatians 3: 26-29).
I am tired of this ghetto mentality. I am tired of the paranoia. I am tired of the complete refusal to remotely identify with the land that your grandfathers willingly fled to three generations ago. I am tired of people calling English a barbarian language not worthy of being worshiped in. I am tired of the constant unending talk of politics. I am tired of Orthodox Christians basing their friendships on political party lines. I am tired of us acting like none of our neighboring Orthodox parishes exist just because the music is a little different. I am tired of being called some sort of ethnic-phobe just because I don't embrace some other ethnic group's ethnic-ness (remember, I'm an American and my family has been for 340 years). I am tired of people bashing American culture. I am tired of being told I need to learn about some other ethnic group's troubles when that same ethnic group refuses to learn mine. I am tired of the superior attitude we have about our own traditions. I am tired of people treating me like a second-class citizen just because my ancestors hailed from Western Europe. And I am tired of people acting like their jurisdiction has the monopoly on anything and everything that defines what is and isn't Orthodox and all others are "not real Orthodox like we are".
In the words of John Coffey from The Green Mile, "Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other".
Forgive me for the rant, but this is exactly why the perception of Orthodoxy is that of a regressive, oppressive Church. This is why people do not become Orthodox. And this is why Orthodoxy will always be viewed as a foreign institution in this country unwelcoming and uninviting to Americans.
There is a very short sermon that I believe was related to Metropolitan Anthony of Sourouzh, "Last night a woman came to vespers. She was a single mother and one of you ran her out because she was not wearing a headscarf. Whoever that was, her salvation is now on your soul."
How many people's salvation do we have on ours?
Forgive me.
