RANT: Spiritually Drained

E.C.

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I was chrismated August 19, 2006 in an OCA parish. I was sixteen at the time. I won't rehash me entire conversion story because it's somewhere in the sticky thread (I think I posted it in 2007? 2011? who knows). Needless to say, I've been Orthodox for a while. I've been serving in the US military for the last ten years and in that time I've had nineteen addresses across seven US states, visited close to 70 parishes of (almost) every jurisdiction, and have been a tithing member of four different jurisdictions, on both US coasts and the Deep South. Suffice to say, I've experienced a few different flavors of Orthodoxy across different parts of the USA.

Like anyone else, my faith has had some highs and lows in that time. I always knew exactly who I am: I am an American, and I am an Orthodox Christian. My family has been on this continent as far back as the 1680s, so I am as American as anyone in the Old World is Russian, Greek, Arab, whatever. Where I grew up in the Pacific Northwest, pan-Orthodoxy was the norm. Whenever Archbishop Benjamin (OCA) visited my parish in Washington state, the visiting priests were not strictly OCA priests, but also included the Greek, Antiochian, Serbian, and after 2007, ROCOR priests. At least one from each jurisdiction in the state. Likewise whenever their bishops were in town (rarely) we also sent a priest or two to represent us. We had pan-Orthodox vespers on every Sunday in Lent from Sunday of Orthodoxy through Palm Sunday. It was also normal to visit other parishes throughout the Puget Sound and the great benefit of the pan-Orthodox vespers was that whenever you visited a parish you had a friend that you could meet; someone to introduce you to the rest of the parish and ensure that you were treated like family. Despite the current schism between the Russians and Constantinople, I was told that last year's Sunday of Orthodoxy vespers was attended by both ROCOR and Greek priests, but neither one concelebrated because they did not want the other to feel excluded. They were both there because they knew that we as Orthodox are a very small minority in this country and it is more important to keep the channels of communication open, rather then closed. The Orthodoxy of the Pacific Northwest when I left for the Navy in 2012 was a region-wide family affair. In fact, when the OCA had their All-American Council in Seattle back in 2011, every single parish in the Puget Sound volunteered to help in some way. We had chalices that were lent out from every parish of every jurisdiction. A Romanian man donated his limo service to pick up bishops. A Ukrainian family donated their trucking business to bring liturgical items from the East Coast. Some of the Greeks helped cover the hotel costs. ROCOR opened up their cathedral so people could venerate the place where St John of Shanghai reposed. The Serbs, Antiochians, Greeks, ROCOR, and OCA all got together to create a Pacific Northwest Pan-Orthodox choir just for the Council.


And then I came to the Mid-Atlantic DC area a year and a half ago on military orders. Finding a parish home here has been exceedingly difficult. No longer is Orthodoxy a family affair here. Instead, one's ethnicity and job are what "matter" in order to be welcomed into a parish by the laity. No longer are there good relations here even for parishes of the same jurisdiction. No longer is Orthodoxy one big tribe, instead being Orthodox comes second to being Russian, Greek, Arab, Romanian, or convert (because God forbid we call people American and Orthodox in the same sentence). This place has been a huge test of my faith because of the ethnic chauvinism and constant one-up-man-ship of "my people suffered more then you" or "you celebrate Christmas on December 25th? Heretic" or "you celebrate Christmas on January 7th? Backward barbarian." Or my personal favorite "I can't ever attend a parish of X jurisdiction because of something that Bishop Y did even though he's been dead for years". This place is completely devoid of any sense of compassion for other traditions or sense of belonging to a greater Church beyond the local parish and it is driving me up a wall. There are 25 Orthodox parishes and missions in the greater DC area (not including Baltimore) and each and every one of them acts as if the other 24 do not even exist - with the exception of the mission I attend.


For the first time in my life I am considering just quitting Orthodoxy. I am tired of the hostility. I am tired of parishes hoarding their relics and miraculous icons to themselves like the man who buried his one talent. I am tired of the ethnic chauvinism, racism, and ethnocentric Orthodoxy here where St Paul's words to the Galatians fall on deaf ears, "For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise" (Galatians 3: 26-29).
I am tired of this ghetto mentality. I am tired of the paranoia. I am tired of the complete refusal to remotely identify with the land that your grandfathers willingly fled to three generations ago. I am tired of people calling English a barbarian language not worthy of being worshiped in. I am tired of the constant unending talk of politics. I am tired of Orthodox Christians basing their friendships on political party lines. I am tired of us acting like none of our neighboring Orthodox parishes exist just because the music is a little different. I am tired of being called some sort of ethnic-phobe just because I don't embrace some other ethnic group's ethnic-ness (remember, I'm an American and my family has been for 340 years). I am tired of people bashing American culture. I am tired of being told I need to learn about some other ethnic group's troubles when that same ethnic group refuses to learn mine. I am tired of the superior attitude we have about our own traditions. I am tired of people treating me like a second-class citizen just because my ancestors hailed from Western Europe. And I am tired of people acting like their jurisdiction has the monopoly on anything and everything that defines what is and isn't Orthodox and all others are "not real Orthodox like we are".
In the words of John Coffey from The Green Mile, "Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other".

Forgive me for the rant, but this is exactly why the perception of Orthodoxy is that of a regressive, oppressive Church. This is why people do not become Orthodox. And this is why Orthodoxy will always be viewed as a foreign institution in this country unwelcoming and uninviting to Americans.
There is a very short sermon that I believe was related to Metropolitan Anthony of Sourouzh, "Last night a woman came to vespers. She was a single mother and one of you ran her out because she was not wearing a headscarf. Whoever that was, her salvation is now on your soul."
How many people's salvation do we have on ours?

Forgive me.
 

Yeshua HaDerekh

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I was chrismated August 19, 2006 in an OCA parish. I was sixteen at the time. I won't rehash me entire conversion story because it's somewhere in the sticky thread (I think I posted it in 2007? 2011? who knows). Needless to say, I've been Orthodox for a while. I've been serving in the US military for the last ten years and in that time I've had nineteen addresses across seven US states, visited close to 70 parishes of (almost) every jurisdiction, and have been a tithing member of four different jurisdictions, on both US coasts and the Deep South. Suffice to say, I've experienced a few different flavors of Orthodoxy across different parts of the USA.

Like anyone else, my faith has had some highs and lows in that time. I always knew exactly who I am: I am an American, and I am an Orthodox Christian. My family has been on this continent as far back as the 1680s, so I am as American as anyone in the Old World is Russian, Greek, Arab, whatever. Where I grew up in the Pacific Northwest, pan-Orthodoxy was the norm. Whenever Archbishop Benjamin (OCA) visited my parish in Washington state, the visiting priests were not strictly OCA priests, but also included the Greek, Antiochian, Serbian, and after 2007, ROCOR priests. At least one from each jurisdiction in the state. Likewise whenever their bishops were in town (rarely) we also sent a priest or two to represent us. We had pan-Orthodox vespers on every Sunday in Lent from Sunday of Orthodoxy through Palm Sunday. It was also normal to visit other parishes throughout the Puget Sound and the great benefit of the pan-Orthodox vespers was that whenever you visited a parish you had a friend that you could meet; someone to introduce you to the rest of the parish and ensure that you were treated like family. Despite the current schism between the Russians and Constantinople, I was told that last year's Sunday of Orthodoxy vespers was attended by both ROCOR and Greek priests, but neither one concelebrated because they did not want the other to feel excluded. They were both there because they knew that we as Orthodox are a very small minority in this country and it is more important to keep the channels of communication open, rather then closed. The Orthodoxy of the Pacific Northwest when I left for the Navy in 2012 was a region-wide family affair. In fact, when the OCA had their All-American Council in Seattle back in 2011, every single parish in the Puget Sound volunteered to help in some way. We had chalices that were lent out from every parish of every jurisdiction. A Romanian man donated his limo service to pick up bishops. A Ukrainian family donated their trucking business to bring liturgical items from the East Coast. Some of the Greeks helped cover the hotel costs. ROCOR opened up their cathedral so people could venerate the place where St John of Shanghai reposed. The Serbs, Antiochians, Greeks, ROCOR, and OCA all got together to create a Pacific Northwest Pan-Orthodox choir just for the Council.


And then I came to the Mid-Atlantic DC area a year and a half ago on military orders. Finding a parish home here has been exceedingly difficult. No longer is Orthodoxy a family affair here. Instead, one's ethnicity and job are what "matter" in order to be welcomed into a parish by the laity. No longer are there good relations here even for parishes of the same jurisdiction. No longer is Orthodoxy one big tribe, instead being Orthodox comes second to being Russian, Greek, Arab, Romanian, or convert (because God forbid we call people American and Orthodox in the same sentence). This place has been a huge test of my faith because of the ethnic chauvinism and constant one-up-man-ship of "my people suffered more then you" or "you celebrate Christmas on December 25th? Heretic" or "you celebrate Christmas on January 7th? Backward barbarian." Or my personal favorite "I can't ever attend a parish of X jurisdiction because of something that Bishop Y did even though he's been dead for years". This place is completely devoid of any sense of compassion for other traditions or sense of belonging to a greater Church beyond the local parish and it is driving me up a wall. There are 25 Orthodox parishes and missions in the greater DC area (not including Baltimore) and each and every one of them acts as if the other 24 do not even exist - with the exception of the mission I attend.


For the first time in my life I am considering just quitting Orthodoxy. I am tired of the hostility. I am tired of parishes hoarding their relics and miraculous icons to themselves like the man who buried his one talent. I am tired of the ethnic chauvinism, racism, and ethnocentric Orthodoxy here where St Paul's words to the Galatians fall on deaf ears, "For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise" (Galatians 3: 26-29).
I am tired of this ghetto mentality. I am tired of the paranoia. I am tired of the complete refusal to remotely identify with the land that your grandfathers willingly fled to three generations ago. I am tired of people calling English a barbarian language not worthy of being worshiped in. I am tired of the constant unending talk of politics. I am tired of Orthodox Christians basing their friendships on political party lines. I am tired of us acting like none of our neighboring Orthodox parishes exist just because the music is a little different. I am tired of being called some sort of ethnic-phobe just because I don't embrace some other ethnic group's ethnic-ness (remember, I'm an American and my family has been for 340 years). I am tired of people bashing American culture. I am tired of being told I need to learn about some other ethnic group's troubles when that same ethnic group refuses to learn mine. I am tired of the superior attitude we have about our own traditions. I am tired of people treating me like a second-class citizen just because my ancestors hailed from Western Europe. And I am tired of people acting like their jurisdiction has the monopoly on anything and everything that defines what is and isn't Orthodox and all others are "not real Orthodox like we are".
In the words of John Coffey from The Green Mile, "Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other".

Forgive me for the rant, but this is exactly why the perception of Orthodoxy is that of a regressive, oppressive Church. This is why people do not become Orthodox. And this is why Orthodoxy will always be viewed as a foreign institution in this country unwelcoming and uninviting to Americans.
There is a very short sermon that I believe was related to Metropolitan Anthony of Sourouzh, "Last night a woman came to vespers. She was a single mother and one of you ran her out because she was not wearing a headscarf. Whoever that was, her salvation is now on your soul."
How many people's salvation do we have on ours?

Forgive me.
Maybe DC is such a transient area, Govt and all, people coming and going? I am sure things are different in say the west or like in PA?? I mean OCA, I am sure that is a mix of ethnicities, no? What about the church that Light of the east goes to, he seems to like it?
 
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rusmeister

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I hear you so loud and clear that it is hard to say anything. I’m at the end of my rope myself. And since I feel anger toward the Russian Church for being so partisan in this conflict, ignoring the Russian evils and willing to whitewash the past, I may be part of the problem. Toward my erstwhile friends who drove me to feel that I needed to flee into exile. (Maybe I should be grateful to them for providing “early warning”, but I would have preferred to have held the relationships on a higher level, and not have them be reduced to views of politics and history. My faith is so weak and on the edge, my financial situation, my personal life - ditto. Things I can’t say here but only to a trusted confessor, which I don’t have. So yeah, EC, you’re not alone in feeling that way. But where can we go? There’s nowhere to go, and I think we both know that. So try not to sin, drag your behind to the sacraments, avoid personal conflict and acrimony. Hear the voice of Dory “Keep on swimmin’, keep on swimmin’...”
From someone else who is tired of everything.
 
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ArmyMatt

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I hear you so loud and clear that it is hard to say anything. I’m at the end of my rope myself. And since I feel anger toward the Russian Church for being so partisan in this conflict, ignoring the Russian evils and willing to whitewash the past, I may be part of the problem. Toward my erstwhile friends who drove me to feel that I needed to flee into exile. (Maybe I should be grateful to them for providing “early warning”, but I would have preferred to have held the relationships on a higher level, and not have them be reduced to views of politics and history. My faith is so weak and on the edge, my financial situation, my personal life - ditto. Things I can’t say here but only to a trusted confessor, which I don’t have. So yeah, EC, you’re not alone in feeling that way. But where can we go? There’s nowhere to go, and I think we both know that. So try not to sin, drag your behind to the sacraments, avoid personal conflict and acrimony. Hear the voice of Dory “Keep on swimmin’, keep on swimmin’...”
From someone else who is tired of everything.
prayers for you, rus
 
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Dorothea

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I was chrismated August 19, 2006 in an OCA parish. I was sixteen at the time. I won't rehash me entire conversion story because it's somewhere in the sticky thread (I think I posted it in 2007? 2011? who knows). Needless to say, I've been Orthodox for a while. I've been serving in the US military for the last ten years and in that time I've had nineteen addresses across seven US states, visited close to 70 parishes of (almost) every jurisdiction, and have been a tithing member of four different jurisdictions, on both US coasts and the Deep South. Suffice to say, I've experienced a few different flavors of Orthodoxy across different parts of the USA.

Like anyone else, my faith has had some highs and lows in that time. I always knew exactly who I am: I am an American, and I am an Orthodox Christian. My family has been on this continent as far back as the 1680s, so I am as American as anyone in the Old World is Russian, Greek, Arab, whatever. Where I grew up in the Pacific Northwest, pan-Orthodoxy was the norm. Whenever Archbishop Benjamin (OCA) visited my parish in Washington state, the visiting priests were not strictly OCA priests, but also included the Greek, Antiochian, Serbian, and after 2007, ROCOR priests. At least one from each jurisdiction in the state. Likewise whenever their bishops were in town (rarely) we also sent a priest or two to represent us. We had pan-Orthodox vespers on every Sunday in Lent from Sunday of Orthodoxy through Palm Sunday. It was also normal to visit other parishes throughout the Puget Sound and the great benefit of the pan-Orthodox vespers was that whenever you visited a parish you had a friend that you could meet; someone to introduce you to the rest of the parish and ensure that you were treated like family. Despite the current schism between the Russians and Constantinople, I was told that last year's Sunday of Orthodoxy vespers was attended by both ROCOR and Greek priests, but neither one concelebrated because they did not want the other to feel excluded. They were both there because they knew that we as Orthodox are a very small minority in this country and it is more important to keep the channels of communication open, rather then closed. The Orthodoxy of the Pacific Northwest when I left for the Navy in 2012 was a region-wide family affair. In fact, when the OCA had their All-American Council in Seattle back in 2011, every single parish in the Puget Sound volunteered to help in some way. We had chalices that were lent out from every parish of every jurisdiction. A Romanian man donated his limo service to pick up bishops. A Ukrainian family donated their trucking business to bring liturgical items from the East Coast. Some of the Greeks helped cover the hotel costs. ROCOR opened up their cathedral so people could venerate the place where St John of Shanghai reposed. The Serbs, Antiochians, Greeks, ROCOR, and OCA all got together to create a Pacific Northwest Pan-Orthodox choir just for the Council.


And then I came to the Mid-Atlantic DC area a year and a half ago on military orders. Finding a parish home here has been exceedingly difficult. No longer is Orthodoxy a family affair here. Instead, one's ethnicity and job are what "matter" in order to be welcomed into a parish by the laity. No longer are there good relations here even for parishes of the same jurisdiction. No longer is Orthodoxy one big tribe, instead being Orthodox comes second to being Russian, Greek, Arab, Romanian, or convert (because God forbid we call people American and Orthodox in the same sentence). This place has been a huge test of my faith because of the ethnic chauvinism and constant one-up-man-ship of "my people suffered more then you" or "you celebrate Christmas on December 25th? Heretic" or "you celebrate Christmas on January 7th? Backward barbarian." Or my personal favorite "I can't ever attend a parish of X jurisdiction because of something that Bishop Y did even though he's been dead for years". This place is completely devoid of any sense of compassion for other traditions or sense of belonging to a greater Church beyond the local parish and it is driving me up a wall. There are 25 Orthodox parishes and missions in the greater DC area (not including Baltimore) and each and every one of them acts as if the other 24 do not even exist - with the exception of the mission I attend.


For the first time in my life I am considering just quitting Orthodoxy. I am tired of the hostility. I am tired of parishes hoarding their relics and miraculous icons to themselves like the man who buried his one talent. I am tired of the ethnic chauvinism, racism, and ethnocentric Orthodoxy here where St Paul's words to the Galatians fall on deaf ears, "For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise" (Galatians 3: 26-29).
I am tired of this ghetto mentality. I am tired of the paranoia. I am tired of the complete refusal to remotely identify with the land that your grandfathers willingly fled to three generations ago. I am tired of people calling English a barbarian language not worthy of being worshiped in. I am tired of the constant unending talk of politics. I am tired of Orthodox Christians basing their friendships on political party lines. I am tired of us acting like none of our neighboring Orthodox parishes exist just because the music is a little different. I am tired of being called some sort of ethnic-phobe just because I don't embrace some other ethnic group's ethnic-ness (remember, I'm an American and my family has been for 340 years). I am tired of people bashing American culture. I am tired of being told I need to learn about some other ethnic group's troubles when that same ethnic group refuses to learn mine. I am tired of the superior attitude we have about our own traditions. I am tired of people treating me like a second-class citizen just because my ancestors hailed from Western Europe. And I am tired of people acting like their jurisdiction has the monopoly on anything and everything that defines what is and isn't Orthodox and all others are "not real Orthodox like we are".
In the words of John Coffey from The Green Mile, "Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other".

Forgive me for the rant, but this is exactly why the perception of Orthodoxy is that of a regressive, oppressive Church. This is why people do not become Orthodox. And this is why Orthodoxy will always be viewed as a foreign institution in this country unwelcoming and uninviting to Americans.
There is a very short sermon that I believe was related to Metropolitan Anthony of Sourouzh, "Last night a woman came to vespers. She was a single mother and one of you ran her out because she was not wearing a headscarf. Whoever that was, her salvation is now on your soul."
How many people's salvation do we have on ours?

Forgive me.
Totally get what you're saying. My best friend (Thekla here on this site) has struggled with about the same thoughts and struggles and feelings you are going through and me to a little less extent. What you described with the tensions between the jurisdictional churches and the ethnic tribal mentalities I saw too much of while living in MA for two years, and I hated it, to be totally honest. It was then that my faith was really tested and I was struggling a lot with it, so I totally get your feelings on this. It's taken me until just the past month to get back to some real connection to the practices of the faith. I've always talked to God daily, but I was apathetic to a point and disconnected with the practices -- going to church, keeping up with fasting, daily prayers, feasts, etc. I forced myself to go to church many times, not feeling totally into it, but when liturgy ended, I always felt the spiritual benefits of it. But yes, the lack of empathy and compassion for others is really rampant not only in the Church but the world. It definitely seeped into our churches during the covid mess and really has splintered our unities, imo. And yes, too much political arguing. It shouldn't be tearing apart our Orthodox family. Humanity ( meaning seeing the person and the person made in His Image first) and our connection to each other and God supersede anything else, imo. Prayers for you, Mitch. Hang in there. Remember we're in God's Church and it's full of broken people, but we are with God.
 
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ArmyMatt

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My best friend (Thekla here on this site) has struggled with about the same thoughts and struggles and feelings you are going through and me to a little less extent.
Lord have mercy!
 
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Chesterton

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My family has been on this continent as far back as the 1680s, so I am as American as anyone in the Old World is Russian, Greek, Arab, whatever.
My family too. I'm pre-American American, lol. Could you provide me a link to your conversion story? I can't find it in the stickies.
For the first time in my life I am considering just quitting Orthodoxy.
No, no. Orthodoxy is the truth. There's nowhere else to go.
 
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ArseniusTheSilent

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Prayers for all of you with your struggles. Spiritual deserts like this are really hard and I'm horrible at navigating them myself.

Partisanship and polarization is happening across society and not just within our Orthodox family. Maybe a visit to a monastery would help recharge your batteries.

It's the crowning of a brand new year. Be optimistic for what is possible despite everything that seems to be going wrong with the world right now.

When in doubt as to what to do....pray harder! :)
 
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SamanthaAnastasia

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Hey EC. I’m sorry to here about this. I know that politics and ethnic lines are hard. Then you add in the Church’s politics and it becomes even harder. :(
I understand the culture bashing too. As an American convert who is also multiethnic, I just don’t understand culture bashing. Hang in there. Remember Righteous Job. I wish I could say more words of comfort but I don’t know any. I will say though: you’re not alone in your feelings with this.



Lord have mercy.
 
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rusmeister

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No, no. Orthodoxy is the truth. There's nowhere else to go.
Yeah. That’s my essential problem. Every other form of Christian faith is even more corrupt, its history off and less defensoble, and non-Christian faiths are so off-the-board despite having some truth. Everyone is falling away. You know Orthodox teaching is true. When people, even hierarchs in the Church go wrong, it is proved even more true.
 
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ArmyMatt

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Everyone is falling away. You know Orthodox teaching is true. When people, even hierarchs in the Church go wrong, it is proved even more true.
especially since Christ predicted this and the NT isn’t shy to show it was happening in the time of the Apostles.
 
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Light of the East

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I was chrismated August 19, 2006 in an OCA parish. I was sixteen at the time. I won't rehash me entire conversion story because it's somewhere in the sticky thread (I think I posted it in 2007? 2011? who knows). Needless to say, I've been Orthodox for a while. I've been serving in the US military for the last ten years and in that time I've had nineteen addresses across seven US states, visited close to 70 parishes of (almost) every jurisdiction, and have been a tithing member of four different jurisdictions, on both US coasts and the Deep South. Suffice to say, I've experienced a few different flavors of Orthodoxy across different parts of the USA.

Like anyone else, my faith has had some highs and lows in that time. I always knew exactly who I am: I am an American, and I am an Orthodox Christian. My family has been on this continent as far back as the 1680s, so I am as American as anyone in the Old World is Russian, Greek, Arab, whatever. Where I grew up in the Pacific Northwest, pan-Orthodoxy was the norm. Whenever Archbishop Benjamin (OCA) visited my parish in Washington state, the visiting priests were not strictly OCA priests, but also included the Greek, Antiochian, Serbian, and after 2007, ROCOR priests. At least one from each jurisdiction in the state. Likewise whenever their bishops were in town (rarely) we also sent a priest or two to represent us. We had pan-Orthodox vespers on every Sunday in Lent from Sunday of Orthodoxy through Palm Sunday. It was also normal to visit other parishes throughout the Puget Sound and the great benefit of the pan-Orthodox vespers was that whenever you visited a parish you had a friend that you could meet; someone to introduce you to the rest of the parish and ensure that you were treated like family. Despite the current schism between the Russians and Constantinople, I was told that last year's Sunday of Orthodoxy vespers was attended by both ROCOR and Greek priests, but neither one concelebrated because they did not want the other to feel excluded. They were both there because they knew that we as Orthodox are a very small minority in this country and it is more important to keep the channels of communication open, rather then closed. The Orthodoxy of the Pacific Northwest when I left for the Navy in 2012 was a region-wide family affair. In fact, when the OCA had their All-American Council in Seattle back in 2011, every single parish in the Puget Sound volunteered to help in some way. We had chalices that were lent out from every parish of every jurisdiction. A Romanian man donated his limo service to pick up bishops. A Ukrainian family donated their trucking business to bring liturgical items from the East Coast. Some of the Greeks helped cover the hotel costs. ROCOR opened up their cathedral so people could venerate the place where St John of Shanghai reposed. The Serbs, Antiochians, Greeks, ROCOR, and OCA all got together to create a Pacific Northwest Pan-Orthodox choir just for the Council.


And then I came to the Mid-Atlantic DC area a year and a half ago on military orders. Finding a parish home here has been exceedingly difficult. No longer is Orthodoxy a family affair here. Instead, one's ethnicity and job are what "matter" in order to be welcomed into a parish by the laity. No longer are there good relations here even for parishes of the same jurisdiction. No longer is Orthodoxy one big tribe, instead being Orthodox comes second to being Russian, Greek, Arab, Romanian, or convert (because God forbid we call people American and Orthodox in the same sentence). This place has been a huge test of my faith because of the ethnic chauvinism and constant one-up-man-ship of "my people suffered more then you" or "you celebrate Christmas on December 25th? Heretic" or "you celebrate Christmas on January 7th? Backward barbarian." Or my personal favorite "I can't ever attend a parish of X jurisdiction because of something that Bishop Y did even though he's been dead for years". This place is completely devoid of any sense of compassion for other traditions or sense of belonging to a greater Church beyond the local parish and it is driving me up a wall. There are 25 Orthodox parishes and missions in the greater DC area (not including Baltimore) and each and every one of them acts as if the other 24 do not even exist - with the exception of the mission I attend.


For the first time in my life I am considering just quitting Orthodoxy. I am tired of the hostility. I am tired of parishes hoarding their relics and miraculous icons to themselves like the man who buried his one talent. I am tired of the ethnic chauvinism, racism, and ethnocentric Orthodoxy here where St Paul's words to the Galatians fall on deaf ears, "For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise" (Galatians 3: 26-29).
I am tired of this ghetto mentality. I am tired of the paranoia. I am tired of the complete refusal to remotely identify with the land that your grandfathers willingly fled to three generations ago. I am tired of people calling English a barbarian language not worthy of being worshiped in. I am tired of the constant unending talk of politics. I am tired of Orthodox Christians basing their friendships on political party lines. I am tired of us acting like none of our neighboring Orthodox parishes exist just because the music is a little different. I am tired of being called some sort of ethnic-phobe just because I don't embrace some other ethnic group's ethnic-ness (remember, I'm an American and my family has been for 340 years). I am tired of people bashing American culture. I am tired of being told I need to learn about some other ethnic group's troubles when that same ethnic group refuses to learn mine. I am tired of the superior attitude we have about our own traditions. I am tired of people treating me like a second-class citizen just because my ancestors hailed from Western Europe. And I am tired of people acting like their jurisdiction has the monopoly on anything and everything that defines what is and isn't Orthodox and all others are "not real Orthodox like we are".
In the words of John Coffey from The Green Mile, "Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other".

Forgive me for the rant, but this is exactly why the perception of Orthodoxy is that of a regressive, oppressive Church. This is why people do not become Orthodox. And this is why Orthodoxy will always be viewed as a foreign institution in this country unwelcoming and uninviting to Americans.
There is a very short sermon that I believe was related to Metropolitan Anthony of Sourouzh, "Last night a woman came to vespers. She was a single mother and one of you ran her out because she was not wearing a headscarf. Whoever that was, her salvation is now on your soul."
How many people's salvation do we have on ours?

Forgive me.


Before you give in to the devil's temptation, please come over to Falls Church, Virginia to my parish, The Protection of Saint Mary. You will find a very mixed bag of people from all backgrounds and races, with no ethnic pushiness. I was chrismated into this wonderful parish on April 23rd of last year and it has been just joy after joy. The people are welcoming, it is not an ethnic club, and our pastor, Fr. David, is a marvelous homilist.

I know what you are saying about parishes that are ethnic conclaves, judgmental, etc. I have yet to find that here. Please drop by and look for me so I can meet you. Orthros is 9 AM on Sunday and Divine Liturgy starts at 10. I will be the guy in the choir with the big, white beard (I was asked to be St. Nicholas this year!).

Hope to see you!
 
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E.C.

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This deserves an update....


Thank you all for your prayers, they have helped. Yes, I'm still Orthodox, albeit a bit drained. I've had a few conversations about this with my priest and with a few other priests in the DC area whom I greatly trust and thankfully, like when one is served bad meat, this too has passed.

This also said, I have decided something important. I am planning on coming off active duty at the end of my contract, I plan on switching over to the Reserves, and I plan on settling in the greater DC area. While I am living here, I am going to all that I can to diplomatically break jurisdictionalism and parochialism.

Why?
1) The Orthodox Church (note the capital letters) exists outside of the walls of one's local parish. We are not like a collection of non-denominational Protestants who may affiliate with each other simply because we hold the same theological positions. We are all a part of a worldwide organization. Period. Some parts of the USA have parishes that are isolated and some are in areas that have many Orthodox parishes. Either way, we all need to work together. Thanks to my Roman Catholic upbringing, I sometimes seem to understand this better then many ex-Protestant converts where, from what I'm told, the True Church to them was the four walls of their parish.

2) We are a minority. According to the 2020 US census, there are a little over 330million people living in the USA. According to the 2020 Orthodox census conducted by Mr Alexei Krindatch, there are 675,765 Orthodox Christians (regular attendees plus occasional and marginal participants, adults plus children) in the USA. In terms of regular attendees only that would be 183,020 people.

Why do I mention this?

Because that is exactly why jurisdictionalism is stupid. Want your child to grow up around other good Orthodox people, but you're the only family in the parish that has kids? Make friends with Orthodox parents of other parishes and, if able, start a homeschooling co-op. Want to have an Orthodox private school like how the Catholics, Protestants, Muslims, and Jews have private schools? Get the parishes of the surrounding area together, pool your resources, and make it happen. Wonder why your adult grown child hasn't married a good Orthodox man or woman? Well, chances are that the pickings in your parish are slim, so go venture elsewhere where the pickings may not be so slim!

"Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. For it has been declared to me concerning you, my brethren, by those of Chloe’s household, that there are contentions among you. Now I say this, that each of you says, “I am of Paul,” or “I am of Apollos,” or “I am of Cephas,” or “I am of Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?" (1 Corinthians 10-13)

Despite what St Paul says against what is basically sectarianism, we in America are especially guilty of being sectarian ourselves. Yes, the jurisdictionalism began because of the Bolshevik Revolution. Unfortunately, that was over 100 year ago. We can blame Communism for how this mess started, sure, but we have only ourselves to blame for this sectarian nonsense continuing. That said, my goal will now be to break jurisdictionalism. I will be diplomatic and if needed do so with the force of a wrecking ball, but dang it, we will get to know each other.


Before you give in to the devil's temptation, please come over to Falls Church, Virginia to my parish, The Protection of Saint Mary. You will find a very mixed bag of people from all backgrounds and races, with no ethnic pushiness. I was chrismated into this wonderful parish on April 23rd of last year and it has been just joy after joy. The people are welcoming, it is not an ethnic club, and our pastor, Fr. David, is a marvelous homilist.

I know what you are saying about parishes that are ethnic conclaves, judgmental, etc. I have yet to find that here. Please drop by and look for me so I can meet you. Orthros is 9 AM on Sunday and Divine Liturgy starts at 10. I will be the guy in the choir with the big, white beard (I was asked to be St. Nicholas this year!).

Hope to see you!
I've actually been there a few times for vespers and Fr David knows who I am. Now that I'm living in Northern Virginia I go there for vespers a bit more frequently. My parish, St John the Merciful Orthodox Mission, does not have the ethnic superiority problems itself thank God. Unfortunately, some of my friends in some of the other parishes in the DMV do and there's only so much more of this nonsense I can tolerate. I love them as friends, but their communities have problems and unfortunately some of the ethnic superiority is tolerated or encouraged by their bishops.
 
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Light of the East

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I've actually been there a few times for vespers and Fr David knows who I am. Now that I'm living in Northern Virginia I go there for vespers a bit more frequently. My parish, St John the Merciful Orthodox Mission, does not have the ethnic superiority problems itself thank God. Unfortunately, some of my friends in some of the other parishes in the DMV do and there's only so much more of this nonsense I can tolerate. I love them as friends, but their communities have problems and unfortunately some of the ethnic superiority is tolerated or encouraged by their bishops.

Well, next time you come to Vespers, come by and say hi to me!
 
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Harpgal

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E.C. Wow! You're singing my song!! Our Lord cannot be happy about the petty squabbling and power grabs that happen in His churches. His Body is not divided. Hope you have found a home to work out your salvation. We are still trying to do the same, but losing heart.
 
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sorry, i only replied to the post, did not see it was in a 'private' section.l
I think you are fine to post, just in good fellowship and you can’t assert something contrary to Orthodoxy,
 
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