Random Thread of Randomness! ((11)

[Leader of the Banned]

A visiting minister during the offertory prayer:
"Dear Lord," he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..." He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully for a change!) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?"

Church was pretty much over at that point...

 

[Leader of the Banned]

How do you spell MTV?

 

[Leader of the Banned]

Last party I'd attended a request was made for me to sing solo...so low they couldn't hear me.

 

[Leader of the Banned]

The ten best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk:

10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent to me."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to handle that big accounting problem."

3. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"

2. "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?"


Number one best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk:

1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus name, Amen."

 

[Leader of the Banned]

I haven't had a vacation since I retired.

 

[Leader of the Banned]

baaaaaaaaaaa de baaaaaaaaaa de be...
baaaaaaaaaaa de baaaaaaaaaa de baaaaaaa....
...and the bleat goes on. (lame, I know but I'm tired)

 

[Stefania777]

You are SUCH a girl...

 

[Leader of the Banned]

If I'm tired of learning does that make me "bored of education"....?

 

[Leader of the Banned]

Ever eat processed cheese food? Makes me wonder if this is what cheese eats. You know-fish food, dog food....CHEESE food!

 

[Stefania777]

They are your mom's kids, but not your siblings?

The are my sibs. but I call them the kids, or the boys..

 

[Dante45]

I like PIE!

 

[Leader of the Banned]

I like PIE!

Knock yourself out....3.14

 

[Greenthumb]

Nit: It's raining cats and dogs.

Wit: I know, I just stepped in a poodle!

 

[Stefania777]

Knock yourself out....3.14

hehehehe, . I can honestly say, I don't like pie.

 

[brinny]

disgusting tidbit: my cat found a used Q-tip and was chewin' on it

 

[Stefania777]

yucky!

 

[Stefania777]

Ah man,

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to brinny again.
​

 

[Stefania777]

Stefania Sings*

Macho macho man, gotta be a macho macho man.....macho macho macho maaaan!
ANyone wanna dance?

 

[Stefania777]

Joel Osteen is on.

 

[Leader of the Banned]

hee hee hee hee....