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Random Thread of Randomness! ((11)
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thecarlyjean
ardent enthusiast about Jesus, music, and people!
- Nov 27, 2004
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"Frog Legs"
Froggy digs his home
deep inside the ground...
Tender to the bone
cheaper by the pound.
Time for froggy to be slaughtered!
"Don't do it" he begs...
What's the matter, little guy?
I just wanna eat your legs.
You taste good I must admit.
But now you've got no place to sit...
Ya' got no legs but don't despair
I'll get you a wheel chair.
When froggy was last seen
his legs were plump and green...
Now he's troubled when he jumps
cuz all he has are bloody stumps.
-me
Froggy digs his home
deep inside the ground...
Tender to the bone
cheaper by the pound.
Time for froggy to be slaughtered!
"Don't do it" he begs...
What's the matter, little guy?
I just wanna eat your legs.
You taste good I must admit.
But now you've got no place to sit...
Ya' got no legs but don't despair
I'll get you a wheel chair.
When froggy was last seen
his legs were plump and green...
Now he's troubled when he jumps
cuz all he has are bloody stumps.
-me
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Leader of the Banned
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thecarlyjean
ardent enthusiast about Jesus, music, and people!
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A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in a small town in West Texas. He
sits at the counter and notices an older cowboy with his arms folded
staring blankly at a bowl of chili.
After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young
cowboy bravely asks, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do"?
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his
best cowboy manner states "Nah, go ahead"
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his
place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the
bottom
and notices a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight was shocking and he
immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got too"
sits at the counter and notices an older cowboy with his arms folded
staring blankly at a bowl of chili.
After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young
cowboy bravely asks, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do"?
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his
best cowboy manner states "Nah, go ahead"
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his
place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the
bottom
and notices a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight was shocking and he
immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got too"
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Leader of the Banned
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Based on a true story. Only the names have been changed (that and the dialogue) to protect the innocent....
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from this thought:
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve ( the first children ). And the First thing He said was:
"Don't."
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit?"
"Hey, Eve... We got forbidden fruit!"
"No way!"
"Yes way!"
"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.
"Why?"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" said God,
Wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.
A few minutes later God saw his kids having an apple break and was angry.
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" the First Parent asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?"
"I dunno" Eve answered.
"She started it!" Adam said.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed.
But there is reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from this thought:
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve ( the first children ). And the First thing He said was:
"Don't."
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit?"
"Hey, Eve... We got forbidden fruit!"
"No way!"
"Yes way!"
"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.
"Why?"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" said God,
Wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.
A few minutes later God saw his kids having an apple break and was angry.
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" the First Parent asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?"
"I dunno" Eve answered.
"She started it!" Adam said.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed.
But there is reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
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thecarlyjean
ardent enthusiast about Jesus, music, and people!
- Nov 27, 2004
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Leader of the Banned
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Stefania777
Lifting Shadows off a Dream
Who wants to kill the kids, I called mom but she can't because she's at work so she told me to ask someone else. They're guilty for making me lose my peace
...look my eye is twiching.
...look my eye is twiching.
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thecarlyjean
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Stefania777
Lifting Shadows off a Dream
No, eeeeew kids...no way, they're my mom's, but she works so much that I'm the one who has to be the mom while she's gone.
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Stefania777
Lifting Shadows off a Dream
No, they can't handle it. Blue hair takes too much dicipline and responsability.
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Greenthumb
So many seeds...so little time!
Stefania777 said:No, eeeeew kids...no way, they're my mom's, but she works so much that I'm the one who has to be the mom while she's gone.
They are your mom's kids, but not your siblings?
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A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.
Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her.
After a couple of weeks the wife asked, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?"
He hadn't and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing."
Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
"Well, is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly."
No, she's not." he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. "Well, what is it, then?" his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said. "Her name is Sally and she's a battery salesperson."
"Batteries?" cried the wife ...
"Yes" he replied.
"She sells C cells by the Seashore."
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.
Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her.
After a couple of weeks the wife asked, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?"
He hadn't and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing."
Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
"Well, is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly."
No, she's not." he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. "Well, what is it, then?" his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said. "Her name is Sally and she's a battery salesperson."
"Batteries?" cried the wife ...
"Yes" he replied.
"She sells C cells by the Seashore."
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