Racism OCD

[Lik3]

I have prayed about this recently and I have obsessive thoughts about race and racism. At one time it was to the point where I thought that maybe I am a racist. I wonder what it could be stemming from since no white or latino person has ever done anything to warrant my hating or disliking all white or latino people. I'm black. How shall I deal with having this obsession because it makes no sense? It isn't going to change or end racism, so will God give me an answer about why, if not, what should I pray about?

 

[emjeep]

Hello lik3,

I am a white, Latina and am half Puerto Rican. I actually was looking for racism ocd and found your post. I don't think you're racist at all, however I know me saying that doesn't make it any less stressful. I just hope it helps a little and maybe you could help me too. I too have prayed about something similar, and it has plagued me for a very long time. I posted this on another ocd support group site, hoping to find someone like yourself.

I'm a female and have been suffering from intrusive thoughts since my early twenties, and I'm now in my thirties. In my 20's I got stuck having racists thoughts. When I'm around black people, it's difficult to be myself, because the thoughts are extremely distressing. I would physically manifest this stress into my shoulders with muscle tension. This has limited my work opportunities, my openness in social situations, and my attempts to have more black friends. This does not just occur with black people but with people of all minorities, including my family. However, the thoughts are less intrusive around people I grew up with. To try and eradicate these thoughts, I joined a group dedicated to eliminating racism, and was slowly able to overcome the physical manifestations of stress, because I'd ride out the feeling for about 30 minutes and it would subside.

In my middle twenties my brain decided to attach incestuous and pedophelic thoughts to this already distressing mess. I overcame wanting to commit suicide by seeking out counseling at this time. Anyway, my racist thoughts are becoming louder as I attempt to become friends with a black coworker.

Do you think it's unfair to try and befriend this person without explaining my situation? How would you feel if I told you I was having racist thoughts while talking to you? I'm afraid of rejection, but I'm afraid of hurting people also. In past experiences, I've usually just lost contact without any indication of why. I'm a lonely, sad person and am ashamed of myself.

What techniques have you tried to overcome intrusive thoughts?

 

[Lik3]

I try to read up on things that line up with reality and common sense. I have also learned to relax my mind because it tends to run, if that makes any sense. I believe that calming myself down also calms my thoughts down. It takes work but I also have to realize that there are people of all races, nationalities, and colors who are racists and those who are not. I have to learn that racism exists everywhere, not because of a "racist nation", but because of the people in that nation or nations. I cannot say all Brazilians, whites, blacks, etc are racists. I don't know all peoples and all of them don't know me. I still have those thoughts and I am still tempted to ask about the racism in their country and such, but I realize that I have to draw my own conclusions about what they have to say. I also tend to go on race boards and I need to take a break from those, which is what I have done. I realize that I am not a racist or a bigoted, but I am sheltered. I have not been to other countries and have not gotten to know people from those countries. I do have a prejudice towards people in general, which is not good, but I know that the OCD doesn't reflect who I am or what my true views are.

 

[dabro]

It's just like any other obsession it just attached itself to something that is importent to you. I would suggest seeing a doctor and getting on a SSRI for the OCD then ERP therapy for when you have the spikes of questions pop up into your head.

 

[gracealone]

Yep.... he's right on here! Great counsel. Treat it as OCD, not as a valid concern.
Mitzi

It's just like any other obsession it just attached itself to something that is importent to you. I would suggest seeing a doctor and getting on a SSRI for the OCD then ERP therapy for when you have the spikes of questions pop up into your head.

 

[Lik3]

I realize that now it is a valid concern. Thank you all for answering me. It is rather an inconvenience, but I know it isn't harmful. It just seems that way sometimes.

 

[RuthD]

I know OCD can give us horrible thoughts. Just learning to recognize that those thoughts are not your own and just OCD thoughts have helped me a lot. So you are on your way to getting better. All the best to you. God bless you.

 

[Verv]

Lik3 --

There is a new psychological concept called "microaggression." It specifically applies to people who live in foreign countries and receive very small mistreatment (that actually is A LOT when you add it up) from the local people.

I think that blacks in America, Canada and other countries must experience a lot of that sort of thing. And I have experienced it a lot myself, living in a foreign country. Just the little comments that maybe aren't even outright racist against YOU, but still SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOU, or IMPLY SOMETHING ABOUT YOU, that you shouldn't have to deal with.

I think that it is a huge problem and you aren't alone at all dealing with these feelings. You start to feel very angry about people THINKING you are this way or that way because you are black.

Always remember, you are a unique individual. You aren't just black. And even though some people act like you're JUST BLACK, and so you are this or that or this or that, remember you're just an individual, just like every white person or latino person.

We can't change the way that everyone thinks... So sometimes we just have to ignore the very natural frustration that we feel.

 

[Jonathan95]

I've also had Racism OCD. I believe it ended somehow like this:

1. I stopped worrying.
2. I stopped thinking about it.
3. If any thoughts came up I'd just let em pass.

Don't let the OCD thoughts take over your mind.