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Quote and whatever Game (Heaps bonus) (2)
- Thread starter Xcarvengerx
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AmazonPanther
Ninja
“I wanted to be a singer, and I tried it once. And the birds left, the sun went out, the rivers and lakes dried up. So I became a comedian.” –Marlar
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AmazonPanther
Ninja
Three old men were sitting around, playing cards, and talking about ways to stay fit. The oldest guy boasted that, at 70, he had the body of a 30-year-old, thanks to a strict daily regimen he had followed for the past three decades.
"Yessir," said the old guy. "Up at five a.m. sharp every morning, right into the shower, then a quick, healthy breakfast -- and plain food at that; nothing fancy. Then I work hard all morning, exercise for a full hour, have a simple lunch, then go back to work. After dinner, I take a long walk -- just up and down my own hallway, really, since I can't go out at night anymore, but I do walk, for nearly two hours steady, every evening. Then I go to bed nice and early, at exactly 9:00 -- no ifs, ands, or buts. "And, most importantly," finished the old guy, "I don't drink, do drugs, or run around with women. And here I am, living proof of what a strict daily routine can do for you."
"Uh, Mike," said one of his buddies. "We've all been following that same 'strict daily routine' too ever since the day we were all remanded to Leavenworth Prison.
"Yessir," said the old guy. "Up at five a.m. sharp every morning, right into the shower, then a quick, healthy breakfast -- and plain food at that; nothing fancy. Then I work hard all morning, exercise for a full hour, have a simple lunch, then go back to work. After dinner, I take a long walk -- just up and down my own hallway, really, since I can't go out at night anymore, but I do walk, for nearly two hours steady, every evening. Then I go to bed nice and early, at exactly 9:00 -- no ifs, ands, or buts. "And, most importantly," finished the old guy, "I don't drink, do drugs, or run around with women. And here I am, living proof of what a strict daily routine can do for you."
"Uh, Mike," said one of his buddies. "We've all been following that same 'strict daily routine' too ever since the day we were all remanded to Leavenworth Prison.
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AmazonPanther
Ninja
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AmazonPanther
Ninja
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redheadskiangel
Veteran
The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.
Alfred Lord Tennyson
Alfred Lord Tennyson
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AmazonPanther
Ninja
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AmazonPanther
Ninja
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AmazonPanther
Ninja
“So long for now and remember the Amalo! The Alohma ... the Omala? You know, that place in Texas we always remember.” –Marlar
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AmazonPanther
Ninja
A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the fears and temptations his future congregations faced if he first took a job as a policeman for several months. He passed the physical examination; then came the oral exam to test his ability to act quickly and wisely in an emergency. Among other questions he was asked, "What would you do to disperse a frenzied crowd?"
He thought for a moment and then said, "I would pass an offering plate."
He got the job.
He thought for a moment and then said, "I would pass an offering plate."
He got the job.
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AmazonPanther
Ninja
“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra." --Fran Lebowitz
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AmazonPanther
Ninja
An elderly gentleman was bragging to his friend about his attractiveness to younger women. "It was during spring break - a beautiful co-ed introduced herself to me. She's an archeology major, only 22, and she says she wants to date me!" he said excitedly.
"Now why would a woman like that want to date you?" his friend replied.
"I don't know, and I don't care" the gentleman grumbled. "There's just one thing I don't understand."
"What's that?" his friend inquired quizzically.
"She mentioned something about Carbon 14."
"Now why would a woman like that want to date you?" his friend replied.
"I don't know, and I don't care" the gentleman grumbled. "There's just one thing I don't understand."
"What's that?" his friend inquired quizzically.
"She mentioned something about Carbon 14."
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AmazonPanther
Ninja
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"
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To do something effectively, we need to do the right things.
To do something efficiently, we need to do things right.
To do something efficiently, we need to do things right.
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rnrmachine
"If GOD Brings U 2 It, He Will Bring U Thru It."
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