• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

Quote and whatever Game (Heaps bonus) (2)

Sep 1, 2005
7,124
97
34
Wisconsin
Visit site
✟7,786.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. "How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher.

"I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle", said the little boy. After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my bike in trade for it?"

The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and after riding the bike around a little while said, "Mister, you've got yourself a deal."

The preacher took the mower and began to try to crank it. He pulled on the string a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, "I can't get this mower to start."

The little boy said, "That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started."

The preacher said, "I am a minister, I cant go around cussing. Besides, its been so long since I met Jesus, Im not sure Id even remember HOW to cuss."

The little boy looked at him happily and said, "Just keep pulling on that string. It'll come back to ya!"
 
Upvote 0
Sep 1, 2005
7,124
97
34
Wisconsin
Visit site
✟7,786.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
 
Upvote 0
Sep 1, 2005
7,124
97
34
Wisconsin
Visit site
✟7,786.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
"In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice saying 'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the Silver Spring station. Fortunately the base fare was only a dollar." (Russell Beland, Springfield)
 
Upvote 0