Quick question

[bubblegirl23]

Ok, here's the scene...

You've met a fantastic girl online... she's sweet, genuine, honest, talented, pretty and you really like her.

BUT she has a medical situation that could change your daily routines and some serious life decisions.

Do you think it's better she tells you right away, or would you rather not know until you know her better?

How would you feel when you found out she'd kept it from you?

S

 

[fishstix]

Have I just met the person and had a few conversations or have I gotten to know them fairly well already other than the medical situation? What stage is the online relationship at?

 

[wildthing]

I would want to be told but not the very first thing. And I would want to be told in small bits of information. I don't want to be overloaded with information in one big glut. You would need to comfortable with me and I would need to be comfortable with you. The on line relationship would need to be fairly well developed. Like I said not first thing.

 

[CDN Red Raider]

Don't tell first thing. If the first thing they is how bad things are for yah, they will never give the good a chance.

 

[urbanfaerie]

i wouldnt tell right off the bat.

people get scared of the unknown. they are liable to runoff b4 u get a chance to know em btter, i'd advise u to hold off telling, til things either get serious, or they ask, or its at a pont where its necessary to tell.

 

[desi]

It depends. If I felt she had intentionally fooled me I would be angry with her. If I thought she had honestly spaced it, that would be another story.

 

[seangoh]

i think it depends on the kind of conversations one had with the guy all this while. If it's strictly non-romantic conversations, then one should be comfortable to reveal this part of her life in such a way too. However, if there are hints of romantic overtones already, then i guess that person is in a difficult situation. I suggest to tone down the conversations on her part then eventually tell the "real truth" and see what happens. If the guy doesn't mind, then good for her.

Personally if i knew she kept this great issue from me, i would think that the girl doesn't have much wisdom. It might seem she has alot to learn on how to manage life for herself and in front of others and that'll be a bummer for the girl. Firstly, one shouldn't be self-pitying on one's own weaknesses. We should be bold in telling others what we struggle with. That's how i feel though. Hmm...hope u get what i mean.

 

[songz777]

Pra Pray Pray,
I think If it were me I would tell that person after a short time, for if God had prepared that person for you they will accpet your situation..Bless u John

 

[london boy]

From her p.o.v, I think it's a question of trust. Once she has gotten to know the person in question better, if she feels can trust them, then she should tell them the truth. However, online it can be very hard to discern the true personality and character of someone. Not everyone reveals how they really are. It may be overwhelming for some to hear of such medical conditions, simply because they don't/wouldn't know how to deal with it. Just give it time. The right person/people will respond to the situation in the right way i.e. accepting it.

God bless

Daniel

 

[JillLars]

I think its good to wait a bit...

Interesting story, my uncle is paraplegic, and he met his fiance (they've been together for 7 years or so) on the internet. He didn't tell her right away, but she knew. She said that she just had a feeling, even before he told her, and it didn't bother her at all. She moved out to Minnesota from Pennsylvania 7 years ago, and things have been great since.

 

[plum]

One of my close friends has cerebral palsy and i found out pretty soon after we started talking online. Another had a severe case of epilepsy and he told me very soon after we started talking as well. Neither man used the diseases to act as an excuse or a reason why i shouldn't be friends with them. It's just a fact of life. My Dad's terminal cancer was publically and widely known as well. He'd let everyone he intended to take on as a client (he was a psychologist) know ahead of time what that would mean...

don't be afraid. it's a part of the person even if it makes serious changes in daily life or future decisions or not. having a friend along to help or to support is something i think i might find wonderful if i were in a similar situation- however, i am not...

 

[Bks Finest]

god bless
i would tell the person right away i dont want anyone to feel decieved

 

[Sketcher]

If you suspect the relationship is romantic or headed that way, I would want to know relatively soon. However, there's this one woman who I am friends with who told me she had endo back when we were just aquaintences. It made me uncomfortable.

 

[bubblegirl23]

Thankyou everyone for your opinions. I have taken some time to think about this. When meeting people, I will assess case by case, and would tell the person after a week or two, if not earlier.

However, for now, I'm busy with my literary pursuits. I've decided to avoid chatrooms where bored bullies use me as a target, and enjoy my friends here. I'll let my romantic future just happen.

In 5 years I could be published and married to someone I met while getting to be successful. God knows, and will surely surprise me when I'm ready.

All my hugs,

Bubs

 

[HumbleBee]

Better to be completely honest and open from the start! Would be a test of character for the other person. Emotional attachments development quickly, so withholding such serious information isn't right. Much to be said for integrity.

 

[Lexi]

I wouldn't tell them, "Hi, my name is Lexi and I am in a wheelchair..." or "Hi, my name is Lexi and I have heart problems." I'd wait for a while and get to know the person before letting them know that.

 

[fishstix]

Better to be completely honest and open from the start! Would be a test of character for the other person. Emotional attachments development quickly, so withholding such serious information isn't right. Much to be said for integrity.

If emotional attachments are developing that quickly, that is a problem in itself.