Hi there,
I've been a Christian for several years but have grown very uneasy with my faith as I have tried to find a deeper relationship with God. Trust me when I say that I REALLY was a devoted believer. I truly gave my heart over to Jesus and looked for his guidance daily through study of his word, prayer and fellowship with other believers. I was truly commited and passionate about my God and was happy to witness to others. I've led services, bible and prayer study groups.
I had the unfortunate experience of getting involved in a word of faith (prosperity Gospel) church and in my quest to understand why such a fatally flawed theological position could be allowed to prosper, I started to dig for answers.
Some questions arise that I cannot answer.
1. When I ask a question, a common reply is to just "listen to God", meaning read the Bible, pray and listen to the Holy Spirit. That's fine and it's what I've always done. It's only when I find someone else has asked the same question and the "Holy Spirit" has given them a different answer.
Example: Spurgeon and Calvin both believe in predestination. Wesley and Arminius do not. All parties claim that the Bible backs their point, that the Holy Spirit has confirmed this to them. They all bore great fruits for Christianity and all seem to be great men of God. Other examples can be picked regarding baptism, creation, end-times, communion, day of worship, female teachers and pretty much anything else that the Bible mentions
My point? If I perceive to have an answer to a question, how can I have confidence that it is actually of God when these great men spent so much time in prayer and study and still disagree?
2. Bible Versions. I'm sick to death of it. I started with NIV, then got told that it's the Devils bible and got showed how it and most non-kjv bibles skip out several verses. Then I got told that the KJV uses unreliable manuscripts and the original KJV had the apocrypha. Then I get told to learn the original greek. Then I get told that the dead sea scrolls are more reliable manuscripts. On and On it goes. Again, this goes back a bit to q1. The bibles we have to day are by no means the original writings and so I could spend the next 30 years studying a false book inside out.
3. "My sheep hear my voice". No they don't. At least, if they do, there a VERY few of them. Now, I've tried, really. I've been up at all hours of the night hoping that God will be more real to me at 5am in the morning - he's not. I've tried hours of silence, hours on my knees, hours of "soaking", hours of talking to him and tried to find him, but I have not had a single piece of information from him that I cannot attribute to my own thoughts.
Example: My wife and I were looking for a new Church. We had prayed about it earneslty. One morning on my way to work, I was praying about the very subject. A bus crosses my path with a banner on the side advertising a new local church (this being in the very non-religious UK). I've never seen anything like it - at last an answer to prayer. The church was the afforementioned Word of Faith church where the chastised one young girl for taking her life preserving medication "Not trusting God" and told another that she should not only forgive her father who had repeatedly raped her, but she should ask forgiveness for ALLOWING her body to be violated before marriage (The latter girl later tried to commit suicide thinking she had sinned greatly against God).
I am grateful for any attempts to answer my questions, but please do acknowledge that I have already rebutted the "Just trust Jesus and read the Bible" answer!
Thanks
Mark
I've been a Christian for several years but have grown very uneasy with my faith as I have tried to find a deeper relationship with God. Trust me when I say that I REALLY was a devoted believer. I truly gave my heart over to Jesus and looked for his guidance daily through study of his word, prayer and fellowship with other believers. I was truly commited and passionate about my God and was happy to witness to others. I've led services, bible and prayer study groups.
I had the unfortunate experience of getting involved in a word of faith (prosperity Gospel) church and in my quest to understand why such a fatally flawed theological position could be allowed to prosper, I started to dig for answers.
Some questions arise that I cannot answer.
1. When I ask a question, a common reply is to just "listen to God", meaning read the Bible, pray and listen to the Holy Spirit. That's fine and it's what I've always done. It's only when I find someone else has asked the same question and the "Holy Spirit" has given them a different answer.
Example: Spurgeon and Calvin both believe in predestination. Wesley and Arminius do not. All parties claim that the Bible backs their point, that the Holy Spirit has confirmed this to them. They all bore great fruits for Christianity and all seem to be great men of God. Other examples can be picked regarding baptism, creation, end-times, communion, day of worship, female teachers and pretty much anything else that the Bible mentions
My point? If I perceive to have an answer to a question, how can I have confidence that it is actually of God when these great men spent so much time in prayer and study and still disagree?
2. Bible Versions. I'm sick to death of it. I started with NIV, then got told that it's the Devils bible and got showed how it and most non-kjv bibles skip out several verses. Then I got told that the KJV uses unreliable manuscripts and the original KJV had the apocrypha. Then I get told to learn the original greek. Then I get told that the dead sea scrolls are more reliable manuscripts. On and On it goes. Again, this goes back a bit to q1. The bibles we have to day are by no means the original writings and so I could spend the next 30 years studying a false book inside out.
3. "My sheep hear my voice". No they don't. At least, if they do, there a VERY few of them. Now, I've tried, really. I've been up at all hours of the night hoping that God will be more real to me at 5am in the morning - he's not. I've tried hours of silence, hours on my knees, hours of "soaking", hours of talking to him and tried to find him, but I have not had a single piece of information from him that I cannot attribute to my own thoughts.
Example: My wife and I were looking for a new Church. We had prayed about it earneslty. One morning on my way to work, I was praying about the very subject. A bus crosses my path with a banner on the side advertising a new local church (this being in the very non-religious UK). I've never seen anything like it - at last an answer to prayer. The church was the afforementioned Word of Faith church where the chastised one young girl for taking her life preserving medication "Not trusting God" and told another that she should not only forgive her father who had repeatedly raped her, but she should ask forgiveness for ALLOWING her body to be violated before marriage (The latter girl later tried to commit suicide thinking she had sinned greatly against God).
I am grateful for any attempts to answer my questions, but please do acknowledge that I have already rebutted the "Just trust Jesus and read the Bible" answer!
Thanks
Mark