Wow, I should just make this a journal.
I talked to her yesterday face-to-face. Lots of issues from the past, her heart, in her own words, is now hardened. She attributes it to her previous relationship which she's getting over now. I do confess (and have!) that we didn't start off on the right foot at all... and I don't know if this is punishment or what it is, but I gotta keep reminding myself to stop trying so hard to convince her.
I am more at peace. It's kind of a bittersweet melancholy (oooh), but I understand her feelings. I don't agree with the whole divorce at all, but I can understand somewhat. I am trying to be as loving as possible, and we joked around and acted like old times yesterday, and it was nice. A lot of that oppressive relationship, the burden of obligation (or so I turned it into a burden) is removed, and it would be great to move forward from this point keeping that in mind. But again, not my battle, not my time, not my decision. I'm still praying for her to come back and try, but it's not so... desperate now. When I say desperate, I mean constant pain, worrying, "hurry up God" feeling. I'm letting Him work on His plan in my life and her's. It still hurts and I still miss her, but I feel better than I did before, knowing that I'm not giving up, that God's not giving up and that it may take time, but I believe she's coming back... some day.
Thanks everyone for your prayers and help. I think this thread is about done for now, thank the Lord. Thanks for listening to me babble and whine and feel sorry for myself and everything. Good to know that God touches people's lives so much that they spend the time to comfort someone they don't even know, much less can even see! God bless you all, and I hope I can make a difference in someone else's life someday.
Your brother in Christ,
Chris
I talked to her yesterday face-to-face. Lots of issues from the past, her heart, in her own words, is now hardened. She attributes it to her previous relationship which she's getting over now. I do confess (and have!) that we didn't start off on the right foot at all... and I don't know if this is punishment or what it is, but I gotta keep reminding myself to stop trying so hard to convince her.
I am more at peace. It's kind of a bittersweet melancholy (oooh), but I understand her feelings. I don't agree with the whole divorce at all, but I can understand somewhat. I am trying to be as loving as possible, and we joked around and acted like old times yesterday, and it was nice. A lot of that oppressive relationship, the burden of obligation (or so I turned it into a burden) is removed, and it would be great to move forward from this point keeping that in mind. But again, not my battle, not my time, not my decision. I'm still praying for her to come back and try, but it's not so... desperate now. When I say desperate, I mean constant pain, worrying, "hurry up God" feeling. I'm letting Him work on His plan in my life and her's. It still hurts and I still miss her, but I feel better than I did before, knowing that I'm not giving up, that God's not giving up and that it may take time, but I believe she's coming back... some day.
Thanks everyone for your prayers and help. I think this thread is about done for now, thank the Lord. Thanks for listening to me babble and whine and feel sorry for myself and everything. Good to know that God touches people's lives so much that they spend the time to comfort someone they don't even know, much less can even see! God bless you all, and I hope I can make a difference in someone else's life someday.
Your brother in Christ,
Chris
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. God bless!
