Question about my best friend...

[ISeeWhat4U]

My best friend is an incredible and helpful friend who puts others before himself and I know he believes in god but he also has negative things that he deals with that I know stress him out A LOT! I just wanted to know what would you all think would be the best way I can approach him to wanting to increase his faith and help him feel better in general because he says he wants to go to church but then doesnt bring it up. I just want to be VERY respectful when I approach him and to NOT over step his boundaries or affect the trust that he has in me.

 

[Spunkn]

Pray for him, let him know you're praying for him if he's talked to you about some things he's struggling with. If he hasn't, I probably would'nt mention it unless he brings it up first.

Offer to do stuff with him, activities that he might enjoy. Listen if he wants to let off some steam.

Just stuff like that, to let him know that you care as a friend. Don't pressure him too much, but still let him know you are there if he needs it.

 

[ISeeWhat4U]

Pray for him, let him know you're praying for him if he's talked to you about some things he's struggling with. If he hasn't, I probably would'nt mention it unless he brings it up first.

Offer to do stuff with him, activities that he might enjoy. Listen if he wants to let off some steam.

Just stuff like that, to let him know that you care as a friend. Don't pressure him too much, but still let him know you are there if he needs it.

Well yeah....honestly he did bring up the stuff that stresses him so I could definitely bring that up to him in regards to the fact that I'm praying for him to get through them and that I know he will work them all out. I could ask to do more activities that he enjoys too because honestly as of late I haven't been as helpful as I can be and I could be doing more things that we would both enjoy instead of mostly choosing to my interests (I wasn't always selfish I promise lol)....I do listen but I can learn to listen more effectively too to help him vent in positive ways and so it could decrease his tension too. I agree with you too, I should let him know lightly and never pressure it too much because I wouldn't want to put his back against the wall and have him feel defensive at all.

 

[faithink607]

I agree with spunkn, just continue to be his best friend. Fellowship with him about god, if hes not getting fellowship at church, at least he will have fellowship with you.

 

[ISeeWhat4U]

I agree with spunkn, just continue to be his best friend. Fellowship with him about god, if hes not getting fellowship at church, at least he will have fellowship with you.

Very true. Thank you so much

 

[HIS Geeky Girl]

Pray first, for God to make his heart receptive, then just be as honest and real as you would be about anything else. Inviting someone to church shouldn't be some big, momentous, intense event. Just say "Hey dude, wanna come to church with me this Sunday?" If he says no, just smile and say "OK, maybe another time, you're always welcome."

If he mentions things that he's going through or struggling with, just say "Would you like me to pray for you?" Doesn't have to be right there on the spot, unless he seems comfortable with that. And he might say no, and that's OK, too. Just say "Well, if you ever want me to, just say the word."

No drama needed He'll know that you're a caring and trustworthy friend who isn't going to push your faith on him, but the door is open for when HE'S ready to experience more.

 

[amandatea]

Like everyone else seems to have said, I would say, first pray for him. Second, show him that you care about him by being there for him. Love is a verb; Demonstrate it to him. You will be surprised how much of an impact this makes in his life.

When we show people Jesus' love, they are impacted greatly. I bet he will ask you what makes you so kind and loving toward him. Then you have a foot in the door. Never push it though, especially when he is stressed out. That could be something that could push him away. Maybe invite him to church if he seems interested, but preaching at people usually doesn't do any good.

 

[parsley]

I could ask to do more activities that he enjoys too because honestly as of late I haven't been as helpful as I can be and I could be doing more things that we would both enjoy instead of mostly choosing to my interests (I wasn't always selfish I promise lol)....I do listen but I can learn to listen more effectively too to help him vent in positive ways and so it could decrease his tension too. I agree with you too, I should let him know lightly and never pressure it too much because I wouldn't want to put his back against the wall and have him feel defensive at all.

There -- you already have a plan.

Problems don't get solved in a day, and one person seldom solves another person's problem. The whole Christian life includes being there for each other day by day, sharing how God worked in your lives, encouraging faith steps, praising God together. It is much more about ongoing discipleship that black & white goals. Treat him like someone whom God has already called, and already worked with.

The way you can avoid a pushy approach is to expect higher things of him, without nagging. Compare a parent who says, "Did you do your homework yet?" -- which contains a twinge of mistrust.... to "What is your homework about today?" Both can convict the person to move forward and do it on their own, but the first is more likely to lead to resentment.

So a conversation might begin -- "Wow I was praying about something, and God answered it this way." Then pause and let the other person express something. There is no obligation... the person is not put on the spot, but faith-based conversation goes on.

 

[ISeeWhat4U]

Pray first, for God to make his heart receptive, then just be as honest and real as you would be about anything else. Inviting someone to church shouldn't be some big, momentous, intense event. Just say "Hey dude, wanna come to church with me this Sunday?" If he says no, just smile and say "OK, maybe another time, you're always welcome."

If he mentions things that he's going through or struggling with, just say "Would you like me to pray for you?" Doesn't have to be right there on the spot, unless he seems comfortable with that. And he might say no, and that's OK, too. Just say "Well, if you ever want me to, just say the word."

No drama needed He'll know that you're a caring and trustworthy friend who isn't going to push your faith on him, but the door is open for when HE'S ready to experience more.

Exactly.....great thinking because it's a way of giving a heads up that the door is always open for him but without trying to pull him through it at the same time LOL thanks !

Like everyone else seems to have said, I would say, first pray for him. Second, show him that you care about him by being there for him. Love is a verb; Demonstrate it to him. You will be surprised how much of an impact this makes in his life.

When we show people Jesus' love, they are impacted greatly. I bet he will ask you what makes you so kind and loving toward him. Then you have a foot in the door. Never push it though, especially when he is stressed out. That could be something that could push him away. Maybe invite him to church if he seems interested, but preaching at people usually doesn't do any good.

That was very wonderfully said because at the end of the day it's true showing love to a friend is a VERB & it is to only be shown not just said or spoken on which I HIGHLY agree with and I know the more fellowship and positive support I show the greater the impact will be! Thanks a bunch!!

 

[ISeeWhat4U]

There -- you already have a plan.

Problems don't get solved in a day, and one person seldom solves another person's problem. The whole Christian life includes being there for each other day by day, sharing how God worked in your lives, encouraging faith steps, praising God together. It is much more about ongoing discipleship that black & white goals. Treat him like someone whom God has already called, and already worked with.

The way you can avoid a pushy approach is to expect higher things of him, without nagging. Compare a parent who says, "Did you do your homework yet?" -- which contains a twinge of mistrust.... to "What is your homework about today?" Both can convict the person to move forward and do it on their own, but the first is more likely to lead to resentment.

So a conversation might begin -- "Wow I was praying about something, and God answered it this way." Then pause and let the other person express something. There is no obligation... the person is not put on the spot, but faith-based conversation goes on.

I like the way you worded the simple saying that parents usually say because when you switch some of the words around you are right it does NOT come off like there's no trust which always means for a much smoother approach......And you are right too I do expect higher things of him and I should show it. Thank you

 

[Ark100]

My best friend is an incredible and helpful friend who puts others before himself and I know he believes in god but he also has negative things that he deals with that I know stress him out A LOT! I just wanted to know what would you all think would be the best way I can approach him to wanting to increase his faith and help him feel better in general because he says he wants to go to church but then doesnt bring it up. I just want to be VERY respectful when I approach him and to NOT over step his boundaries or affect the trust that he has in me.

Tell him how good God is, what He's done in your life and how God can help him as well.
Invite him casually to go with you to church. if he says no, invite again another time. Do it casually, no pressure.

Pray for him.

 

[ISeeWhat4U]

Tell him how good God is, what He's done in your life and how God can help him as well.
Invite him casually to go with you to church. if he says no, invite again another time. Do it casually, no pressure.

Pray for him.

That's what I'll do for sure....that's what makes this so great is EVERYONE'S responses match well with all the other responses so I'm making one big plan out of it

 

[parsley]

when you switch some of the words around... smoother approach....I do expect higher things of him and I should show it. Thank you

Lol I hope you are not one of my kids reading my secrets right now!

 

[ISeeWhat4U]

Lol I hope you are not one of my kids reading my secrets right now!

Hahaha on no don't worry I'm not....and because of your WONDERFUL advice I'll never let anyone know of your secrets LOL