Question about abortion.

[SlayveX]

Here goes:

First off, allow me to lay out the current situation:

My girlfriend and I had been together for the better part of about 5 years, we were going strong and slated to eventually get married. Things lately just gradually...fell apart emotionally. The physical attraction still remained strong, but one cannot keep a relationship alive through sex alone, so we've decided to part ways.

Now, through the timespan of our split until about 3 days ago, we've both moved on and both had other partners-keynote #1.

She called me 3 days ago and said she was pregnant-keynote#2

She doesn't know if it's mine, especially since we were unfaithful during our relationship towards the end-keynote#3

We are both of the sound mind and body that neither of us would be able to have a healthy relationship, which would be an unsuitable environment for a baby to grow up in.

My main delima is that I would prefer her to have an abortion to save all future problems, namely, I don't believe in raising a child in a split family if there's a way to prevent it by any means.

She, on the other hand, is a devout christian, and says there is no way in hell she would get an abortion.


I guess my question to you guys is:
How does one convince a christian to have an abortion of a child that has the possibility of not being yours in the first place? If it's mine, I would be bound to love and care for the child as a parental necessity, which would, at this moment in life, destroy any chance of LIVING a life due to current financial and work related situations.

I refuse adoption
She refuses abortion.

 

[dvd_holc]

I have been in similiar events...but my ex-girlfriend actually wanted me to marry her. Still, she was a little wavier on if I was the father or not. Do you live in America?

 

[Sketcher]

She, on the other hand, is a devout christian, and says there is no way in hell she would get an abortion.


I guess my question to you guys is:
How does one convince a christian to have an abortion of a child that has the possibility of not being yours in the first place? If it's mine, I would be bound to love and care for the child as a parental necessity, which would, at this moment in life, destroy any chance of LIVING a life due to current financial and work related situations.

I refuse adoption
She refuses abortion.

So you would make her a murderer for your convenience? That is the worst kind of selfishness. Next to rape, I can't think of a thing worse to do to a woman than that.

Adoption is a much better option if you want nothing to do with this child. At least he/she gets a home and a shot at life. At least your ex won't have blood on her hands and complications.

 

[SlayveX]

so your view on the matter is 'my convenience'.

Read back over it and please understand that MY concern is the fact that there's a rather large possibility that it is not my child.

Try to look at this subjectively before you lash out with your religious convections.

@dvd_holc-yes, am and always have been American.

 

[Sketcher]

If it's not your child, you have no say in the matter. My response was assuming that the child was yours.

 

[LilLamb219]

There are consequences to every action. Sometimes we don't want to own up to our responsibilities and sometimes we want others to take a different route to make us happy...but that's not for YOU to decide. No one should convince her to ever have an abortion!

You slept with each other, so there is a chance it could be yours. That is your responsibility. If it's not your baby, then still be a man and allow her to show responsibility for her own actions by giving some support (I'm not talking financial).

You're probably very fearful of what the future brings and that is normal. But a child is a blessing not a hindrance. Todays world is too selfish

 

[SlayveX]

I do support her, I support her a 100% in whatever decision she makes. The problem I'm having is the fact that should she have the child, and should the child be mine, there's no chance for adoption, that's my child and my responsibility to take care and bring it up in this world.

Due to my convictions about that though, I'll literally be ruined. I just took a job in another state, but I'll have to turn it down and seek new employment closer to her in order to take care of the baby.

It's just such a hard thing to deal with because of the fact that she and I can't/won't be together

 

[Momma2H]

I do support her, I support her a 100% in whatever decision she makes. The problem I'm having is the fact that should she have the child, and should the child be mine, there's no chance for adoption, that's my child and my responsibility to take care and bring it up in this world.

Due to my convictions about that though, I'll literally be ruined. I just took a job in another state, but I'll have to turn it down and seek new employment closer to her in order to take care of the baby.

It's just such a hard thing to deal with because of the fact that she and I can't/won't be together

It doesn't really sound like you support her decision at all. Especially by asking her to do something that compromises her beliefs, just to suit your own desires. I can't believe you are saying these things and don't consider yourself to sound selfish. What about her? She'll have to raise the baby alone, and yet she's willing to do that and own up to her responsibilities. She's not forcing you to be in her life. And if you don't want to be in your baby's life (if it is your baby), then don't be. That's what child support is for. If you actually wanted the best for the baby anyway, you wouldn't want it dead. You're an adult and when you make a mess, you have to clean it up, not leave it for someone else to clean up. This is all assuming of course that you are the father, which there is a possibility of.

 

[£amb]

I do support her, I support her a 100% in whatever decision she makes. The problem I'm having is the fact that should she have the child, and should the child be mine, there's no chance for adoption, that's my child and my responsibility to take care and bring it up in this world.

Due to my convictions about that though, I'll literally be ruined. I just took a job in another state, but I'll have to turn it down and seek new employment closer to her in order to take care of the baby.

It's just such a hard thing to deal with because of the fact that she and I can't/won't be together

It's ultimately her choice on what she does with the baby. Even if it's yours. Hey, you both took the chance and now you two (if it's yours) have the responsibility to raise this child. How would you be ruined?

 

[dvd_holc]

This is hard time. I know that this no matter what will change your life.

First, I want to say that...as a guy, you don't have the "normal" rights you would expect...Legal, the mother is the primer parent. In a custody battle, no judge will grant a father over the mother the custody of a new born. The further problem is that as the child grows older the law won't change the primer care giver because of the emotional bond.

Second, the thing you have to wait on is if you are the father. This goes without saying...but if she goes for the adoption and then you establish you are the father. Then you can cancel it because you are the legal parent...but this would almost guarantee a custody battle. Most likely, would result with the mother retaining the child because of the leading data.

Third option, if you can let you pride go...have your parents be the either gaurdian or adopt the child. At a certain point they could sign over the child to you when you could handle the child...but then you still have to deal with the emotional bonds.

The biggest thing to me right now is that...if the child is yours and you don't get your way with the child...that your responce would be better to have an abortion. I want you to consider this from the babies viewpoint...is it to kill the baby? I don't think so...and only thing I can hope you will do is to make the sacrifice in your life even if you only get the child every other weekend. It is a long hard journey, but the child always responds to love when you give it to the child.

 

[SlayveX]

she doesn't want the child at all. She's pushing for Adoption.

 

[LilLamb219]

Since you don't want the child to live anyway, allow the poor baby to be adopted by some couple who most likely could never have a baby of their own. Don't be so selfish. Allow someone else to live a dream...to have a child.

 

[£amb]

she doesn't want the child at all. She's pushing for Adoption.

Then that's her decision. When the child is adopted then you won't have the worry of providing for it or child support.

Then you can live your life as you please and so can the child...

 

[Adstar]

Here goes:

First off, allow me to lay out the current situation:

My girlfriend and I had been together for the better part of about 5 years, we were going strong and slated to eventually get married. Things lately just gradually...fell apart emotionally. The physical attraction still remained strong, but one cannot keep a relationship alive through sex alone, so we've decided to part ways.

Now, through the timespan of our split until about 3 days ago, we've both moved on and both had other partners-keynote #1.

She called me 3 days ago and said she was pregnant-keynote#2

She doesn't know if it's mine, especially since we were unfaithful during our relationship towards the end-keynote#3

We are both of the sound mind and body that neither of us would be able to have a healthy relationship, which would be an unsuitable environment for a baby to grow up in.

My main delima is that I would prefer her to have an abortion to save all future problems, namely, I don't believe in raising a child in a split family if there's a way to prevent it by any means.

She, on the other hand, is a devout christian, and says there is no way in hell she would get an abortion.


I guess my question to you guys is:
How does one convince a christian to have an abortion of a child that has the possibility of not being yours in the first place? If it's mine, I would be bound to love and care for the child as a parental necessity, which would, at this moment in life, destroy any chance of LIVING a life due to current financial and work related situations.

I refuse adoption
She refuses abortion.

I thank God she is a Christian. You come into a Christian forum to get our adivce on how you can motivate a woman to comit murder???????? Thats amazing.


All Praise The Ancient Of Days

 

[Momma2H]

she doesn't want the child at all. She's pushing for Adoption.

I'm glad she's giving this baby a chance at a decent family who wants it. Once it gets adopted, you won't have to worry about it anymore. So, what's the problem?

 

[dvd_holc]

If the baby is his, then the problem is that the baby is his…He has a feeling and belief that he is responsible to provide, nurture, and protect the baby. But he is not in a position to do so. It is a hard thing to give up a child for adoption even the logical understanding of the qualifications of adoptive parents these days. The bonds of parents to the child are hard things to break with parents that have any amount of love in their life. But the question becomes can you have hope and faith that these new parents will do a good job?

Yes, the mother wants to give up the child…and it will be more difficult for her because she is about to go through some serious bonding with the baby. But…the question remains can the two of you (if she permits) find a good set of parents for the child? There are people who do this for a living. There are specifically Christian ones…

But please…don’t look to destroy a life just because it won’t be controlled by you…life is more precious even when it does not work out the way we plan it.

 

[Annoula]

imagine yourself in your mother's womb...

imagine that your mother didn't want you because you were out of her plans... she had other things to do...
imagine that your father didn't want you cause of financial difficulties or for any other reason...


put yourself in the position of the baby...


do you feel how it feels...?



many people have felt it ... in their bodies and in their souls ...

we are lucky to be alive today ... and talk to you ...

 

[NothingButTheBlood]

This really drove me crazy and I had to calm down before I posted. First, she can't be that devout if she is out sleeping around before marriage. She needs to get right with God. Second, if she feels abortion is murder why on Earth would you want to coerce her into one? Third, why is murder ok but adoption isn't? If all you want is freedom from raising the child adoption fits that same as abortion. Lastly, if you don't know for the sure they child is yours why should you have any say in what happens until you do know. If you had asked for general advice I would not have been ok with it but to aske how to get someone to murder for you is pretty low. If you don't like adoption you still have to sign off on it and can refuse. If you do you better have a family member signed up to take the kid or be ready to parent yourself.

 

[Reformationist]

Now, through the timespan of our split until about 3 days ago, we've both moved on and both had other partners-keynote #1.

How long have you been separated?

She called me 3 days ago and said she was pregnant-keynote#2

Okay.

She doesn't know if it's mine, especially since we were unfaithful during our relationship towards the end-keynote#3

Let me get this straight. You're saying that she had so many partners in such a short period of time that she doesn't know whose baby it is? Okay.

We are both of the sound mind and body that neither of us would be able to have a healthy relationship, which would be an unsuitable environment for a baby to grow up in.

How responsible. Or maybe, you shouldn't have been having sex with her in the first place...ya think?

My main delima is that I would prefer her to have an abortion to save all future problems, namely, I don't believe in raising a child in a split family if there's a way to prevent it by any means.

Whose problems is it that you prefer to avoid? Are they your problems or the baby's? It seems as if the situation you're facing is that you were having irresponsible sex with someone who is now pregnant and you wish to resolve that burden by murdering the ONLY innocent party in this mix, the baby.

She, on the other hand, is a devout christian, and says there is no way in hell she would get an abortion.

Was she a "devout Christian" when she was having sex with these "partners" she wasn't married to?

How does one convince a christian to have an abortion of a child that has the possibility of not being yours in the first place? If it's mine, I would be bound to love and care for the child as a parental necessity, which would, at this moment in life, destroy any chance of LIVING a life due to current financial and work related situations.

Oh. I get it. You wanted the sex without the responsibility. Here's your short answer, you don't convince a Christian of any such thing. You may convince your girlfriend but if she is now a devout Christian (which is not likely considering the decadant lifestyle she seems to be living) she'll hold herself, and the father of the baby, accountable for raising that child with love.

People who desire to "fix" the result of their irresponsibility by murdering children are the worst dregs of humanity.

Instead of murdering a baby, why don't you grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

 

[KataGraphe]

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