promise rings

[California Dreamin']

I've heard of this before. I think it's a really good idea and really makes more sense than a promise ring. I think I'd get some funny looks if I told someone I had a chastity ring.*wink*

i have a chastity ring

 

[Pope Gonzo]

I want to be engaged...

All in God's timing

Steph and I haven't bothered with promise rings or anything. We know we're gonna get married, and we probably know when... it's just a matter of having the money to buy the engagement ring! (One down side of Steph being a member here is that I can't exactly discuss the timing of my proposal or how I plan to do it... ah well, you guys will get your details eventually)

 

[GuruGreg]

I want to be engaged...

Hey, you don't want to rush into it either. I've watched people close to me get engaged and married either because it was what they wanted or they felt it was the time in their life for it. None of them are exactly happy with their marriages.

Just to relate to you and encourage you, I want to share my experiences.

My freshman year in college, I was an unbeliever and I went in search of a girlfriend. I was convinced with the change that I could have a girlfriend in a matter of weeks. Well, that didn't happen.

A couple of months later, I began dating a Disciples of Christ pastor's daughter, and things were going well. Then I went away over Christmas break (with two trips to Florida from Ohio, one with family and one for swimming), and didn't really think much about her or talk with her, but at school we saw each other all the time. When we returned to school, the chemistry just wasn't there, and we had spiraled down a physical path (no going all the way, thankfully, but far too many extracurriculars). About a month later I broke up with her, and she really didn't want to let go. Looking back, I realize that after that and through the rest of the semester I had a bout with depression, and I really felt lost.

That summer I was brought to a college bible study where we went through the Song of Solomon in a series of videos followed by discussions and lead by a fabulous married couple. It made me evaluate a lot of things in my life, and I gave my life to God. Did I still want a girlfriend? YES!!!

Over the next three years, I was a resident assistant and met many of the Freshman girls before most anyone else on campus. Each of the three years I found a girl that I liked and seemed to hit it off with. Each time, they would begin dating a good friend of mine several weeks later. Currently, one of those couples is married, one broke up after a couple of years, and the third is engaged to marry next summer. I actually went without a girlfriend for the rest of my undergraduate studies.

It wasn't until 4 years after my previous relationship that I had a girlfriend, and they were some very trying times. The odd thing is that she came along when I had begun to focus my life more on God and graduate school. Then I go to a Super Bowl Party, offer a ride, and begine talking. Somehow, I managed to ask her out when I dropped her off and she said yes. I left excited, but shocked that I had even asked. It just wasn't my style, but now after almost 18 months and getting engaged, I realized that God had prodded me to do it.

Ok, I know I'm going on and on, but my point is that we can't control when these things happen. When we try to force them and make them our priorities, that is often when we get slapped on the hands by God and are told to wait. It's only when we get our priorities back in order will He find that we are ready to take on that next step.

So, while I know you want to be engaged, God may have more in store before you get there. Just be happy with where you are, thank Him for everything he has given you, and look to do His work on a daily basis. He'll find a way to fit everything else around that.

 

[Glorianna]

My fiance is giving me his promise ring while we work to get a real engagement ring. I don't think it's such a bad idea and am really looking forward to wearing it.

GuruGreg, I totally know how you feel. That's exactly how it happened with my fiance and I. We had both recently given control of our lives, especially our dating lives, to God when we met each other.

 

[Memory's Flame]

I had a promise ring, my Husband (then boyfriend) gave it to me when I was 15 on Valentintes day (we'd been dating almost a year) he then proposed to me on my 18th birthday, and I said "No"... but I kept the promise ring; as kind of a "pre-engagement" and then 2 years later we got engaged, and 9 months later...Married!!

So yes; I like the idea of a promise ring!! Mine is something I will probably give to one of my children, just as a "momento" or something sappy like that!

 

[Living4Him03]

Honestly, I don't think pre-engagement rings are a good idea. A ring is nice, but not one that says " I promise to ask you to marry me.....if this and that" ...Without a committment a ring really doesn't mean much. I just don't see the point of pre-engagement I guess. You either get engaged at some point or you don't...why have a pre kind of thing? Guess it doesn't really make sense to me.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

Although I personally have issues with BOTH types of rings (promise and purity), I think the purity is a lot less of a waste of money than a promise - I had a promise ring, and it caused more problems than it did good things!

Save the money and do something special for each other. If you've come to a realisation that 'she/he is the one', then tell that person, and start getting some good counselling - don't give her a ring that she's only gonna wear for a couple of months.

Purity rings - all well and good - but be careful that your HEART is the thing stopping you from going to far - not just the ring. I know people who get too caught up in 'the rings is there to stop us' rather than seeing it for what it should be - a symbol of what is a deeply held belief inside. I had a purity ring and I slipped up -WHEN I WAS WEARING the ring!! Trust me - in a moment of desire, a ring doesn't stop you - it's the heart that does

Sasch

 

[Cordy]

I really don’t like the idea of promise ring. It is a promise that you will one day promise to promise. Just get on with things. If you are being led to marry – get engaged and married. If you can’t afford an engagement ring, who cares! Being engaged is NOT about a ring. I didn’t even get my “engagement ring” until several months after I was married. I wore a fake $10 ring (as did my then fiancé) until that time.

I know of couples who had the wedding planned, the church and reception reserved and invitation almost out, yet did consider themselves really “engaged” yet because they didn’t have a ring yet, or he didn’t “officially” propose with it. I find this really sad. Have we really bought into the jewellery marketing campaign to this degree? Yikes.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

Well my best friend broke up with her fiance, and 7 years later they got back together and were married 6 months later. The second time, there was no proposal - they just agreed they were getting married, and told people the date. She eventually got a ring though.

Sasch

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

I had one... from a guy I dated in Highschool, we were highschool sweethearts, and he gave me one for my birthday, and then 3 months later he cheeted on me. So yah I threw it back in his face adn I have no clue where it is today.

It dosent matter to me either way, they seem like a fluffy romantic high school tihng to do, but now, I dont think I would want to wear one. Im not a huge jewellery fan, so Im just waiting for the real diamond. None of this little here is one for now and I will give you a real one later thing...

 

[horuhe00]

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

Strong is the dark side.

 

[heavenliejediofthebeach]

i want a promise ring....

 

[Glorianna]

Hint, hint to a certain somebody hmm heavenlieisland?

 

[KristianJ]

Hint, hint to a certain somebody hmm heavenlieisland?

I geddit... And one day I might do so. But the ring I give would be an engagement one.

 

[Glorianna]

Wow, you got the hint!

 

[KristianJ]

Wow, you got the hint!

Hehe...

 

[Glorianna]

KristianJ, I'm glad it's you that's dating my friend!

 

[heavenliejediofthebeach]

KristianJ, I'm glad it's you that's dating my friend!

 

[KristianJ]

KristianJ, I'm glad it's you that's dating my friend!

Thanks, Glorianna! Just shows that I do love your friend so much that I will stand by her in happy times and when times are rough.

 

[Glorianna]

I know you will. And so will I.