promise rings

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww KJ!!! Thats soooooooooooo cute!

 

[heavenliejediofthebeach]

*whines*kris..why do u have to live SO far away from me

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

awwwww thats too b ad. I will be praying for you both

 

[heavenliejediofthebeach]

awwwww thats too b ad. I will be praying for you both

thanks

 

[97trsgl]

I gave my soon to be fiancee a pearl ring.

 

[fiveinjuly]

This thread is kind of making me feel bad. I know that no one here is trying to offend, but most of the posts that I've seen have looked on promise rings negatively. At least where I'm from a promise ring is kind of a serious thing because not everyone gets one. I don't really think of it as a pre-engagement because that sounds weird in my opinion.

My boyfiend (fiance very soon) and I have been together for almost two years and we've been talking about getting married very early in our relationship. He gave me a promise ring for valentine's day and I took it as a serious committment to me and to our relationship. He asked my parents for permission to marry me a couple of days ago.

I think that promise rings aren't all that negative when given from the right reason by the right person after the right amount of time. I believe that the right amount of time is when you feel like you can make or accept being committed to one person. That's just my opinion.

 

[KristianJ]

awwwww thats too b ad. I will be praying for you both

Thanks Candice...

 

[Cordy]

I don't really think of it as a pre-engagement because that sounds weird in my opinion.

I am really curious. What do you see it as then?

I think that promise rings aren't all that negative when given from the right reason by the right person after the right amount of time. I believe that the right amount of time is when you feel like you can make or accept being committed to one person.

He gave me a promise ring for valentine's day and I took it as a serious committment to me and to our relationship.

Ok, but if he is making a serious commitment to your relationship and he gives you promise ring... what is he promising? If it is marriage, shouldn't it be an egagment ring?

Why a promise ring before an engagment ring?

 

[fiveinjuly]

First of all I should state my view of promises. God dosen't break his promises and neither do I. When a person promises me something I take it seriously. To me the whole idea of being engaged to be engaged sounds ridiculous, for the simple fact that engagements can be broken. An engagement, in my book, is not a promise to get married. My fiance giving me a promise ring indicated to me that we were going to get married at some point in time. When he gives me an engagement ring it will mean that we are setting a specific time to get married.

I know that it is probably backward in a lot of people's opinion, but oh well.

I hope that I answered your questions. If not I'll give it another go.

 

[Cordy]

Thank you for the answer.

What I don’t understand is why a couple would promise to get married and not get on the plans of getting married. I think that if you are promising to marry, it means that you two are ready for the commitment (maturity, emotionally, spiritually etc.). So what are you waiting for – start planning the wedding!

I am guessing some might respond that some couples want to get married but cannot because of circumstances (ie. not finished school, don’t have enough money etc.). Personally, I think that most of these situations are not very good reasons/excuses. My husband and I are poor students, and got married in the middle of the school year. We knew we were being led to get married, so we did. And by working together, we have been able to make it through financially, academically, and our other goals better than if we were single.

I guess the root of my issue with promise rings is that I think that once a couple decides to commit to each other, they should be serious about it and get on with things (ie. set a date and get married). It is the same reason why I am against long engagments. I think that when we make a commitment, we should act on it as soon as we can.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I agree with mbams...

I had a 13 month engagement - now for me it was good, I eventually grew up enough in that time to realise it wasn't the right guy for me (I was 19 when I got engaged, he was 27)...

Now, having grown up a bit more, and have a realistic idea of what a marriage is, and the material I deem important in my future hubby, I am serious about having an engagement that lasts NO longer than six months.

And if we're both at the point where marriage is on the cards, THAT's the point we get engaged...

There's not much that requires an engagement to go longer than 6 months - if you're ready to get engaged, you're ready to get married. That's how it works in my books!

Sasch

 

[fiveinjuly]

I agree with your philosophy, but I guess that dosen't work for everyone. I know that I'll be engaged this month and married in June. That's 10 months, and I wish that it could be a shorter time, but since I we have to rent an apartment from the university we have to follow their rules. On top of that we both have high dollar scholarships that we need to keep, so I think that it is good for us to adjust to college a bit before we jump into marriage.

It seems a bit hypocritical since I'm not going to do it, but I think that you shouldn't wait forever to get married. Two year engagements *shudders*

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

That's why I said 'there's not much' rather than 'there's nothing' - it was more directed at those who take two years and then complain their not married yet. Unless you had some MAJOR financial hassles (ie not because you're having a $10000+ wedding, but because it would be a struggle at that point to move out of home/a flatmate situation) or were determined to finish school, I don't think there's much more!

Sasch

 

[fiveinjuly]

You're cool.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

ooo - can you say that again? I don't hear that too much around here!

Sasch

 

[KristianJ]

ooo - can you say that again? I don't hear that too much around here!

Sasch

He's pretty much right, Sasch...you got some great points that you shared with us and in my book that means you're cool. Plus the fact you're an Aussie helps too.

 

[tulipbeliever]

A promise ring to me is not an important thing. I feel like a lot of you seeing it as just a ring. It will be special to me when it is an engagement ring. However, after saying that I would like to add that, after me and my boyfriend got serious, he talked to me about wearing something on my body that shows my line of submission. First being God and Christ, second the elders of my church, and lastly to him (my boyfriend - to some this could be complicated considering he is one of the elders in my church, but I think ya'll get the point). Since I am not a jewelry person, he saw that as a uniqueness about me, and got me a simple Cross necklace. Since this necklace holds the meaning that it does I never take it off. IMO this necklace is way more special to me than any promise ring could ever be, and to make it better, the meaning behind my necklace is Biblical!

 

[fiveinjuly]

He's pretty much right, Sasch...you got some great points that you shared with us and in my book that means you're cool. Plus the fact you're an Aussie helps too.

I love Aussies!!!! Hugh Jackman *faint* Russel Crowe *faint*

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I agree - that Hugh is yummy AND he's a family guy - and an awesome hubby (from what he says about his wife and she him)...

Hope I marry someone with similar values to him (plus a stong Christian on top - you couldn't go wrong!)

Oh - tulip, I'm sorry, maybe I'm reading your post wrong, but he bought you a necklace 'to show your line of submission'??? Hmm, doesn't sound all that 'kosher' to me...

I could be reading it wrong - could you elaborate please? Ta...

Sasch

 

[tulipbeliever]

Oh - tulip, I'm sorry, maybe I'm reading your post wrong, but he bought you a necklace 'to show your line of submission'??? Hmm, doesn't sound all that 'kosher' to me...

I could be reading it wrong - could you elaborate please? Ta...

Sasch

I believe that for a Christian woman there is a line of submission that is to be followed. She has to submit to God and Jesus, She has to submit to the pastors/elders of her church, and then depending on her "place in life" (this is hard to define when one leaves out from under her parents, but either her parents, and her boyfriend or just her parents or just her boyfriend). Anyway, the necklace was to be a reminder to me of the headships that I fall under. It goes with 1 Corinthians 11: 1-22. (Hear Paul is talking about having coverings during church, I just take it out in public as well.) I don't know if you have heard of a Dr. Paige Patterson, but I believe that his wife takes on this same example too. I believe that she is the one that walks around with a hat on all the time, or at least in church. I know of another woman that I may be confusing her with that wears one all the time for this same reason. I hope that helps.