Lin, that's an interesting concept, and very savvy!
The whole point of a pre-nup, like a living will, is to have an agreed contingency plan of action, should things not happen as planned.
I'm still trying to figure out how ppl think that signing a pre-nup, especially between older couples with assets, or between younger couples with an inheritance, constitutes an "expectation" of divorce in the future.
Let me put it this way...A living will is a legal document which states your wishes, in the event that you are so ill or injured that you cannot make decisions regarding your own health care. For example, I have a "DNR" living will...The DNR stands for "do not resuscitate". Mine also states that I'm not to be put on life support, and that I am to become an organ donor should the above orders cause death. Copies of that living will were given to my spouse, my primary physician, and my parents.
Now, one could say, I suppose, that I'm "willing" those circumstances to happen. But that's not the case. Simply put, in the event that I am so injured that I cannot make those decisions, then...Well, I have already made those decisions, put them on paper, had them notarized, and in the hands of those people who are most likely to make a decision regarding my care.
There's not going to be a question of what my wishes are, even when I'm unconscious, brain-damaged, in a coma, whatever.
But at the same time, it's not something I wish to happen.
A pre-nup is of the same ilk, in many ways. It's a contingency plan, not a clue as to how committed a person is to the marriage.
We can be as high-minded and ideological as we like, but the truth is that (in the US) half of couples in first marriages WILL DIVORCE. Sixty percent (60%) of couples in a second marriage will divorce, as well. From what I've seen in real life, as well as on this board, not every Christian couple stays together. And not every Christian couple "plays nice" during a divorce. Amicable divorces are very few and far between, and it's foolish to pretend that it won't "happen to me".
It's the result of living in a fallen world. Even a Christian can, and does, fall, and there's no guarantee that even the most pious marriage won't fall apart. It happens. I'd love to say that pre-nups aren't necessary, and in cases with no assets, it's not necessary because there's nothing to allocate. But for those with assets, it should be done...Otherwise, in case a divorce does happen, it's already decided.
Now, one last thing. When my uncle married, his wife brought in a sizeable amount of assets into the marriage. A pre-nup was signed. When she died of breast cancer thirty years later, they were still together, never needing the pre-nup. They used her living will, of course, but not the pre-nup. But my uncle always said it was money well spent, because his love was for the woman, not a lust for property.
And my aunt? She once made the comment that, even though she knew she could leave at any time and retain her assets (and therefore support herself and her four kids), it didn't tempt her in the least. She was content to be with my uncle, and him with her. Theirs is a love story that belies the notion that "pre-nups fail a marriage before it even begins".
