Pre-nuptial agreement - Should it exist for a Christian couple?

[joolsonline]

I understand I'm still single, but I've always wondered, should a Christian couple *avoid* signing a pre-nuptial agreement of some kind before a marriage, since if God is in the relationship, there should be no reason for a divorce.

I personally find it the idea a bit irksome, since it's like having a Christian teen carrying a packet of condoms when you should in fact NOT be having any casual sex before marriage.

Just curious to hear your view and opinions, especially for partners that have established businesses.

jools

 

[MaraPetra]

This is actually interesting!

In a perfect Christian world, pre-nups wouldn't be necessary. You say your vows, become one, and live in wedded Christian bliss till you either die, or you get Raptured.

Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world. Marriages aren't guaranteed to last forever. For people bringing older assets into the marriage, it's a quandary. If you write a pre-nup, people take it as a hint that you're not as sure about the solidity of the marriage. If you don't do the pre-nup, people think you're so in love that you've become a besotted fool.

Even though one person may be totally and completely committed to making the marriage work, the other person may not be so...And who knows what the future may bring? A perfectly smooth marriage today could very well be deteriorated at one time or another. I don't think anyone enters a marriage believing that it will one day end in a divorce.

So, what's a Christian to do?

A pre-nup is like a living will...You pray you never have to use it, but it's great to know that it's taken care of, should circumstances change and you need it.

 

[Just4Jesus]

This is actually interesting!

In a perfect Christian world, pre-nups wouldn't be necessary. You say your vows, become one, and live in wedded Christian bliss till you either die, or you get Raptured.

Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world. Marriages aren't guaranteed to last forever. For people bringing older assets into the marriage, it's a quandary. If you write a pre-nup, people take it as a hint that you're not as sure about the solidity of the marriage. If you don't do the pre-nup, people think you're so in love that you've become a besotted fool.

Even though one person may be totally and completely committed to making the marriage work, the other person may not be so...And who knows what the future may bring? A perfectly smooth marriage today could very well be deteriorated at one time or another. I don't think anyone enters a marriage believing that it will one day end in a divorce.

So, what's a Christian to do?

A pre-nup is like a living will...You pray you never have to use it, but it's great to know that it's taken care of, should circumstances change and you need it.

I agree

 

[Missing]

Okay, I'll be the odd man out. I don't agree with pre-nups in general, so my answer would be no. To me it's like saying "well if it doesn't work out, we can always get a divorce" which I have heard many times and I think is 2 strikes against your marriage from the beginning. It displays a lack of committment on some level and a lack of faith in your spouse. If you don't believe your spouse will be fair to you if you ever get a divorce (which you shouldn't be thinking of to begin with as far as I am concerned), then why are you marrying this person? There is obviously trust issues on some level that should be re-examined before you ever say 'I do'. Personally, I have never known anyone who has considered a pre-nup.

/$.02

 

[VictorianAngel84]

Okay, I'll be the odd man out. I don't agree with pre-nups in general, so my answer would be no. To me it's like saying "well if it doesn't work out, we can always get a divorce" which I have heard many times and I think is 2 strikes against your marriage from the beginning. It displays a lack of committment on some level and a lack of faith in your spouse. If you don't believe your spouse will be fair to you if you ever get a divorce (which you shouldn't be thinking of to begin with as far as I am concerned), then why are you marrying this person? There is obviously trust issues on some level that should be re-examined before you ever say 'I do'. Personally, I have never known anyone who has considered a pre-nup.
/$.02

Agreed!

 

[MoodyBlue]

What about in cases of an elderly couple marrying, and both parties bring significant assets, accumulated over a lifetime, to the marriage? I think a pre-nup would certainly be advisable in such circumstances.

 

[bliz]

As a general rule, no, I don't think pre-nups are appropriate for Christians.

But I do think there MAY be a place for them in later-in-life marriages, when there is family property or a family business involved.

 

[Cright]

I would not sign one...
as a general rule I think they're a bad idea.
If someone else chooses to, it's their business I guess.

 

[ClaireZ]

As a general rule, no, I don't think pre-nups are appropriate for Christians.

But I do think there MAY be a place for them in later-in-life marriages, when there is family property or a family business involved.

Agreed! Two kids starting out with nothing have no reason for a prenup, but people who's families have given them a lot of money or where a family business is involved should have a prenup.

I also agree in thier use in late in life marriages so that money and property that one has earmarked to leave to one's children doesn't go outside the family.

Prenups are not only useful in case of divorce, but can be used to clear up certain issues that may arise in a marriage. True these things should be decided in conversation before marriage, but this way it is in writing.

 

[GutterRat]

Nope. No way - no how - no reason. I don't care if I'm 95 and a billionaire - I wouldn't marry a woman if I felt I needed a pre-nup- or - if she asked me to sign one. She can pack her bags.

 

[newyorknewyork]

She can pack her bags.

ROFL!!

 

[newyorknewyork]

I'm glad this thread was started.. I was thinking about this recently and came on this morning about to start a thread like this myself and saw someone had already started it! cool!

i like reading the pros and cons.. there will always be pros and cons.. to everything..

im still making up my mind i guess..

 

[GutterRat]

Well, to me...PreNup ='s no trust. Pre-Nup= a lack of commitment. Why do you need a "just in case" if you are making a commitment?

 

[SoldierOfTheKing]

Remember, the absence of a pre-nup will not divorce proof your marriage. Also, under present law it takes two to marry, but only one to divorce. You cannot guarantee that your spouse will not divorce you, even if you do everything right.

 

[newyorknewyork]

Remember, the absence of a pre-nup will not divorce proof your marriage. Also, under present law it takes two to marry, but only one to divorce. You cannot guarantee that your spouse will not divorce you, even if you do everything right.

 

[HeatherJay]

As a rule, no, I don't think pre-nups are appropriate or conducive to any marriage, Christian or non. I think it says in a pretty obvious way that you place more importance on your material possessions than on the strength of your love and commitment to one another. I don't think that I could ever marry a man who would only agree to marry me if I agreed to sign a pre-nup. I mean, how can you cleave to each other and become one flesh if, from the very beginning, there's this certain part of your partner's life that you are never allowed to be a part of. The whole "hands off, that's mine" line of thinking just does not fit in at all with the perfect partnership that marriage is meant to be.

Sure some people probably make it work, but that's my opinion.

 

[BigNorsk]

I think pre-nups are usually used improperly, I also think Jews are very astute in how they use them.

For example, the usual way we see them is say a man wants to protect his assets from the possibility of divorce, he has the woman sign that she gives up what she would otherwise be legally entitled to.

The way the Jews use them is that the man, if he decided to divorce his wife, would give her more than he would be legally required to. In other words, they use the pre-nup to make divorce less likely, not to give the couple an easy way out.

Marv

 

[Svt4Him]

As a rule, no, I don't think pre-nups are appropriate or conducive to any marriage, Christian or non. I think it says in a pretty obvious way that you place more importance on your material possessions than on the strength of your love and commitment to one another. I don't think that I could ever marry a man who would only agree to marry me if I agreed to sign a pre-nup. I mean, how can you cleave to each other and become one flesh if, from the very beginning, there's this certain part of your partner's life that you are never allowed to be a part of. The whole "hands off, that's mine" line of thinking just does not fit in at all with the perfect partnership that marriage is meant to be.

Sure some people probably make it work, but that's my opinion.

But a prenup only takes effect in a divorce. If I got my wife to sign one, I am not saying I don't trust her, or am not giving something to her, I'm saying in a divorce, this is what we will do. What you are saying is you would never agree to marry a man if he didn't let you take half or more of everything if you divorced.

Now saying I agree nor saying I disagree, I find the topic interesting. My grandmother married men then left them with half of everything, seven times at last count. The last man lost quite a lot, and I wish he had one.

 

[bliz]

Remember, the absence of a pre-nup will not divorce proof your marriage. Also, under present law it takes two to marry, but only one to divorce. You cannot guarantee that your spouse will not divorce you, even if you do everything right.

Excellent point! I know people who have been divorced against their will, and one who was divorced without her knowledge!

 

[HeatherJay]

I know that...I understand completely the purpose of a pre-nup. But my comment stands, I feel it places an immediate priority on things as opposed to trust in the love that's shared by a couple and the integrity of the person being asked to sign. I feel it says that despite how much we love one another, this person STILL doesn't trust me enough to continue to be a person of integrity and character should our marriage end in divorce.

I believe that choosing our partners well is of the utmost importance. I would want to make sure that I was planning to share a life with a man of integrity, honor, and character...and I would hope that he would pick me based on the same criteria. And I would expect that integrity, honor, and noble character to continue, regardless of whether we make it as a couple or not.

I realize that it may seem a naive way of looking at things, but if you can't trust this person that you supposedly love beyond all others to take care of you and your assets responsibly and with integrity, then why get married at all?

That's my reasoning, and my comment stands that I wouldn't be able to marry a man who didn't believe that I was a person of a honorable character...and he feels the need for an insurance policy, just in case I'm not. LOL, honestly, I feel like I would still be kind and considerate even to my hypothetical-soon-to-be-ex-husband...lol, seriously, I don't think I'd ever try to take unfair advantage of such a situation...and I'd need a man who could trust enough in that without a document to make sure of it. It's just something that I, personally, could never do. I'm sure some people could go ahead with a marriage that starts off this way and everything is hunky-dory...I personally could not.