First of all, thank you. Thank you to the courageous survivors who come to this forum to help other survivors (and yourselves). You are also a great inspiration to me and other secondary survivors (if I am really "surviving" right now).
My "story" (as briefly as possible) is that I am an attorney from the USA. Two years ago I fell in love with a girl from a very poor village in a very poor country. I will call her "Preciosa."
From the beginning Preciosa told me that I was too good for her. She said that there were things about her past that she was trying to change. She didn't understand why an attorney from the USA would fall in love with a girl "like her."
The last two years have been challenging. Our relationship was long distance. She was ready to talk about marriage, but not to call me her boyfriend. It is my dream to marry her, but every time anything went wrong (problems at her university, with her family, with her job) she would decide that me and her could not work. She would say that she "tried to love me," but she didn't know how to love anyone. She would push me away and we wouldn't talk for months.
More than once she left me to rush into the arms of her ex-boyfriend or someone else, but we always came back together and she never got help. Eventually she opened up to me about her past. She was sexually abused as a child, she saw her father rape her mom, and many other awful things. She had never told anyone else.
She told me that the reason she pushed me away was because she thought one day I would wake up and realize she was not good enough for me and leave her. She has hurt me so many times, and even now she is with a guy who drinks, smokes, gambles, and tries to act like a "gangster." It's like she has decided that is all she deserves.
I want to be clear, that when things are going well she is the one pushing for us to get married as soon as possible. She has introduced me to her entire family (I traveled to her country several times) and would introduce me to people as her future husband.
She struggled to say nice things at the best of times. One time I was going to visit her and (I later found out) she was telling all of her friends "my fiance is coming!" Meanwhile, she told me "don't forget friends don't hold hands." I felt like she always had to keep me "down."
She is in the USA now, and dating this other guy. Right before she told me about him she had been calling me again. She was even calling my parents and telling them she wanted to come. Then a close relative of hers dies, she got depressed and pushed me away.
I am not someone who frequently claims that God "speaks" to him. This is my first time. However, three weeks ago I had a vision of Preciosa when I was in church. She was worshiping Jesus. I fell to my knees and started to cry.
I think I am just looking for advice on how I should be praying for her. I'm never sure what she wants or needs. I hardly even know or understand what I have been through in the last two years. My friends think I am stupid for believing in her and believing in God's ability to heal her. We are not talking at the moment. The last thing I told her is that it would hurt me too much to call her when she is seeing someone else, but she can always call me. She hasn't.
My "story" (as briefly as possible) is that I am an attorney from the USA. Two years ago I fell in love with a girl from a very poor village in a very poor country. I will call her "Preciosa."
From the beginning Preciosa told me that I was too good for her. She said that there were things about her past that she was trying to change. She didn't understand why an attorney from the USA would fall in love with a girl "like her."
The last two years have been challenging. Our relationship was long distance. She was ready to talk about marriage, but not to call me her boyfriend. It is my dream to marry her, but every time anything went wrong (problems at her university, with her family, with her job) she would decide that me and her could not work. She would say that she "tried to love me," but she didn't know how to love anyone. She would push me away and we wouldn't talk for months.
More than once she left me to rush into the arms of her ex-boyfriend or someone else, but we always came back together and she never got help. Eventually she opened up to me about her past. She was sexually abused as a child, she saw her father rape her mom, and many other awful things. She had never told anyone else.
She told me that the reason she pushed me away was because she thought one day I would wake up and realize she was not good enough for me and leave her. She has hurt me so many times, and even now she is with a guy who drinks, smokes, gambles, and tries to act like a "gangster." It's like she has decided that is all she deserves.
I want to be clear, that when things are going well she is the one pushing for us to get married as soon as possible. She has introduced me to her entire family (I traveled to her country several times) and would introduce me to people as her future husband.
She struggled to say nice things at the best of times. One time I was going to visit her and (I later found out) she was telling all of her friends "my fiance is coming!" Meanwhile, she told me "don't forget friends don't hold hands." I felt like she always had to keep me "down."
She is in the USA now, and dating this other guy. Right before she told me about him she had been calling me again. She was even calling my parents and telling them she wanted to come. Then a close relative of hers dies, she got depressed and pushed me away.
I am not someone who frequently claims that God "speaks" to him. This is my first time. However, three weeks ago I had a vision of Preciosa when I was in church. She was worshiping Jesus. I fell to my knees and started to cry.
I think I am just looking for advice on how I should be praying for her. I'm never sure what she wants or needs. I hardly even know or understand what I have been through in the last two years. My friends think I am stupid for believing in her and believing in God's ability to heal her. We are not talking at the moment. The last thing I told her is that it would hurt me too much to call her when she is seeing someone else, but she can always call me. She hasn't.
