Post here when you feel like cutting

[Mrs.Sidhe]

please help...pray for me--send me good thoughts or energy. I feel like I want to cut and I know I can't and I know I shouldn't. But I feel so dead inside......I don't know what to do.

 

[Akathist]

please help...pray for me--send me good thoughts or energy. I feel like I want to cut and I know I can't and I know I shouldn't. But I feel so dead inside......I don't know what to do.

Hugs my dear!

I am so proud of you for not letting yourself cut. That feeling of being dead inside is really rough. It can be hard to fight against the urge but you did!

My suggestion is that you find a prayer that works for you to say when you feel that way. A written prayer can be such a great help. I have a favorite one here:

Dear Lord,

The dark clouds of trouble gather above me, and the grief of torments terrify me. Though I find myself in a state of suffering, I do not complain against you, O Good One, for you are my support and the unshaken rock upon which I place my hope.

You know God the cause of my sorrows, and you continue to look after me. Even in my sufferings, I know that you love me, and it is this very knowledge that strengthens me. Thus hoping in your love and goodness, I shall not allow these assaults to overcome me; rather I will fight with courage, and confident in your help, I shall be victorious.

It is you that guide the world and the fate of morals; thus direct the ship of my life which is assailed by the waves of temptations so that it may reach the calm harbor. Alone, I fight in vain against the tempests of life, for without you I can do nothing. I therefore flee to you, O Good One, and I pray: Come to my aid and save me by Your might, just as you once saved Peter who came to you upon the water. Stretch out your hand to me as you did to him, O Lord of mercy and do not delay.
Amen.

There are some other ones on my forums homepage. (link is bottom right of all my posts)

I also wrote you a pm!

 

[praying]

Praying, sending good thoughts, hugs, blessings and anything to help you through.


Can we ask what sparked this?

Akathist idea is a really good one, praying through it, repeating it like a mantra. Do you have a counselor

 

[Mrs.Sidhe]

What sparked this....

Its a lot of things. I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues and they have all kind of come to a head--making my depression/anxiety/mania all the much worse. I'm still pretty much dealing with losing my son and all my famly in the time from of 3 years. I feel weak for not "getting over it" by now. I feel I should have but I haven't. I mean I've moved on--but everything lately feels so raw. Now that I have Ruby I want my family so much but I don't have them and I feel incredibly lonely where I live now since we moved in December. And as much as Sidhe's mom and family (well most of them) try to help me feel accepted in the family I feel like an outcast. Most of my "friends" from where I used to live have stopped talking to me since I moved and since Ruby was born--they've just moved on to other friends. Sidhe and I are going through a rough patch in our marriage right now--I mean we aren't going to divorce or anything but its been really stressful. I also feel like that I'm a horrible wife and mom and that I need to just do everything better and I just don't see to be able to do that. Ruby's healthy and happy but I still feel like I'm not good enough as a mom and I just feel worthless. I mean I don't even have a degree like everyone else in Sidhe's family--I thought at the very least I could be a good enough mother--but I don't feel like I am. I feel bad for being depressed so--I mean what do I have to be depressed about? I should just get over it...

I'm sorry I can't talk anymore..

 

[Mrs.Sidhe]

Oh..forgot...

I do not have a counselor yet--but I'm going to talk to the organization that got me a counselor and medication before and see about getting back on meds....

 

[ChristInAction]

I dont think tonights gonna end well..

 

[Mayflower1]

edit

 

[praying]

Lilly please keep posting I am here.

 

[Mayflower1]

edit

 

[Ramona]

Feeling empty and horrible. Prayers and general good will would be really appreciated.

 

[praying]

Sending hugs, prayers and blessings Hallie

 

[Nobility]

I'm praying too hun...

 

[Tenebrae]

Ich bin eine dumkopf

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

I don't want them to see me this way.

hah i know THAT feeling

 

[Mrs.Sidhe]

praying for you lilly

 

[praying]

What sparked this....

Its a lot of things. I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues and they have all kind of come to a head--making my depression/anxiety/mania all the much worse. I'm still pretty much dealing with losing my son and all my famly in the time from of 3 years. I feel weak for not "getting over it" by now. I feel I should have but I haven't. I mean I've moved on--but everything lately feels so raw. Now that I have Ruby I want my family so much but I don't have them and I feel incredibly lonely where I live now since we moved in December. And as much as Sidhe's mom and family (well most of them) try to help me feel accepted in the family I feel like an outcast. Most of my "friends" from where I used to live have stopped talking to me since I moved and since Ruby was born--they've just moved on to other friends. Sidhe and I are going through a rough patch in our marriage right now--I mean we aren't going to divorce or anything but its been really stressful. I also feel like that I'm a horrible wife and mom and that I need to just do everything better and I just don't see to be able to do that. Ruby's healthy and happy but I still feel like I'm not good enough as a mom and I just feel worthless. I mean I don't even have a degree like everyone else in Sidhe's family--I thought at the very least I could be a good enough mother--but I don't feel like I am. I feel bad for being depressed so--I mean what do I have to be depressed about? I should just get over it...

I'm sorry I can't talk anymore..

{{{{Mrs Sidhe}}}



I think counseling and meds will help you a great deal so I am glad you are contacting someone. I remember when I first started suffering from depression thinking just like you, why can’t I, why don’t I etc etc. It spirals in your mind and your mind always seems to make it worse.

You said something very important about your being a Mom “Ruby's healthy and happy”. She is a beautiful little girl and all the pics I have seen of her she looks exactly that, healthy and happy.


{{{{Mrs Sidhe}}}

 

[Loopi]

Feeling really cutty. I have no real idea why. I skipped out on going to college today, again, no idea why. I woke up and just couldn't face it. And now i'm sat in my living room with my dad, step mom and boyfriend, and all i want to do is...yeah. *Sighs* i feel like everytime i get these urges i'm failing. I feel like a failure.

 

[Ramona]

Feeling somewhat horrific right now. I know that it probably isn't even warranted anymore, but the hopelessness just won't go away.

 

[Mayflower1]

Feeling really cutty. I have no real idea why. I skipped out on going to college today, again, no idea why. I woke up and just couldn't face it. And now i'm sat in my living room with my dad, step mom and boyfriend, and all i want to do is...yeah. *Sighs* i feel like everytime i get these urges i'm failing. I feel like a failure.

ah, Loopi! Many times feelings can lie to us, and they have lied to me so many times. But you are not a failure. 1 Peter 2:9 says "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession...." a people for God's own possession are definitely not failures... and if we are not failures in God's eyes, then we don't have to see ourselves as failures either... hang in there. Keep going. Don't give up. You can do it. I believe in you! And I am praying for you as well.

Feeling somewhat horrific right now. I know that it probably isn't even warranted anymore, but the hopelessness just won't go away

" Father, I pray for WorldFriction, that you will give her a peace beyond all comprehension. Give her hope and show her that You love her very deeply. In Jesus Name, Amen."

 

[Mrs.Sidhe]

Feeling somewhat horrific right now. I know that it probably isn't even warranted anymore, but the hopelessness just won't go away.

I'm praying for you hun....