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Post here when you feel like cutting

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LazeyWinde

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secretx said:
hi,
right now I want to do it so much!
This week has been so busy, I've been in so many places where there are too many people for my liking, mostly at the practices, and the whole few hours I'm there, it feels like everyone is just staring at me, so this makes me feel so uncomfortable! They used to not be this bad, going there, but since my SI came back, everything is just a horrible time. The whole time all I can think of is going to the bathroom on the break and doing a cut. Then when I start thinking of this, I make mistakes, because I'm not concentrating, and it feels like people will look more because of this :o . Then people start to talk to me, and I don't know what to say, because I hate talking in front of people, not wanting to say something weird, so I look stupid. It's like a never ending circle, getting worse as it goes on.
I also have to take the bus in the mornings, and sit in the front where there are the only seats left, and it feels like everyone is looking at me, so the same thing happens.
Right now I don't care what people say, I just want to do one, I don't care what happens.
Please help me :help:
Click to expand...
*Hugs Secret*
It'll be ok. For me practicing my deep breathing helps (Slow deep breaths so deep your stomach rises, not your chest. Count to ten as you inhale, count back down to one as you exhale) when I get anxious like that, and prayer never hurts.

Hang in there guys.
 
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HolyOne87

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secretx said:
hi,
right now I want to do it so much!
This week has been so busy, I've been in so many places where there are too many people for my liking, mostly at the practices, and the whole few hours I'm there, it feels like everyone is just staring at me, so this makes me feel so uncomfortable! They used to not be this bad, going there, but since my SI came back, everything is just a horrible time. The whole time all I can think of is going to the bathroom on the break and doing a cut. Then when I start thinking of this, I make mistakes, because I'm not concentrating, and it feels like people will look more because of this :o . Then people start to talk to me, and I don't know what to say, because I hate talking in front of people, not wanting to say something weird, so I look stupid. It's like a never ending circle, getting worse as it goes on.
I also have to take the bus in the mornings, and sit in the front where there are the only seats left, and it feels like everyone is looking at me, so the same thing happens.
Right now I don't care what people say, I just want to do one, I don't care what happens.
Please help me :help:
Click to expand...

sounds like a scary thing. I get that way too, when I enter rooms at school. I am the oldest in my short story class and everyone else is fresh out of HS and all mostly know each other, so its pretty bad.
I feel you should concentrate more on what you need to do rather then what everyone else is doing...as hard as that sounds. Just do what you need to do at your practice and not let others distract you from that.
I hope things do get better..and I hope the urge to cut lessens.
:hug:
 
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secretx

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ok, like the title says :( .
I made sooooo many mistakes tonight, and I don't think the person I was sitting with liked me very much to start off with.
Then I look through the program, and there's a picture in there where I look like a total idiot. I don't know why they had to use that photo :cry:
I don't care if my mom sees anything anymore, I just want to feel better, and I don't know any other way I can besides that.
Oh and on top of that, my friends sort of ditched me last night. I know they aren't trying to, but it seemed like it. And one of them called me a 'wet towel' and was being so incredibly harsh, saying I act like I do just for attention, just because I won't tell him that I SI. I told two friends, but I really don't want to tell the whole world obviously.
I'm sorry if it seems like I'm posting everyday, just tell me if I'm getting annoying. :sigh:
 
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HolyOne87

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secretx said:
ok, like the title says :( .
I made sooooo many mistakes tonight, and I don't think the person I was sitting with liked me very much to start off with.
Then I look through the program, and there's a picture in there where I look like a total idiot. I don't know why they had to use that photo :cry:
I don't care if my mom sees anything anymore, I just want to feel better, and I don't know any other way I can besides that.
Oh and on top of that, my friends sort of ditched me last night. I know they aren't trying to, but it seemed like it. And one of them called me a 'wet towel' and was being so incredibly harsh, saying I act like I do just for attention, just because I won't tell him that I SI. I told two friends, but I really don't want to tell the whole world obviously.
I'm sorry if it seems like I'm posting everyday, just tell me if I'm getting annoying. :sigh:
Click to expand...

thats not really nice of your "friends" to do..friends dont do that. I hate when people say that..that we cut for attention...to me, thats a complete lie.
I am sorry that you fell..I hope God will help you pick yourself back up and try to fight the urges again.
And dont be sorry for posting..Thats what we are here for..to encourage and help.
:hug:Many hugs :hug:
 
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LazeyWinde

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secretx said:
ok, like the title says :( .
I made sooooo many mistakes tonight, and I don't think the person I was sitting with liked me very much to start off with.
Then I look through the program, and there's a picture in there where I look like a total idiot. I don't know why they had to use that photo :cry:
I don't care if my mom sees anything anymore, I just want to feel better, and I don't know any other way I can besides that.
Oh and on top of that, my friends sort of ditched me last night. I know they aren't trying to, but it seemed like it. And one of them called me a 'wet towel' and was being so incredibly harsh, saying I act like I do just for attention, just because I won't tell him that I SI. I told two friends, but I really don't want to tell the whole world obviously.
I'm sorry if it seems like I'm posting everyday, just tell me if I'm getting annoying. :sigh:
Click to expand...
*Hugs Secret*
I post here all the time, especially when I'm going through a rough patch. I hope things get better for you soon.
 
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LazeyWinde

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ConcreteAngel said:
i wanna cut so badly...everything's too hard...i have to find a new psych now and that's just all too hard.
Click to expand...
*Hugs Concrete*
Hang in there, it'll get better. PM/IM me if you ever need someone to talk to.
 
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