Post here when you feel like cutting

[NinadeDios777]

ok, i know, its been a while, but i don't know where else to get this out:

I CANNOT TAKE OTHER PEOPLES BURDENS ON TOP OF MY OWN!

there. i've admitted it.
i feel like a failure. this isn't how its supposed to be. i've always swallowed my pain and just been there for everyone like always. but right now, i can't. i know. i know. i'm horrible.

there, i've admitted it. i feel better now. slightly.

 

[littlevoice]

ok, i know, its been a while, but i don't know where else to get this out:

I CANNOT TAKE OTHER PEOPLES BURDENS ON TOP OF MY OWN!

there. i've admitted it.
i feel like a failure. this isn't how its supposed to be. i've always swallowed my pain and just been there for everyone like always. but right now, i can't. i know. i know. i'm horrible.

there, i've admitted it. i feel better now. slightly.

It's perfectly fine to feel that way. Sometimes I do too. Sometimes when I am being the "listener" I get annoyed because I have so many problems and I feel like I can't take in any more. I am always the listener. I feel nobody is there for me.

Please know that you can PM me if you would like to be the talker, not the listener, for once. It's not a horrible thing. We all feel that way sometimes.

 

[HolyOne87]

ok, i know, its been a while, but i don't know where else to get this out:

I CANNOT TAKE OTHER PEOPLES BURDENS ON TOP OF MY OWN!

there. i've admitted it.
i feel like a failure. this isn't how its supposed to be. i've always swallowed my pain and just been there for everyone like always. but right now, i can't. i know. i know. i'm horrible.

there, i've admitted it. i feel better now. slightly.

i know what you mean. and you arent a failure. Sometimes I do that too. Sometimes i just needed to break away from others for a while, just to straighten out my burdens first..Then, when I was feeling better, I would come back and try and help them.

But, you arent a failure. Your burdens are just as important as other peoples burdens.

I hope your struggles in life get better as time goes on.. *many hugs*

 

[veganbunny]

I'm feeling really bad right now, but God is here for me, and I just need to remember that.

 

[Arianna]

i need to hurt myself, and to go hide for the rest of forever

 

[HolyOne87]

i need to hurt myself, and to go hide for the rest of forever

aw, dont hide away..we'll miss you too much!!
Try and not hurt yourself Arianna..as tempting as it may seem. Try and do something you might enjoy..maybe reading, or napping instead..or if you need to talk to someone..PM anyone on here. We are all here for you!

Hope you feel better and will be okay

 

[ConcreteAngel]

i really want to hurt myself. The pain inside just feels too much. I'm really scared because after Sunday, my "mum" is away for 3 weeks and she's the only reason i don't cut myself, but without her there i'm scared that i will cut myself...i hate feeling like i depend on people. I'll miss her soooo much....the worst thing is that i know the others ministers at church will be keeping an eye on me (my "mum" is a minister at my church) even though they don't know what they're looking for...I know they're well-intentioned but they just don't understand...i don't know...today i felt like i could've drove in front of a truck!...just felt soooo depressed.

 

[Arianna]

I am so sorry you feel so bad ConcreteAngel

aw, dont hide away..we'll miss you too much!!
Try and not hurt yourself Arianna..as tempting as it may seem. Try and do something you might enjoy..maybe reading, or napping instead..or if you need to talk to someone..PM anyone on here. We are all here for you!

Hope you feel better and will be okay

Thank you for replying Holyone.
I feel so horrible i can;t make the thoughts stop, i don't know what to do

 

[kathleenmary]

i NEED to cut. now.

 

[ConcreteAngel]

it hurts so much inside and i really feel like i need to let some it out...i just feel sooo bad. Has anyone ever heard of SI'ing behaviour being exacerbated by PMS?

 

[foxyfan]

Arianna You can make it through this whether you realise it now or not you are stronger than these temptations. You can beat this girl


everything is getting too much. There is too much pain inside that i cant release. I cant sleep either and thats not helping cause it giving me time to dwell on the thoughts in my head. I just cant take this anymore why does recovery have to be sooo hard and it is so late here that no one is awake anymore.

 

[HolyOne87]

I am so sorry you feel so bad ConcreteAngel



Thank you for replying Holyone.
I feel so horrible i can;t make the thoughts stop, i don't know what to do

Sometimes I get rid of thoughts by just going out for a bit (myself sometimes..not with anyone else)..I might go walk the mall and just look around to get my mind off things..sometimes i go to my church and talk to the associate pastor (because he simply knows how to make me laugh)..Maybe you just need a little air...Maybe take a walk around the neighborhood..and if you live in a bad neighborhood like me, go to a store you like to go to and browse around. I know browsing helps me forget a lot..because I am thinking of how great everything looks.
and at those times you cant go out (say you get the urges at night), maybe do a word search or watch your fav TV show..or call a friend just talk for fun.

Hope you will be okay..

 

[HolyOne87]

Arianna You can make it through this whether you realise it now or not you are stronger than these temptations. You can beat this girl


everything is getting too much. There is too much pain inside that i cant release. I cant sleep either and thats not helping cause it giving me time to dwell on the thoughts in my head. I just cant take this anymore why does recovery have to be sooo hard and it is so late here that no one is awake anymore.

What you just said to Arianna is something i feel about you (and Im sure many others feel the same). I know how that can be..when one cannot sleep therefore you dwell and dwell on thoughts.
The best thing I can do to not dwell on the thoughts is read..but when the thoughts are just so overbearing, I type out my frustrations on my online journal. I just keep typing and typing..Sometimes I calm down. after that..When I dont, I listen to music to relax (nothing crazy that will raise my urges, but something soothing).
I hope God makes this recovery a tad easier for you..and during those tough times, may God be there to help you through it.

 

[foxyfan]

What you just said to Arianna is something i feel about you (and Im sure many others feel the same). I know how that can be..when one cannot sleep therefore you dwell and dwell on thoughts.
The best thing I can do to not dwell on the thoughts is read..but when the thoughts are just so overbearing, I type out my frustrations on my online journal. I just keep typing and typing..Sometimes I calm down. after that..When I dont, I listen to music to relax (nothing crazy that will raise my urges, but something soothing).
I hope God makes this recovery a tad easier for you..and during those tough times, may God be there to help you through it.

Thanks i got through the night falling asleep eventually

 

[HolyOne87]

Thanks i got through the night falling asleep eventually

thats great to hear! im glad you got through the night!

 

[kathleenmary]

triggered atm..

 

[Arianna]

it hurts so much inside and i really feel like i need to let some it out...i just feel sooo bad. Has anyone ever heard of SI'ing behaviour being exacerbated by PMS?

Sorry you feel so bad . As for you question -yes, definitely.

Arianna You can make it through this whether you realise it now or not you are stronger than these temptations. You can beat this girl

Thanks foxyfan. I am so impressed by your courage at talking to your mum about this!

Sometimes I get rid of thoughts by just going out for a bit (myself sometimes..not with anyone else)..I might go walk the mall and just look around to get my mind off things..sometimes i go to my church and talk to the associate pastor (because he simply knows how to make me laugh)..Maybe you just need a little air...Maybe take a walk around the neighborhood..and if you live in a bad neighborhood like me, go to a store you like to go to and browse around. I know browsing helps me forget a lot..because I am thinking of how great everything looks.
and at those times you cant go out (say you get the urges at night), maybe do a word search or watch your fav TV show..or call a friend just talk for fun.

Hope you will be okay..

Thanks HolyOne. Thank you for the suggestions. ...i find it really hard to concentrate on anything else when i am struggling....i'm sure other people find that too...

How are you?

Thanks i got through the night falling asleep eventually

That's great!

 

[ConcreteAngel]

Thanks Girls!

I'm feeling really strong urges at the moment........i want to SI so badly.

 

[flying_kiwifruit]

Hey ConcreteAngel You can bet this, i know you can try taking a walk or do something to distract yourself from the urges to SI.

 

[HolyOne87]

triggered atm..

try doing something to get it off your mind..maybe play an online game or listen to music (or do both!)