Post-breakup risks/changes/craziness

[E-beth]

The "what divorce taught me" thread has lead me to ask another question to all of the divorced and separated and those that love us.

It seems that most people, after they go through the breakup of a marriage, go through a period of craziness. We do things that are totally uncharacteristic, or things that we always wanted to do but never did.

When my husband's first marriage broke up, he got lots of tatoos and body piercings. My friend from work took part of her settlement money and took a cruise and came back with dreadlocks.

Me, I dyed and permed my hair, then I went totally crazy and went on lots of dates with almost complete strangers. Which for me is crazy 'cause I have social phobia. I also changed my name. had been "Elizabeth" for all the years of my marriage, and after it was over, I started being "Beth."

What are some things you did in your period of "moratorium?"

 

[wandering_celt]

Hey- I'm not crazy. I'm CHEAP! and kinda poor. and, jeeze, now I'm bummin'.

( Maybe I should get a motorcycle. YEAH! )

 

[oldrooster]

I went out and acquired a 21 year old girlfriend for a while, that wasn't a great success. Didn't really get into too much craziness, was hurting far too much for that. I already had my scooter, did however go on a lot of long rides. It does wonders to clear the mind, and spend some quality time alone with God.

 

[tonytech]

Renewed my my faith and started going to church again.............(too busy when 'married')Grew a beard (Ex always said I couldnt)
Did advanced driving course.
Did loads of camping / walking.
Got a social life after years of stay at home fatherhood.

Cant say that makes up for missing my kids but ..........

T

 

[oldrooster]

The "what divorce taught me" thread has lead me to ask another question to all of the divorced and separated and those that love us.

It seems that most people, after they go through the breakup of a marriage, go through a period of craziness. We do things that are totally uncharacteristic, or things that we always wanted to do but never did.

When my husband's first marriage broke up, he got lots of tatoos and body piercings. My friend from work took part of her settlement money and took a cruise and came back with dreadlocks.

Me, I dyed and permed my hair, then I went totally crazy and went on lots of dates with almost complete strangers. Which for me is crazy 'cause I have social phobia. I also changed my name. had been "Elizabeth" for all the years of my marriage, and after it was over, I started being "Beth."
What are some things you did in your period of "moratorium?"

I have always been Chris (middle name) all of my life. Since I became single I have gone by my first name which is Dave.

 

[Mustaphile]

I threw the rule book out the window and started living life from the heart. I remember going to some strip clubs, but it was all pretty superficial. I rebelled a bit, learned to rely on my gut feelings, rather than my head. I had 4 years of driving taxi's, which is a life lesson in itself. It was an easy life, with some exciting and scary moments, in between the monotony of sitting around waiting for work.

I had a young girlfriend too. After a couple of years of waiting around to see if my wife 'got better', I met a nice young lass of 19 years of age, about 13 years my junior, and we flitted around having fun for five years. We wavered between thinking it could work against the odds, to being pragmatic about having totally different life goals and pragmatism won the day in the end. My gut feeling saved me every time....hehehehe..I just knew I was kidding myself thinking it was going to be a success. She would plead with me that we could work it out, but I knew myself all too well, and it was no use lying to her about who I was and what I wanted. I had had three kids and done the fatherhood thing. I had other ideas for the rest of my life. That was the strength of the relationship I think. Honesty about what our motivations were for being involved with each other. Although she had a bit more trouble being honest to herself. She was idealistic, but reality always brought her crashing down. I could read her like a book, and knew exactly when she was hiding things from me. We had fun, we loved each other to death, but we knew there was no future. I nearly got back together with her when she was in a bit of a crisis, with another guy, after we had split up. She flew back over from London and went back into one of her confused periods and I just thought, naaah..that's it, it's done over, she needs to move on. She really needed someone her own age. She was too young, and too much growing up to do.

Now I have a new lady on my horizon, who is in my age group, on the same path in life and everything is looking good. We live a long way apart and have conversed on and off over the past seven years. We are taking steps to meet in person, which will be the acid test for the future of the relationship. If this one doesnt work out I will stick with the plan that has worked for me all my life. Wait for someone to find me, rather than wasting my time trying to find them. In the meantime there is always me and God and we are good pals.

 

[jeshohaia]

I didnt. I returned to who I was before I was married. I returned to the LORD. A good thing. Tats...engh...I had always planed to get some. I already have done things like diving with sharks and fly airplanes. Traveled around the states and north america. Bungee jumping when I was in high school. Eating all sorts of fun things. I did drugs well before this mess.

If anything it caused me to realize that I was in the marriage for the wrong reasons and in the wrong light. SO I returned to Him. Unfortunatly my wife does not want anything to do with me because of my horid life that was my last 2 years.

If anything I plan on continuing my lifes quest at doing everything that I can possiably do several times. (Except for diving...my dream of free diving with a Great White can never happen again...cant dive)

It also caused me to make up my mind in my major. (26 and still fighting school) Biology and Theology.

I really dont have a desire to drive fast and have fast cars and race. Something about going 140mph down country highways doesnt thrill me anymore.

I love G-D more, now than ever. Drugs, alcohol, self destructive behavior have no place in my life and I have had no desire to return to them. Hey! I dig Yeshua now. He replaced all those things.

 

[oldrooster]

Being divorced has allowed me to focus on my walk with the Lord, always had much opposition at home. Now my kids go to church with me and are close to accepting Jesus, praise him.

 

[jlc]

Went to the gym and worked out like you wouldn't believe! Got rid of ALOT of anger that way...pumping iron really is cathartic!

 

[rainyday]

Hey- I'm not crazy. I'm CHEAP! and kinda poor. and, jeeze, now I'm bummin'.

( Maybe I should get a motorcycle. YEAH! )

Jumps up "ME, TOO!" "ME, TOO!"

I've got just enough $$$ to get by but I want a motorcycle!

 

[rainyday]

Being divorced has allowed me to focus on my walk with the Lord, always had much opposition at home. Now my kids go to church with me and are close to accepting Jesus, praise him.

She said 'CRAZY' things ... that, too, is something I have REALLY got out of my separation and pending divorce ... and I'm thankful for my new walk in the Lord!

Of course I wouldn't mind a new 'ride' with our Lord either on the back of a bike!

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Well, my separation has taken me closer and farther from God. I'm on a really wild ride right now.

As far as crazy, I'm growing a mustache now, since she's not kissing me right now anyway.

(I do have my eye on a motorcycle for sale down the street, though)

 

[oldrooster]

She said 'CRAZY' things ... that, too, is something I have REALLY got out of my separation and pending divorce ... and I'm thankful for my new walk in the Lord!

Of course I wouldn't mind a new 'ride' with our Lord either on the back of a bike!

You are always welcome on the back of mine

 

[chris320]

I have not gone crazy at all. In fact, I am more stable without the exwife around, then I was with having to put up with her loose morals and drinking. I now have a second job and work approximately 70-90 hours a week, depending on work load. I can come home and not have to listen about how I am abandoning the family in order to work enough hours to pay my bills and child support payments.

-Chris320

 

[rainyday]

You are always welcome on the back of mine

Thanks, don't mind if I do take you up on that!

 

[oldrooster]

Thanks, don't mind if I do take you up on that!

Anytime.....

 

[rainyday]

Ahhhh, but what kind of a ride? Do we like Harleys? Suzuki? Kawasaki? Honda? Triumph? etc ...

You know roster, these things must be taken into account. You do realize this, yes?

Actually, for me, if it runs and has two wheels ... that's good enough. Beggers can't be chosers! I just want to feel God's fresh air sweetly stinging my cheeks and whistle past my ears as I enjoy this life He blessed me with.

Hey, ever fly an airplane? I've already checked that one off! Now I want to parachute! Ha ha ha ... no I have no death wish, just always figured if I were going to fly a plane, I'd better learn to jump from it as well!

 

[oldrooster]

I have a 2001 Harley FLSTF (fat boy) with a mighty comfy rear seat.....

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

Ahhhh, but what kind of a ride? Do we like Harleys? Suzuki? Kawasaki? Honda? Triumph? etc ...

You know roster, these things must be taken into account. You do realize this, yes?

Actually, for me, if it runs and has two wheels ... that's good enough. Beggers can't be chosers! I just want to feel God's fresh air sweetly stinging my cheeks and whistle past my ears as I enjoy this life He blessed me with.

Hey, ever fly an airplane? I've already checked that one off! Now I want to parachute! Ha ha ha ... no I have no death wish, just always figured if I were going to fly a plane, I'd better learn to jump from it as well!

lol I want to sky dive too.. but I want a bike more. I may not belong here as I'm not divorced (thank God!) but have experienced post breakup syndrome. It really sucks. Not only did I have guy withdrawl symptoms but also motorbike withdrawl heh. I'll shut up now.

 

[oldrooster]

Nothing empowers a woman more than getting her own bike.......