inappropriate contentography and the single Christian

[Tannic]

It compounds the fact even more when God causes certain people to remain single, against their wills.

Frankly, I don't believe God would make such a demand without provision. Others here, seem to disagree with me I believe God is good.

I believe he wants us to get married but during the right time. It's another thing when getting married and he trying to use you for something before it.

 

[pdudgeon]

You're right; no one is forcing me to be one.

So, what is your suggestion then; don't be a Christian anymore?

no. my suggestion is that you follow Jesus.
Hebrews 4:12-16

Hbr 4:12 For the word of God [is] quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [is] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Hbr 4:13 Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things [are] naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.

Hbr 4:14 ¶ Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast [our] profession.

Hbr 4:15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as [we are, yet] without sin.

Hbr 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Please note that Jesus was tempted in all points just as we are so that means that He too, as a single man, went thru that same problem of lust. And yet He didn't sin.

Why? three reasons;
1. He loved God, and it was His desire to please His father in all things.
2. He knew how to value the women around Him.
3. He kept His eyes on His mission, not on Himself or His own pleasure.

now if you could follow Jesus example, it would go a long way towards solving your problem.

 

[SullivanZ]

Jesus was, and is, God. I am not.

To demand perfection from me is ridiculous. Especially coming from a woman, who is married, and not my age.

It is apparent that you have no idea what it is to be a man, who is single (and loathes it) and who is in his late twenties.

To make unrealistic demands on other Christians, is this Christianity?

 

[GodsHandiwork]

Didn't Jesus say of the Pharisees, that 'you put heavy burdens on men and do nothing to ease them'?

lol...there is no denying that it can be a struggle for men and women both...not sure specific genders or ages are immune. But, are you saying we are Pharisees and have laid this burden on you? Who is making demands of you? Is it Christianity? Is it God for giving you a libido? He gives you options and He gave you the Holy Spirit. You chose to be a follower of Christ...what (Who) motivated you? You have chosen to remain celibate. Why? Who are you trying to please...to serve? Have you been in prayer about this seeking guidance from the Holy Spirit? What did He tell you? What does your own conscience tell you?

Didn't Jesus also say “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean." So, is the answer to the "burden" to keep physically chaste from the opposite sex (outward appearance) yet in private indulge spiritually with others in sex through inappropriate contentography? Isn't that somewhat of a double standard?

Sex is a beautiful gift from God. It is a powerful human drive, it is bonding and through it comes life. God has set parameters on it because of its power...within those parameters it can be a wonderful blessing...outside of those boundaries it can be a curse. Desire is not lust...but when desire overwhelms a person to the point that they are willing to sacrifice not only their own spiritual health but the spiritual health of others to indulge themselves...then where is the love? Feed the hungry, shelter the homeless, visit the infirmed and those in prison, provide for the widows and orphans...and promote the inappropriate content industry? Would that be an act of Christian love...to view another person solely as a way to gratify one's own selfish desires?

I don't think anyone is suggesting you be perfect. We all fall far, far short of the Glory of God...on some level we all fail in sacrificing self for and showing love to others. I am not saying this in condemnation. I know that it can be a struggle. But a shifted focus away from 'what can it do for me' to deep thought about 'what is it doing to them' might be a step.

1Cor13
1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

[SullivanZ]

He gives you options and He gave you the Holy Spirit. You chose to be a follower of Christ...what (Who) motivated you? You have chosen to remain celibate.

False.

As for a conversion story, it's a long one, so you'll have to wait on that.

Options?

 

[makeupgirl]

Adultery is sex with someone else's spouse.

That is all.

All type of sexual immorality is adultery because it's without the spouse that God has ordained you to be with. Whether it's premartial, postmartial, fornication, prosituting, inappropriate content, mastaubation (sp?), it's out of the will of God and against him.

I'll be straight up with you, I've had a probably with mastuabation since I was 18. I didn't have a regular boyfriend, so I thought doing that was ok. Then after I gave my life to Christ, I started feeling convictions. I would force myself to act against the Holy Spirit's convictions and do my thang. Well, now I get why it's a sin and why the sexual desires we have is for our marriage. Our body is not our own, it's the temple of the Holy Spirit, we have been brought with a price. (Read 1 Cor 6). So when we commit any form of sexual immorality, we sin against our body. We have committed adultary against our body. Sex is a emotional connection as well as a human one, so no wonder why God wanted us to know that sex without our spouse is bad.

Just think of all the STDs, AIDS, and other sexually transmitted diseases that are floating around. It's a consequence basically, IMO. Each time I have step out, after it was over I felt convicted. 1) first thought was, I have sinned against God. 2) I can be pregnant 3) I can get a disease because I wanted to give into my lusts. Sometimes what we has humans want isn't neccessary the best for us. God knows what is best. So we should always trust him.

 

[pdudgeon]

Jesus was, and is, God. I am not.

To demand perfection from me is ridiculous. Especially coming from a woman, who is married, and not my age.

It is apparent that you have no idea what it is to be a man, who is single (and loathes it) and who is in his late twenties.

To make unrealistic demands on other Christians, is this Christianity?

I was not always this age, i have not always been married, and although i have never been a man, i knew a good many single Christian men well enough to know what they went thru as single Christians.

what i didn't have at the time I was single was someone to explain to me biblically what to do with those desires and why.

so even though you feel put upon, and the solution of the world looks very attractive, you actually have a host of Christians here giving you good advice. not because they want to see you suffer, but because they know that it is possible as a real live man to remain chaste untill marriage if you truly want to do so.

 

[LWB]

I believe the Kingdom of Heaven and following Christ with all your heart is a way of living beyond self.

I have known times when I've been extremely involved with and for others, and during such times carnal aspects of life seem unimportant. Having tasted what this life is like, I can only imagine what it would be like to completely lose one's self focus and be consumed by passion for God and others. It would be heavenly.

I've also known times of disconnection from others. Where I've been left to my own devices, so that the focus of my life has become self. In this mode, carnal aspects of life become magnified beyond ability to resist. Not just sexual desire, but all manner of carnal urgings.

When in this carnal self-centered mode, one can either become totally debauched and arrive at a very unhappy state, or one can become a disciplined aesthete and manage self-centeredness in a way that is somewhat sustainable. Yet it is still an impoverished way of life that will eventually become run down and bankrupt.

Perhaps it would be better to just give in to debauchery that might lead to repentance, than compromise with carnality to such an extent that inappropriate content becomes acceptable. This would be to live a lukewarm faith, and involve great danger for the soul undertaking such an experiment.

Surely the best way to avoid temptations is to follow Christ fully and live beyond or outside of one's self.

 

[realtruth101]

"But my question is, why? Yes, we know what Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, but the word He used there was "adultery" not "fornication"

(NIV)

1 Corinthians 6:18 "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body."

(King James)

1 Corinthians 6:18 "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body."

Therefore we should not committeth thou sin against thy Lord thy God.

Matthew 5:28 "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

The problem with inappropriate content is when you look at it, you are looking at the inappropriate content lustfully.

Lust by dictionary.com

1. intense sexual desire or appetite.

2. uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.

3. a passionate or overmastering desire or craving (usually followed by for ): a lust for power.

Matthew 7:16 "By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?"

Proverbs 5:5 "Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave."

For example lets say at first someone is simply wanting to have sexual relief so they stimulate themselves, next they may be enticed to look at inappropriate content, pretty soon you have a full blown addiction.

Why is this bad? Because pretty soon you will have to give more and more of yourself and the inappropriate content won't satisfy you anymore. You will want to start going to a hooker or other terrible things. Lustful movies, rape, sexual immorality.

Hebrews 4:15 "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin."

Jesus was flesh and blood, Jesus is not looking down on you from some ivory tower shouting "You must resist temptation!" Jesus has been there and done that and yet was without sin.

The problem with this is you may be compromising your beautiful walk with God, you think you have to be single and look at inappropriate content but why not just wait til you get married if you have such a passion? It is like a fire, if you feed the fire it will grow bigger, if you stop feeding it then it will go out.

You may feel like your gonna explode because of build up but that is only if you keep giving in to lustful thoughts. It all starts with your thought life. When you gave your life to Christ you had gotten a new heart, but you still have the sin nature to deal with.

So you have a sin nature not a sinful heart,

Romans 7:22 "For in my inner being I delight in God's law;"

Also

James 2:10 "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it."

Romans 2:25 "Circumcision has value if you observe the law, but if you break the law, you have become as though you had not been circumcised."

1 Corinthians 7:19 "Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God's commands is what counts."

And having a wife may help you with that

Proverbs 18:22 "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD."

If you had a wife for life then when you had trouble she could comfort you and give you emotional and mental support and then you could become one with her

1 Corinthians 6:16 "Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."

Paul said it was better to marry because of so much immorality going on, each man should have his wife and each woman should have her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:5 "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

I am not lying, we all sin that is why we need to ask God for forgiveness but look deep into your heart, it is wrong to look at inappropriate content and if it goes unchecked it will become worse and degenerate.

That is how all sin is

Romans 7:24 "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?"

Jesus will!

Romans 10:13 "for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

COULD IT BE WRITTEN ANY CLEARER!...........but don't let that worry you, there are plenty of folks here that will be able to convince you that the above post is wrong even though its Gods truth

 

[realtruth101]

If you had a wife you would find its alot like a man who craves icecream and buys an icecream parlor, when you can have all the icecream you want, the craving isn't nearly as intense as when you didn't have any. I compare it to when I was a drug addict, when I had drugs the craving to get more was very little, I didn't even have the the intense craving to do the drugs as much as when you didn't have any drugs, and all you could think about was how you were going to get drugs and how intense the craving was to do the drugs. Its very much a battle of the mind. your burning with lust, because you don't have a legal way "biblically" to relieve it......find a wife!

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Ok I'm going to open up a can of worms here. I'm sure I'll get lots of opinions, theories and scriptures quoted (probably out of context lol), but here goes. Okay, Christians often say that inappropriate contentography is a sin to look at or watch. And no, I'm not advocating it but I also don't know if I see the harm. Let me qualify that statement before everyone flips out on me: I definitely can see the harm it does to married couples if one person is into it and the other is not. It's degrading and shameful for the couple and it denigrates God's gift of sex. There's no question of that.

But what about for the single? Most Christians (who are married) condemn it for the single. But my question is, why? Yes, we know what Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, but the word He used there was "adultery" not "fornication", which would logically imply that either you who are lusting, or the object of your lust, if not both, are married. If both parties were unmarried, he would not have used the word we translate as "adultery." So I don't think it applies, based off of the text.

And I say this for a few reasons. Most single Christians I know would rather be married. In fact I don't know any that wouldn't. God's not going to magically remove someone's god-given libido any more than He will remove your desire for food. It's built in. So what is the single person to do? 'Resist temptation' some might say, ok. But if it's not a sin, then the question is WHY is he resisting it? Let's say God has called you to live a life devoted to Him and He forbids marriage. Some will say, Fair enough, but the Bible is clear that marriage is a lesser state for man and one is further off remaining single to serve the Lord. So, how exactly would a man or woman being 'sinning' if they are doing God's will by remaining unmarried, yet they look at inappropriate content? That's the question.

So commence opening can of worms...

A good read. As a single man, and I decide to just look at women in bikinis, is that any worse than actual inappropriate contentography? Or perhaps think about some women you are dating or know personally? Anything wrong with that?

"You should get married because Paul says it's better to have marry than have unfulfilled lust or passion."

This therein' lies some contradiction or flawed logic in the Bible. This suggests that "Hurry up and find a wife to ...you know, do the deed with...just to make it "legal" (unsinful).

Of course, you're going to have to find a willing partner that has mutual feelings and attraction to YOU as a man. But in 2017...well...we know how picky and shallow people can be these days.

 

[LoricaLady]

nd

Ok I'm going to open up a can of worms here. I'm sure I'll get lots of opinions, theories and scriptures quoted (probably out of context lol), but here goes. Okay, Christians often say that inappropriate contentography is a sin to look at or watch. And no, I'm not advocating it but I also don't know if I see the harm. Let me qualify that statement before everyone flips out on me: I definitely can see the harm it does to married couples if one person is into it and the other is not. It's degrading and shameful for the couple and it denigrates God's gift of sex. There's no question of that.

But what about for the single? Most Christians (who are married) condemn it for the single. But my question is, why? Yes, we know what Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, but the word He used there was "adultery" not "fornication", which would logically imply that either you who are lusting, or the object of your lust, if not both, are married. If both parties were unmarried, he would not have used the word we translate as "adultery." So I don't think it applies, based off of the text.

And I say this for a few reasons. Most single Christians I know would rather be married. In fact I don't know any that wouldn't. God's not going to magically remove someone's god-given libido any more than He will remove your desire for food. It's built in. So what is the single person to do? 'Resist temptation' some might say, ok. But if it's not a sin, then the question is WHY is he resisting it? Let's say God has called you to live a life devoted to Him and He forbids marriage. Some will say, "You should get married because Paul says it's better to have marry than have unfulfilled lust or passion." Fair enough, but the Bible is clear that marriage is a lesser state for man and one is further off remaining single to serve the Lord. So, how exactly would a man or woman being 'sinning' if they are doing God's will by remaining unmarried, yet they look at inappropriate content? That's the question.

So commence opening can of worms...

I am single and I know you don't have to use inappropriate content to get through life. As you indicated, it is degrading. It can totally mess up any romantic relationships, any marriage you might have in the future. It is absolutely addicting as many have reported. Further, as many have also reported, it leads ofte down slippery paths, where the addict needs ever more degenerate material to get "high".

I pray you will turn this all over to the Savior. You will not be able to get free without Him. "He who continues to sin becomes a slave to sin."

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Lets just go back to one thing you said at the very start. Lust. You say it about marriage and two people. You also say its not a really a sin because you are single hence, your not technically doing anything wrong. But there is one flaw with your statement. Lust doesn't have to do with sex related stuff. It also means to have a strong desire for something.

So for example if you REALLY want a new games thats out or maybe a sports car to the point of you are almost obsessed with it... you are then in lust. Which is a sin. So how can lust for a car be a sin but not for someone else when single? Lust is lust no matter how you try to twist it into fitting in as being "ok".

And actually on top of lust you also get into idol territory. Lusting for a car means your making it an idol. Lusting for your spouse like crazy means they are an idol. Being single and lusting at inappropriate content makes inappropriate content an idol. No way around that. Why else would one look at naked women online? Maybe to see what kind of face makeup they use? Hairstyle perhaps? Maybe if they have long finger nails? Of course not. You look at them naked because of their parts of the body that get you excited. Its sexual. Lust.

Also as for the better to remain single part you are taking it out of context. The lesser state is staying single actually. Why? Because while true you can focus on God more when single, it takes someone even stronger to focus on God when married. So for the people who marry and still focus on God, they are stronger than the single person since the single person fears marriage because they may not be able to focus on God as much.

Also technically speaking when you are single you have no real support system to keep you guided as a christian. Sure you have the bible and church...etc. But when you have a Christ loving spouse, you have a massive support system. When you get off track your other half is there to help you and vica versa. When single and you go off track no one can totally help you because you have the ability to hide that your off track, assuming you even notice your off track.

 

[iF27]

What about:

Cartoon inappropriate content - fake illustrated images, not real women.

Erotica (written inappropriate contentography) - simply erotic words/literature. Absolutely no imagery.

 

[SamanthaMathis]

It's can be a struggle for one regardless of gender or age, yet remains one of God's precious gifts. I know that it can be a struggle, for some a daily one. Some have bared the burden since youth, as one ages it may seem pointless. I grew up from my sexually frustrated youth hoping to know men but always meekly resisting. The idea of "idle hands" really helped, but I have certain times of unhappiness or stress where giving in to my carnal pleasures is a pressure valve humanity has been given, but that is simple rationalizing.

 

[Sketcher]

What about:

Cartoon inappropriate content - fake illustrated images, not real women.

Erotica (written inappropriate contentography) - simply erotic words/literature. Absolutely no imagery.

Both involve lusting after whoever the character is. I would say that erotica is especially corrupting, as it provides the sinful context in which the encounter takes place, which the mind accepts in order to indulge in the lust that it sets the stage for.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

It's can be a struggle for one regardless of gender or age, yet remains one of God's precious gifts. I know that it can be a struggle, for some a daily one. Some have bared the burden since youth, as one ages it may seem pointless. I grew up from my sexually frustrated youth hoping to know men but always meekly resisting. The idea of "idle hands" really helped, but I have certain times of unhappiness or stress where giving in to my carnal pleasures is a pressure valve humanity has been given, but that is simple rationalizing.

Hi Samantha....speaking of sexual frustration. A friend told me that sexual repression is a downside when it comes to the extremely religious. (Born Catholic myself)...but, some seem tie sexual repression and winds up having Christians perverse sex as opposed to embracing the human side of it. I think this explains the whole priests and kids thing, pastors cheating on their wives, etc. That it all somehow ties in together. Just a theory though.

Apparently, she had a bad run in with these kinds of religious folks in the deep south, only to have been hurt by their hypocrisy. She had one male co-worker, after they JUST had taken a sexual harassment course at work, make a comment in her direcition.

She said that she always gets extreme migraines, and this "Christian's" response..."You need to get laid more." Thus the whole sexually repression cause and effect.

 

[SamanthaMathis]

Its true. I've been a witness to this hypocrisy as well. Any engaging in talk even remotely relating to sexual frustration is received with some judgement. Ive finally come to terms with being comfortable with my body, has been gratifying compared to my younger days when comments at my direction at any work or social function were expected (still is in a sense but now Im more receptive and agreeable).

 

[Jenniferdiana]

I was tenpted myself in the past i feel disgusted with now. I realize its not only ungodly but its dirty and disrepectful to ourselves. God wants us to be Godly/holy in character and conduct.

 

[Handlotion]

Personally, I don't find inappropriate contentography wrong unless it comes to the point where it's an addiction. When someone is addicted to inappropriate content, they start to see human beings as physical objects. Alessandro (the man who killed Maria Goretti because she refused to commit the act of fornication with him) saw Maria Goretti as an object and stated clearly that it was so easy to stab her because he compared the act to stabbing a log. His murderous act all began with a inappropriate content addiction. My point is that watching something like inappropriate content may seem harmless, but like all venial sins, when it becomes a habit it can become a mortal sin. Also it is a lustful act which is a deadly sin. I do see your point about how are single men supposed to control their sexual desire. This is also a problem for many priests.