If I may?
I don't want to just intrude here, but I wonder if I understand the disagreement properly?
I take this use of language to mean ...
If one "is gay" then that implies that this is basically how God created that person to be, how they are? Thus either homosexual sex must be acceptable to God, or else God must have made a mistake with those persons. Is that the reasoning? I remember a time before such words too ...
However, if we say that a person has same-sex attraction, then they are a person, and their passions lean in that direction. People can likewise have desires/attractions in many different directions - some more fully entrenched, some less. Some socially acceptable and good, some clearly not. I hope that I don't need to go into details, but people can have a desire for other humans based on sex, on age, on race, on physical type, or on any number of variables. People can also have desires for non-humans and inanimate objects.
Does God create a person to be attracted to these, or are they a result of our socialization or some other factor of human experience, or of demonic influence and temptation? Or some combination?
To say that a person is same-sex attracted merely describes the state of that person. It may be quite a permanent feature of who that person is, just as it may be a permanent feature of a person to be attracted primarily to the opposite sex of a particular race, or conquests outside of marriage, or any number of inclinations. Some of these find acceptable outlets (a monogamous relationship with the opposite sex within marriage) but the rest do not, and we see those as a cross to be borne by the person who has a desire which cannot be legitimately satisfied. (At least we recognize temptation to be a cross.)
Do I understand the issue? Forgive me again for intruding ...