Polygamy...Was Never God's Plan

[xser88]

xser88, I think you are one of the few posters here who has used New Testament references extensively.

I agree - I certainly do not see polygamy as sinful. I just think it sits very awkwardly with the idea of equality between the sexes. I guess that most posters on this thread are men. The only (self-identified) woman has very strong views and is worth a look.

As for the New Testament and socialist ideas, I agree with you again. I am reminded of a famous British Christian socialist, Donald Soper, who would declare to his atheist comrades that for him the brotherhood of man was founded in the fatherhood of God. He was a Methodist minister and his socialism, which for him was part of his moral outlook, was rooted in that faith.

On polygamy being awkwardly with the idea of equality between the sexes, I know what you mean. But because of how both sexes are designed both mentally and biologically, I can see it working for men than for women. I personally think most men like myself egos are too emotionally fragile to be put in a position of his women comparing him to other men. Ever wonder why in all industries types of movies we see naked or well-endowed women but not men? but if it is focusing on the man's manhood, it better be a joke for us to laugh at. Most men in the audience would be too upset with the display of the counterpart of a well-endowed woman, are egos are that weak. Competition and jealousy would be a major problem. I believe women can deal with those sorts of insecurities better.

Before DNA testing, it could be a challenge knowing which husband is the father. Of course with polygamy there is one father. In new testament I believe God was favoring one wife. He didn't push for polygamy as ideal or condemn it, but wanted to provide for the many now widows and orphans due to the death of the husband. Back then women had few opinions, homelessness or prostitution.That's why the new testament has verses saying to look after widows and orphans in their distress. But I do see one advantage in polyandry, security and parental care for her children.

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

On polygamy being awkwardly with the idea of equality between the sexes, I know what you mean. But because of how both sexes are designed both mentally and biologically, I can see it working for men than for women. I personally think most men like myself egos are too emotionally fragile to be put in a position of his women comparing him to other men. Ever wonder why in all industries types of movies we see naked or well-endowed women but not men? but if it is focusing on the man's manhood, it better be a joke for us to laugh at. Most men in the audience would be too upset with the display of the counterpart of a well-endowed woman, are egos are that weak. Competition and jealousy would be a major problem. I believe women can deal with those sorts of insecurities better.

Before DNA testing, it could be a challenge knowing which husband is the father. Of course with polygamy there is one father. In new testament I believe God was favoring one wife. He didn't push for polygamy as ideal or condemn it, but wanted to provide for the many now widows and orphans due to the death of the husband. Back then women had few opinions, homelessness or prostitution.That's why the new testament has verses saying to look after widows and orphans in their distress. But I do see one advantage in polyandry, security and parental care for her children.

Fair enough, that all may be true; but the Biblical texts reinforce the headship concept; if men are supposed to be the head of their wives (similar to how GOD is the head of Christ); polygamy doesn't clash with that, while polyandry does (a woman cannot have multiple 'heads').

 

[Whyayeman]

I don't understand any of this.

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

I don't understand any of this.

1 Corinthians 11:3 (ESV)

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.​

Ephesians 5:22-24 (ESV)

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.​

It seems GOD has set an authority structure in our society. Various egalitarian proponents have recently (in the last 30 years or so - Google 'Catherine Krueger') argued for the word 'head' NOT to be interpreted as 'authority/control'; as a more-or-less desperate attempt to remove Patriarchy from the NT writings but these efforts don't have sufficient credibility IMHO and most others. Extensive research and publications have been done on this by Wayne Grudem (Google is your friend).

Before anyone jumps in and tells me the section in Ephesians also contains admonitions for husbands; yes, I know that but that was not the issue at hand here.

 

[Whyayeman]

It seems GOD has set an authority structure in our society

Not to me. I respect your view and you are welcome to it. I do not look for guidance to the Bible.

 

[Sunshinee777]

So polygamy means that only man is allowed to have multiple spouses?
The problem for me comes when woman is not allowed to do the same.
I think that is beautiful if man has so much love to offer that he can deal with many wives.

 

[Whyayeman]

So polygamy means that only man is allowed to have multiple spouses?

Yes, it means 'many wives'. A woman having many husbands is polyandry. Historically this is rarer, but not unknown. If a woman has enough love for many husbands - would that be wonderful too? (As far as I know there is nothing in the Bible about it, so does that mean it is forbidden?)

 

[Sunshinee777]

Yes, it means 'many wives'. A woman having many husbands is polyandry. Historically this is rarer, but not unknown. If a woman has enough love for many husbands - would that be wonderful too? (As far as I know there is nothing in the Bible about it, so does that mean it is forbidden?)

Yes it would be wonderful well why not if all those people are in agreement.

 

[Forest_Garden]

sex is sacred because its how we all came to be born
thus the 1:1 ratio
husband and wife
man and woman of course.

although being a man, the concept of having more than one wife may be attractive. It simply isn't the right way. Nor is it attributable to true love.

I would say more on the subject but it seems that we're facing enough controversy as it is.

if it ever becomes more than this or changes. We're all looking at major issues
due to male and femaie being principle.

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

So polygamy means that only man is allowed to have multiple spouses?

The problem for me comes when woman is not allowed to do the same.

That's the very definition of polygamy indeed, a woman having multiple husbands is called polyandry. Because of the asymmetrical relationship between man and woman as the Biblical texts define it, only polygamy fits that model, but polyandry doesn't.

In today's egalitarian society that may come across as very unfair; but that is simply what the Biblical texts imply, and by extension I believe, GOD desires. I understand Finland like most of Scandinavia is quite egalitarian; so the cultural distance between Finland and the Biblical one would be massive I presume.

I think that is beautiful if man has so much love to offer that he can deal with many wives.

Amen to that And having to treat them all fairly. One of the main benefits of polygamy for believers these days would be no women would be forced to remain single or be single mothers.

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

Not to me. I respect your view and you are welcome to it. I do not look for guidance to the Bible.

Thanks for that; likewise - in your case, I don't think any discussion or argument may convince you, only when GOD himself visits you, that all may change

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

sex is sacred because its how we all came to be born
thus the 1:1 ratio
husband and wife
man and woman of course.

although being a man, the concept of having more than one wife may be attractive. It simply isn't the right way. Nor is it attributable to true love.

May I advise for caution in saying that a man loving two wives is not true love?

GOD himself portrays himself as having two wives:

Jeremiah 3:6-10
Jeremiah 31:31-32 (ESV)

Behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the Lord.​

Ezekiel 23

True love is caring for the other one by actions, not just words, or 'fuzzy' feelings.

 

[Sunshinee777]

That's the very definition of polygamy indeed, a woman having multiple husbands is called polyandry. Because of the asymmetrical relationship between man and woman as the Biblical texts define it, only polygamy fits that model, but polyandry doesn't.

In today's egalitarian society that may come across as very unfair; but that is simply what the Biblical texts imply, and by extension I believe, GOD desires. I understand Finland like most of Scandinavia is quite egalitarian; so the cultural distance between Finland and Biblical one would be massive I presume.



Amen to that And having to treat them all fairly. One of the main benefits of polygamy for believers these days would be no women would be forced to remain single or be single mothers.

So why some people say that man who is polygamy is selfish? How that can be?
The more wives you have, the more responsibility you have and the more you have to give! Those wives are the ones having it easy!

Anyway bible has very strict rules which nobody can live up to. Well certainly not me. Why try impossible? God’s grace is doing what it was meant to do in my life. And my faith in God is growing steadily, so why I would need my own strength to be righteous? I don’t need it, I don’t want it.

I just need to cling to God so he can cleanse me continually from all unrighteousness. I love you Jesus.

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

So why some people say that man who is polygamy is selfish? How that can be?
The more wives you have, the more responsibility you have and the more you have to give! Those wives are the ones having it easy!

Anyway bible has very strict rules which nobody can live up to. Well certainly not me. Why try impossible? God’s grace is doing what it was meant to do in my life. And my faith in God is growing steadily, so why I would need my own strength to be righteous? I don’t need it, I don’t want it.

I just need to cling to God so he can cleanse me continually from all unrighteousness. I love you Jesus.

I couldn't have said it any better ... !

Usually commenters will think a man is ONLY targeting sexual satisfaction in case of polygamy, but marriage entails so much more than that; emotional & physical care, social support/friendship, housing, raising children, Biblical studies, etc.

 

[Sunshinee777]

I couldn't have said it any better ... !

Usually commenters will think a man is ONLY targeting sexual satisfaction in case of polygamy, but marriage entails so much more than that; emotional & physical care, food, housing, support, raising children, Biblical studies, etc.

Are these same people thinking that their own husband is with them just because sex. Same thing.

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

Are these same people thinking that their own husband is with them just because sex. Same thing.

Indeed, if one suspects a man of having that motive for a 2nd, or 3rd marriage, he/she then might as well suspect that same motive for the 1st one; and no one in their right mind would think that

Very well spotted, that pseudo argument!

At the same time I also do not want to pretend the sexual aspect does not play a role at all; sexuality is very important to men in general; and on average interest in sex among women wanes more and faster by age than among men - that is just a statistic.

Anyway, it takes courage as a woman to recognise and stand up for Biblical principles, and not give in to pressure nowadays societal values.

 

[Learning & Growing]

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All you have to do is read the Bible story of Abraham or Jacob and see the misery that having MULTIPLE WIVES brings into a home, to KNOW that POLYGAMY was never God's plan. It brings no more happiness today than it did back then.

As Christians, if we want God's blessing on our family, we need to follow the PLAN He gave us from Creation ~ ONE MAN & ONE WOMAN

My husband has spent a lot of time in the Middle East and has known plenty of people with multiple wives. He always jokes there is no way he can handle more than one and he has no idea how those guys do it. LOL!!! I joke with him that it sure would be nice to have an extra pair of hands to help around the house and with the kids! HAHAHA Plenty of humor to go around I guess... but God's design is God's design

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

My husband has spent a lot of time in the Middle East and has known plenty of people with multiple wives. He always jokes there is no way he can handle more than one and he has no idea how those guys do it. LOL!!! I joke with him that it sure would be nice to have an extra pair of hands to help around the house and with the kids! HAHAHA Plenty of humor to go around I guess... but God's design is God's design

Indeed, that's good illustration of the benefits but also the burdens of multiple wives; but remember God's ideal doesn't mean anything else by definition is sinful or wrong; otherwise intentionally staying single would be wrong as well

 

[Learning & Growing]

Indeed, that's good illustration of the benefits but also the burdens of multiple wives; but remember God's ideal doesn't mean anything else by definition is sinful or wrong; otherwise intentionally staying single would be wrong as well

Very good point! I try not to judge...

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

Very good point! I try not to judge...

Knowing other cultures (having friends from, having lived in those cultures) nudges us to de-bias our beliefs and principles and re-align them with what the Bible originally says (and also realise what it does not say). Most Western Christians may not fully be aware Middle-East current societies in several ways resemble Biblical culture and norms more than what is common in the USA/Europe/Australia.