POCD and relationships

[LaundrySoap]

Hey all,
I'm a girl, and I've struggled with POCD for awhile. It's to the point where I'm hyper aware around kids, and I get anxious holding them or playing with them. I also, a few years ago, was worried about potentially going into high school teaching, because I was afraid of my thoughts of finding high school boys attractive. I ended up choosing not to go into teaching for different reasons, but the thoughts of "that high school boy is attractive" still hit me.
Here's where I'm freaking out. My boyfriend is the exact same age as me (we are late 20s), but he LOOKS significantly younger. And my fear is, even though finding high school boys attractive freaks me out, I'm scared that subconsciously I'm attracted to my boyfriend because he looks like he could be 18 or younger.
I've looked at him before and noticed he looks older, like around his eyes, and this thought hasn't really been on my mind lately, but it just popped in this morning and it's freaking me out. I'm not really sure what to do about it--do I break up with him just to he safe? Just ignore the thought and pray that this isn't who I really am? I'm kind of disgusted with myself. Maybe I just need to date men who look older than me, but I also really DON'T want to break up with my boyfriend; he's amazing.
Please help.

 

[angelsaroundme]

Personally, I think giving into OCD here would be a mistake. You could leave this guy, find someone else who looks older, and then your OCD comes up with some other reason why the new relationship is wrong. OCD has no limits. It's like a critical person who is never happy.

People are more than their appearance. If you get along well together, there's no reason to throw that away.

 

[Leaf473]

Hey all,
I'm a girl, and I've struggled with POCD for awhile. It's to the point where I'm hyper aware around kids, and I get anxious holding them or playing with them. I also, a few years ago, was worried about potentially going into high school teaching, because I was afraid of my thoughts of finding high school boys attractive. I ended up choosing not to go into teaching for different reasons, but the thoughts of "that high school boy is attractive" still hit me.
Here's where I'm freaking out. My boyfriend is the exact same age as me (we are late 20s), but he LOOKS significantly younger. And my fear is, even though finding high school boys attractive freaks me out, I'm scared that subconsciously I'm attracted to my boyfriend because he looks like he could be 18 or younger.
I've looked at him before and noticed he looks older, like around his eyes, and this thought hasn't really been on my mind lately, but it just popped in this morning and it's freaking me out. I'm not really sure what to do about it--do I break up with him just to he safe? Just ignore the thought and pray that this isn't who I really am? I'm kind of disgusted with myself. Maybe I just need to date men who look older than me, but I also really DON'T want to break up with my boyfriend; he's amazing.
Please help.

I don't know much about POCD. It seems like staying with your boyfriend is a good idea.

And lots of prayers! Praying for you

 

[Leaf473]

And welcome to CF!

 

[Mari17]

Hey all,
I'm a girl, and I've struggled with POCD for awhile. It's to the point where I'm hyper aware around kids, and I get anxious holding them or playing with them. I also, a few years ago, was worried about potentially going into high school teaching, because I was afraid of my thoughts of finding high school boys attractive. I ended up choosing not to go into teaching for different reasons, but the thoughts of "that high school boy is attractive" still hit me.
Here's where I'm freaking out. My boyfriend is the exact same age as me (we are late 20s), but he LOOKS significantly younger. And my fear is, even though finding high school boys attractive freaks me out, I'm scared that subconsciously I'm attracted to my boyfriend because he looks like he could be 18 or younger.
I've looked at him before and noticed he looks older, like around his eyes, and this thought hasn't really been on my mind lately, but it just popped in this morning and it's freaking me out. I'm not really sure what to do about it--do I break up with him just to he safe? Just ignore the thought and pray that this isn't who I really am? I'm kind of disgusted with myself. Maybe I just need to date men who look older than me, but I also really DON'T want to break up with my boyfriend; he's amazing.
Please help.

I agree with angelsaroundme that giving in to OCD is not wise. Do you have any support for dealing with OCD, and do you know much about treating it?

 

[Tolworth John]

I'm scared that subconsciously I'm attracted to my boyfriend because he looks like he could be 18 or younger.

may I suggest that you sit down and write out a list of reasons why you love your boyfriend.
List all the qualities that attract you to him.

Seriously are there more reasons than he is pretty?

If that is the case why are you freaking out because he is also good to look at?

May I suggest that you look up the site
25 tips for sucessfully traeting your OCD

it has useful advice, particularly point 4 dealing with intrusive thoughts.
Read it and share it with family, friends and your doctor etc.

 

[Larniavc]

Hey all,
I'm a girl, and I've struggled with POCD for awhile. It's to the point where I'm hyper aware around kids, and I get anxious holding them or playing with them. I also, a few years ago, was worried about potentially going into high school teaching, because I was afraid of my thoughts of finding high school boys attractive. I ended up choosing not to go into teaching for different reasons, but the thoughts of "that high school boy is attractive" still hit me.
Here's where I'm freaking out. My boyfriend is the exact same age as me (we are late 20s), but he LOOKS significantly younger. And my fear is, even though finding high school boys attractive freaks me out, I'm scared that subconsciously I'm attracted to my boyfriend because he looks like he could be 18 or younger.
I've looked at him before and noticed he looks older, like around his eyes, and this thought hasn't really been on my mind lately, but it just popped in this morning and it's freaking me out. I'm not really sure what to do about it--do I break up with him just to he safe? Just ignore the thought and pray that this isn't who I really am? I'm kind of disgusted with myself. Maybe I just need to date men who look older than me, but I also really DON'T want to break up with my boyfriend; he's amazing.
Please help.

Have you tried CBT? It is an evidence based effective treatment for OCD.