Pleasing family...?

[Glorianna]

*thinks about it for a few seconds* It would be hard to believe. I would feel like I was dreaming. Neither one of us having to leave would be strange at first, but I am sure we would get used to it and realize we don't have to leave on a plane anymore to go home.

 

[...butterfly...]

I find it very difficult to please everyone. Its annoying...

 

[reverie_maiden]

I find it very difficult to please everyone. Its annoying...

I agree. My dad will still be angry with me for leaving early to head 2 hours down the road for our hotel room that night. I swear he still thinks I am 6 years old and he can't let go.

 

[Glorianna]

You're your daddy's little girl. It's the same way with me but my dad is learning that I'm an independant woman now.

 

[reverie_maiden]

You're your daddy's little girl. It's the same way with me but my dad is learning that I'm an independant woman now.

I wish someone could tell my dad that. *rolls her eyes*

 

[Glorianna]

I wish someone could tell my dad that. *rolls her eyes*

He'll be forced to learn once you're a married woman, don't worry.

 

[reverie_maiden]

He'll be forced to learn once you're a married woman, don't worry.

Lol, it will be like a slap in the face for him. He needs it though.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I would be hesitant just relying on a marriage to do that though.

I see too many problems of parents and children that are still attached at the time of the marriage to advise that.

Seriously, work on it now - you'll save a lot of heartache, particularly on your husband's side...

Sasch

 

[reverie_maiden]

I would be hesitant just relying on a marriage to do that though.

I see too many problems of parents and children that are still attached at the time of the marriage to advise that.

Seriously, work on it now - you'll save a lot of heartache, particularly on your husband's side...

Sasch

My fiance is already hurting about all this. The wedding is already driving him up the wall.

 

[joeman1]

I would be hesitant just relying on a marriage to do that though.

I see too many problems of parents and children that are still attached at the time of the marriage to advise that.

Seriously, work on it now - you'll save a lot of heartache, particularly on your husband's side...

Sasch

Thank you so much finally someone who can actually see my side of things.

 

[Mskedi]

You could just offend everyone and elope .

In all honesty, though, you're not going to be able to please everyone, so I see no need to try. Make one concession for your fiance's family and one concession for your family (looks like it's the staying late thing), and then focus the rest of your efforts on what you want. If you guys are paying for it, then I don't see why either of your parents are even being filled in on your plans -- if they're not informed, they can't complain. Simple enough.

On the other hand, if they're contributing financially, you're kind of stuck.

 

[MN John]

I'm so glad after reading this that we're going simple... probably about 5 guests. We're thinking of going to a restaurant afterwards as a mini-reception.

 

[reverie_maiden]

I'm so glad after reading this that we're going simple... probably about 5 guests. We're thinking of going to a restaurant afterwards as a mini-reception.

Goodness gracious, you are lucky. Joey and I can't do it that way though, because we would have a lot of angry relatives on our hands...oh and parents too!

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

I think that's part of the 'bonus' of getting married older - there is a definite correlation (at least on here) of age and number of guests.

As you get older I think you just start to realise that 'hey it's OUR wedding, we want people there that REALLY mean something to us, so we'll restrict the numbers to show that', or something like that.

I've realised it on here - the younger couples seem to be looking at numbers of 100-plus, and wouldn't dream of not inviting the entire church and all extended family; those slightly older (ie. upwards of 25) are wanting absolute maximums of 50...

That's probably the difference between you and MN John, Reverie - with your age you will probably find it much harder to stake your independance in regards to your wedding.

Not really fair, but understandable...

Sasch

 

[Glorianna]

I would be hesitant just relying on a marriage to do that though.

I see too many problems of parents and children that are still attached at the time of the marriage to advise that.

Seriously, work on it now - you'll save a lot of heartache, particularly on your husband's side...

Sasch

What I meant was that being married will help in this matter. Other things need to be done in order to leave and cleave, but the act of getting married is a step in the right direction.

 

[reverie_maiden]

I think that's part of the 'bonus' of getting married older - there is a definite correlation (at least on here) of age and number of guests.

As you get older I think you just start to realise that 'hey it's OUR wedding, we want people there that REALLY mean something to us, so we'll restrict the numbers to show that', or something like that.

I've realised it on here - the younger couples seem to be looking at numbers of 100-plus, and wouldn't dream of not inviting the entire church and all extended family; those slightly older (ie. upwards of 25) are wanting absolute maximums of 50...

That's probably the difference between you and MN John, Reverie - with your age you will probably find it much harder to stake your independance in regards to your wedding.

Not really fair, but understandable...

Sasch

Yeah I know. There are people I wish not to invite, but my dad insists they come. Very frustrating!

 

[bliz]

Goodness gracious, you are lucky. Joey and I can't do it that way though, because we would have a lot of angry relatives on our hands...oh and parents too!

So... you'd rather make your husband-to-be angry than your relatives and your parents...

You are starting off your marriage making the wrong choices. You are defering to everyone but the man who is going to be your husband.

You can Joey can have any kind of wedding you like - or no wedding at all. But if you leave Joey out of this, you will be starting your marriage on a very wrong foot. Who comes first - your husband or your father?

 

[reverie_maiden]

So... you'd rather make your husband-to-be angry than your relatives and your parents...

You are starting off your marriage making the wrong choices. You are defering to everyone but the man who is going to be your husband.

You can Joey can have any kind of wedding you like - or no wedding at all. But if you leave Joey out of this, you will be starting your marriage on a very wrong foot. Who comes first - your husband or your father?

My fiance would love to read this post, because someone is finally defending his side of the arguement. Joey and I have been fighting over a week now about just what you were talking about. So, I am guessing I am the problem huh?

 

[Glorianna]

It's hard to find a compromise in a situation like this.

 

[bliz]

My fiance would love to read this post, because someone is finally defending his side of the arguement. Joey and I have been fighting over a week now about just what you were talking about. So, I am guessing I am the problem huh?

I cannot say, only you can.

One of the reasons marriages fail is that one of the parties has not left their family and they continue to put their parents or siblings or extended relations first before their spouse. The Bible is very clear on this - the couple is to become one flesh. He is to be the most important person in your life. Right now it seems that you are putting your parent's wishes above his. I would encourage both of you to go and talk with your pastor.

In an ideal world, your parents would be encouraging you to do this and for one reason or another, they are not doing so. But that does not mean that you cannot set things right and loving and gently make it clear to family that he comes first.